Holding hands during the Our Father

[BobR]

I was brought up in Western Pennsylvania. When I got married and moved south I noticed that people hold hands during Mass when the Our Father is said then raise them higher for the last part of the prayer. We never did this in my old Parish and they still don't. Is this something that is common? I am in the military and parishioners hold hands. I just don't feel right holding hands. So I simply I fold my hands and lower my head in reverence. What is proper? To tell you the truth there is a lot I don't feel comfortable with. I once attended a funeral at a Russian Orthodox Church and I felt more comfortable. In fact the mass was beautiful.

[Paul]

When I got married and moved south I noticed that people hold hands during Mass when the Our Father is said then raise them higher for the last part of the prayer.

Both are common at NO Masses; neither is proper. Hand-holding is inappropriate for the liturgy, and the raising of the hands is a gesture proper to the priest and not the laity. Even the Vatican has said this, but nobody listens.

 

So I simply I fold my hands and lower my head in reverence.

 

That's also what I do, except I'm usually holding my missal and praying everything quietly in Latin.

[CaroleK]

Bob,
 
  This is increasingly common in the vast majority of "typical" Catholic parishes using the Novus Ordo.
 
  Is it proper?  That's a loaded question and the answer you receive  will depend a lot on who you ask.  In the most technical sense in  a Novus Ordo parish is not not improper as this is a posture that is  neither specifically allowed or denied to the laity.  So the  practice continues unabated, and in some cases encouraged by the clergy  (yes, I have heard on priest and heard of others who encourage the  laity to hold hands).
 
  Now in the larger sense - this is a horrid practice that arose from the  so-called Charismatic movement.  It is not theologically  sound - in fact theolgically it is a very dangerous thing, in my  opinion.
 
  The idea is that we are 'showing unity' in prayer.  The problem is  that even in the Novus Ordo (will all of its deficiencies as a liturgy)  there is are proper places for a "show of unity".  Those places  are the recitation of the Creed where we show unity by professing a  common Creed and during the Eucharist where we again show our unity in  Christ by receiving His Body and Blood.
 
  There is no need for this "show of unity" during the Our Father. 
 
  Further, in my opinion, this hand holding nonsense places the emphasis  on the person next to us and reaching out to them (in friendship or  solidarity or somethng) instead of focusing our prayer on Him.
 
  As for the laity assuming the orans position during the Mass - this is  not supposed to be done, even in the Novus Ordo.  Though the  General Instruction of the Roman Missal is woefully vague and weak in  addressing this.
 
  You will hear, depending on who is answering, opinions ranging from  (bear in mind these are the radical extremes of opinion) "holding hands  is a wonderful thing and you're awful to even think of questioning it"  to "this is another example of why the NO is invalid/illicit/a sin to  attend". 
 
  The most important thing to remmber ...
 
  If you don't like doing it you do not have to do it.  No matter  who tells you otherwise.  And there will be people (including  sadly priests, nuns and RCIA instructors, catechists and directors of  religious education) who will tell you that you "must" or "have to"  hold hands during the Our Father.  That is pure rubbish.  It  is neither required nor disallowed (though it is not encouraged) by the  Holy See. 
 
  You may have to defend your folded hands from the prying hands of  others and endure scornful looks by those who feel slighted - but you  do not ever have to hold hands with anyone.
 
 

[Clare]

Something else I gather people do during the Our Father is hold their hand out in the "Orans position", I think it's called.

 

Not my scene!

 

Clare.

[Paul]

Something else I gather people do during the Our Father is hold their hand out in the "Orans position", I think it's called.

That's the posture he was referring to, where they hold their hands up and either in front of them or slightly to the side. That's the appropriate gesture for the priest at this point, but the laity shouldn't be imitating him.

If we turned the priest around like he should be, the people wouldn't be as likely to do such silliness.

[aquinas138]

Yep, this is done by many in every NO parish I've visited, except for one in Connecticut - I didn't really notice.  But in Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina and Virginia, it's pretty common.  I'm a head-bower/hand-folder, myself.  I don't like the hand-holding, but it's more tolerable than adopting the priestly gestures.

Another gripe of mine is the gesticulations people make when saying "And also with you."  You know, the moving from the orans to pointing their open-palmed hands back at the priest.  Ugh.  And yet I'm alone in bowing the head at the Lord's name and bowing at the mention of the Lord's Incarnation during the Creed.

[MikeSearson]

It's big in the People's Republick of Kahlefornistan and in the Free State of Nevada as well.

 

I can't stand it.

[KevinM]

Yep, this is done by many in every NO parish I've visited, except for one in Connecticut - 

 

Aquinas 138,

Was that by any chance in Stamford Ct?

 

Kevin

[BobR]

Thanks for all the great comments. I don't feel alone anymore. Some of the other things I've started to notice since I have become more and more interested in traditionalism: the lack of genuflection when entering the pew, talking out loud before and after Mass. I'm planning on attending Christmas Mas in a near by German town. Maybe I'll see a difference there.

Thank you everyone and have a wonderful Christmas

[GrumpyTroll]

I remember that bothering me at the first Mass that I attended after returning to the Church, a “youth Mass”.