mkoz
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« on: October 24, 2009, 06:02:PM » |
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Hi all! Really came to an epiphany on the way the house is run compared husband and wife. My wife and 2 of our children came down with the flu (normal flu, no H1N1) recently, and I took a few days off from work to help out. Firstly, let me say when the mom is sick, EVERYTHING falls apart! Time to adapt and overcome. And secondly, I found out that my wife runs the house very differently then I do/would. I thought we were always on the same page when it came to maintaining the way the house is managed, but I received a shocking awakening when I stayed home to help. Not in her ideas of how it should go, but in the actual execution of it! Back talk allowed, disrespect, etc... Needless to say I was very disappointed in the way the day to day things are managed, and I quickly got things back in order. Hmmmm..... something about a father's voice that's make children realize that you're NOT fooling around..... compared to a mother's tender "if I tell you again".... Just looking for your own experience and/or thoughts on this as I am sure we have all been through something of the sort.... SERENITY NOW!!  All the best! |
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CanadianCatholic
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Personality type: CrAzY
Posts: 3,925
Kickin @$$ and takin names
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« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2009, 06:15:PM » |
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Hi all! Really came to an epiphany on the way the house is run compared husband and wife. My wife and 2 of our children came down with the flu (normal flu, no H1N1) recently, and I took a few days off from work to help out. Firstly, let me say when the mom is sick, EVERYTHING falls apart! Time to adapt and overcome. And secondly, I found out that my wife runs the house very differently then I do/would. I thought we were always on the same page when it came to maintaining the way the house is managed, but I received a shocking awakening when I stayed home to help. Not in her ideas of how it should go, but in the actual execution of it! Back talk allowed, disrespect, etc... Needless to say I was very disappointed in the way the day to day things are managed, and I quickly got things back in order. Hmmmm..... something about a father's voice that's make children realize that you're NOT fooling around..... compared to a mother's tender "if I tell you again".... Just looking for your own experience and/or thoughts on this as I am sure we have all been through something of the sort.... SERENITY NOW!! All the best! Its easier to deal with the kids, when you only have to deal wit it a couple hours a day, as opposed to all day, every day, 24/7. If you and your wife traded places, the kids would listen to dad great for a while, till the novelty wore off. Then they would start lipping you off, and pushing your buttons too. Kids always test their boundaries, try their hardest to see what they can get away with. |
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mkoz
New Here
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« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2009, 06:31:PM » |
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haha  I chuckle because that is probably the first answer anyone would give to my statement/question. I think for most of us on this website, we all grew up with the "beatings"...... the shoe, the belt, the kitchen spoon..... all on our backsides. Now my wife and I are of a different mind in the way that we do utilize the "time out" factor. But when I see my wife put it into action, it's the "if I tell you again" rule instead of "ok, you did it again and I just told you not to!" which I utilize. It's not a matter of "not being around", it's the matter of following through. That's the point I am trying to get across. The wifey giving every opportunity to get them out of the situation instead of "handing down the sentence", which is sitting on the step for as long as you are old.... and I am home on weekends mind you instead of the idea that I am only dealing with our children for 3 hours a night....  |
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Arun
Henceforth known as "His Awesomeness". Thanks, Credo.
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Posts: 2,266
IN NOMINE TVO LEVABO MANVS MEAS. 33.
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« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2009, 07:23:PM » |
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My wife does that time out stuff. I smack, or threten to smack. sometimes i threaten to eat their brains (no i'm not kidding) or cut off various body parts (tongues fungers etc) its just the diff between men and women i guess
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Unless the Lord God had been present in your spirits, all of you would not have uttered the same cry. For, although the cry issued from numerous mouths, yet the origin of the cry was one. Therefore I say to you that God, who implanted this in your breasts, has drawn it forth from you. Let this then be your war-cry in combats, because this word is given to you by God. When an armed attack is made upon the enemy, let this one cry be raised by all the soldiers of God: It is the will of God! It is the will of God!
Genesis XXVII:iii-iv Take thy arms, thy quiver and bow, and go abroad:and when thou hast taken something by hunting, make me savoury meat thereof, as thou knowest I like, and bring it, that I may eat: and my soul may bless thee before I die.
Our revenge will be the laughter of our children. - M.P. Bobby Sands + 5/5/81
"You are the ones who are happy; you who remain within the Church by your Faith, who hold firmly to the foundations of the Faith which has come down to you from Apostolic Tradition. And if an execrable jealousy has tried to shake it on a number of occasions, it has not succeeded. They are the ones who have broken away from it in the present crisis. No one, ever, will prevail against your Faith, beloved Brothers. And we believe that God will give us our churches back some day. " - St Athanasius
What does a scanner see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into myself. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the scanners do better. Because if the scanner sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up dead this way, knowing very little, and getting that little fragment wrong too.
Phillip K Dick
*Pray for the canonisation of Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre*
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CanadianCatholic
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Personality type: CrAzY
Posts: 3,925
Kickin @$$ and takin names
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« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2009, 09:11:PM » |
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haha I chuckle because that is probably the first answer anyone would give to my statement/question. I think for most of us on this website, we all grew up with the "beatings"...... the shoe, the belt, the kitchen spoon..... all on our backsides. Now my wife and I are of a different mind in the way that we do utilize the "time out" factor. But when I see my wife put it into action, it's the "if I tell you again" rule instead of "ok, you did it again and I just told you not to!" which I utilize. It's not a matter of "not being around", it's the matter of following through. That's the point I am trying to get across. The wifey giving every opportunity to get them out of the situation instead of "handing down the sentence", which is sitting on the step for as long as you are old.... and I am home on weekends mind you instead of the idea that I am only dealing with our children for 3 hours a night.... I grew up with "beatings" only mine were the real kind, not the usual old school, hard knocks spankings. More like the broken bones, bloody kind...So i do know a thing or two about corporal punishment. And yeah, 3 hours a night and weekends...sure. I stand by my 24/7 comment. Sometimes you'll do anything to just get a break. Especially when your constantly pregnant, exhausted and a house full of kids 5 and under, so EVERYTHING is on yoru plate and yours alone when dads not home. And did you just call your spouse "wifey"...?? |
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Beware_the_Ides
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« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2009, 06:09:PM » |
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Sounds similar to the way I grew up. Kind of like good cop, bad cop. Mom was much more permissive but would always straighten us out with the, "Wait 'til your father gets home," threat. Most times that would work. She broke more than my fair share of wooden spoons on me and would also come after us (me and my younger brother) with fly swatters or wet dish rags so we learned to run and barricade doors when necessary. Once, she took a back handed swing at my brother and he ducked - she hit the banister and broke her finger - I remember dad telling her, 'I told you not to use your hand, Pick something up to swing at them.' Dad was self-employed, so occasionally she would call him at the office and he would straighten us out over the phone and usually again when he got home. They never laid a hand on my sisters but my brother and I weren't so lucky; however, it was never as severe as CC describes (I'm so sorry for you, dear).
Usually, he would back us against the wall and grab the hair on our head, gently banging our head against the wall and a couple fingers across the face. As I recall, it was more demoralizing than physically painful but the message was clear - straighten up or it'll get worse - restriction or spanking. He set this tone early, so we were pretty well behaved - I heard that so much from restaurant wait staff that it became embarrassing. It only took a dirty look from him to straighten us out in most instances and we all recognized that pattern - if you didn't straighten up pronto once you saw that look, you were going to be in trouble. I think we took him more seriously because he followed through on the punishment threats.
I think the most important thing is that moms and dads are supportive of each other in their parenting roles. In a way, I think it's best for mom to be the nurturer in the sense that she softens the severity of dad by being "good cop" and expalining that 'dad and I love you, but this is why he/we is/are punishing you.' However, it is even more important that "good cop" not undermine "bad cop" (i.e. by cancelling restrictions) and that, occasionally, those roles are reversed. I watch my younger brother struggle to discipline his 5yo in much the same way we were raised but his wife steps in and undermines his authority the way I see it. Of course, that's an entirely different story.
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Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverum reverteris
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