A joke for your monday

[Matamoros]

Some of you might have heard this one or a version of it before. Here's the sede version

 

Thr Holy Trinity were discussing about the deplorable state of the Church one day. The Father says, 'I cannot stand it any longer. Another bunch of these zen Jesuits and I'm not going to delay Judgment Day any longer!' The Son then replies, 'Agreed. I have had enough of the spinelessness, the laxity and lukewarmness of the laity.I maybe the Merciful Savior, but lest anyone forget, I am also Judge of the World!' The Holy Spirit, quiet until then, suddenly spoke up. 'Let's give them one more chance. in the meantime, I suggest we take a vacation'.

 

The Father spoke: 'I want to go to New York'. The Holy Ghost replies, 'But they're all so liberated. They'll just call You 'mother' again'.

 

'What about Jerusalem?' posits the Son. The Father replies, 'Don't you remember what happened the last time you were there? They'll just crucify You again.'

 

After a long [ read: eternity ] of silence, the Father spoke again. 'Aha!', He said, while snapping His fingers. 'Let's go to Rome!' 'Sounds great!' said the Holy Ghost. 'I haven't been there in a very long time!'

 

 

[Vincentius]

Question: "How many traditional catholics does it take to change a light bulb"

 
  One.   Uses reason and logic.
 
  Brings out his VOM (volt-ohm meter) and checks for continuity. The bulb  is good. Ah, therefore the power must be off.  Goes to the  electrical panel and turns on the breaker.

[CampeadorShin]

Don't use Wiki, its wicked.

[Marty]

 Paddy staggered home very late after
another evening with his drinking
Buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to
avoid waking his wife, Brigid.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward
the stairs leading to their
Upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the
bottom step. As he caught himself
by grabbing the banister, his body swung
around and he landed heavily
on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each
back pocket broke and made the

landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up,
pulled down his pants, and
looked in the hall mirror to see that
his butt cheeks were cut and
bleeding. He managed to quietly find a
full box of band-Aids and
began putting a Band-Aid as best he
could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty
Band-Aid box and shuffled and
stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Paddy woke up with
searing pain in both his head and
butt and Brigid staring at him from
across the room.
"You were drunk again last night weren't
you Paddy?"
Paddy said, "Why you say such a mean
thing?"
"Well," Brigid said, "it could be the
open front door, it could be the
broken glass at the bottom of the
stairs, it could be the drops of
blood trailing through the house,

it could be your bloodshot eyes,

but mostly... it's all those Band-Aids stuck
on the hall mirror."

[Spooky7272]

 Marty that was too funny!!!