This will make no sense to anyone who wasn't in the chat room late last night/early this AM, U.S. time, so whatever:
I am happy to report that Marta successfully dispatched with the Killerpede at approximately 0245 hrs. To repeat: the Killerpede is no more, and all is right with the world.
After an exciting and tense hunt which found the creature (the bug, not Marta) moving at Mach3 on its thousand legs -- hiding behind boxes and stacks of books, mocking us by appearing and then running off once more, sending security alerts up and down from Yellow to Orange to Red and back again -- the Queen of all Felines got serious and took care of business like the true professional she is.
Lessons learned:
Equipment: A million legs are no match for 8 needle-fingers and 2 needle dew claws. The killerpede's only strategic asset was speed, but it proved no match for the stealth, determination, and patience that characterize the Cat Nature.
Cat-Human Coordination: Interrupting the cat by saying things like "Get it, Marta" only distracts the cat from its plan; human must show the same patience as the cat and trust that the cat will rely on its training and do what needs to be done. The same applies to trying to help the cat by moving things to uncover Killerpede spider-holes; such tactics only make the cat "skittenish."
Recommendations: In a cat vs. killerpede confrontation, human should drink a gin and soda with lemon to preserve readiness vis a vis "nerve" for those rare times human assets are needed, and should otherwise focus on supply for feline combat troops, esp. Friskies Chicken in Gravy MREs and tinned Hostess Cherry Pies. These boost morale and keep the cat willing to fight.
Citations: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action above and beyond the call of duty, Marta should get a Medal of Honor. To keep her from becoming "uppity," she should wear this Medal on a collar with a bell on it.
