A joke for your monday

[lumengentleman]

The obvious counter-part is the ever-popular:

 

How many Novus Ordo Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Twenty-eight.  One to replace the bulb with a candle, and the other twenty-seven to write books about how much brighter the room is now.

[JLeigh]

Let's take this to the secular level....

 

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

 

 

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[glastonbury_thorn]

The dynamics of the internet forum: the unfathomable mystery of human behavior.

[Mommie2Boys]

:lol: Yall are ALL cracking me up so bad!! I loved all the answers...

[VoxClamantis]

Jen, you forgot:

 

2 to post entire webpages about lightbulbs when only one paragraph of the text is relevant to the issue.

 

1 to post an entire webpage that forces readers to scroll sideways.

 

4 to go on about, however many it takes, women shouldn't be involved due to reasons of modesty.

 

5 to defend women who change light bulbs.

 

2 to complain about the obvious "modernist neo-feminism" of those who defend women who change light bulbs.

 

1 to post "Beer!"

[JLeigh]

Jen, you forgot:

 

2 to post entire webpages about lightbulbs when only one paragraph of the text is relevant to the issue.

 

1 to post an entire webpage that forces readers to scroll sideways.

 

4 to go on about, however many it takes, women shouldn't be involved due to reasons of modesty.

 

5 to defend women who change light bulbs.

 

2 to complain about the obvious "modernist neo-feminism" of those who defend women who change light bulbs.

 

1 to post "Beer!"

ROFL!!

[AdoramusTeChriste]

 

Jen, you forgot:

 

2 to post entire webpages about lightbulbs when only one paragraph of the text is relevant to the issue.

 

1 to post an entire webpage that forces readers to scroll sideways.

 

4 to go on about, however many it takes, women shouldn't be involved due to reasons of modesty.

 

5 to defend women who change light bulbs.

 

2 to complain about the obvious "modernist neo-feminism" of those who defend women who change light bulbs.

 

1 to post "Beer!"

ROFL!!

 

 

Don't forget:

 

3 to complain that the new light bulb is invalid.

 

5 to declare that anyone who used the old light bulb is schismatic.

 

7 to call both light bulbs illicit. 

 

2 to claim that if light bulbs weren't written about they are irrelevant.

 

2 more to argue that the light bulbs didn't need to be written about.

 

And of course a multitude who clamor that the light bulb hasn't changed, its spirit has!

 

 

[Marty]

Which light bulb fitting is more Traditional?

The screw in....or the bayonet?

 

I think the Bayonet would be more Trad because of what it looks like. There is defiantly a more 'Catholic' feeling toward the bayonet fitting light bulb because it can look like a cross and the satisfaction one gets when one feels it click into place.

A screw fitting is defiantly the Vatican II style of things with its easiness to just screw up....

So we'll call the bayonet style the "Pius12 Light bulb", and the screw type the "John23/Paul6 Light bulb"...JohnPaul for short. 

 

Then there are those who don't believe there has been any decent light from these wrangled JohnPaul screw up type bulbs since their invention, and have a house full of these bayonet fittings but can't buy them because all the major shopping centers only stock the JohnPaul screw up type bulb.

But that is a situation reserved for the wild west part of this forum.

 

beer

 

 

[Daniel]

A Priest and a rabbi are driving along and have a colision.

 

Priest: I'm sorry about that I didn't see you.

Rabbi: No worries, Father, it was just as much my fault.

Priest: That's very kind of you.

Rabbi: You look a bit shaken Father, I have a bottle of scotch in the car, would you like a drop?

Priest: Thankyou, that would be very nice.

 

The rabbi gets the bottle out of the car and pours the Priest a big glass. As the Priest is drinking it the rabbi puts the lid back on and puts it back in the car.

 

Priest: Aren't you going to have any? You must be feeling a bit shaken aswell.
Rabbi: That's OK, Father, I'll just wait till the Police get here.

[Daniel]

Every morning this old Catholic woman walks outside on to the veranda and yells out, "Praise The Lord" and every morning just before she walks back inside the old bloke next door yells out, "There is no Lord".

 

The old bloke buys a big basket of groceries and leaves it on the veranda one night. The next morning the old lady comes out and yells, "Praise the Lord, you've bought me a basket of groceries". She turns to the house next door and yells out, "There! I told you there is a God".

 

But the old bloke next door is hiding behind a tree in the lady's front yard. He jumps out in to the open and says, "I told you there is no God. I bought those groceries". The old lady looks skyward and exclaims, "Lord not only did you send me these groceries, you made the devil pay for them, Paise the Lord".