miss_fluffy,
No, your sarcasm didnt come through, but I appreciate your taking the time to bring it to my attention.
I am sorry that my statements make you 'feel' a certain way. I have a tendency to generalise, perhaps overly so; yet, I dont think that necessarily negates my statements.
Oftentimes, people will cite a rule... then quickly point out the exceptions: as if the exceptions somehow disprove the rule. They dont.
That said, if you think that I am insinuating that single women with careers somehow dont belong in a traditional Catholic group, that is not necessarily the case. In my opinion, the matter boils down to one of Intent. What does the individual intend to do?
We all know (or should know) what traditional Catholic teachings and expectations are. They represent Ideals. Some of them (such as a stable, married family life) are, due to no fault of one's own, simply unattainable for some people. That does not, however, invalidate them as Ideals.
So, does a woman intend to remain unmarried in order to pursue a career? Or is she pursuing a career in the hopes of finding a suitable husband? In my understanding of the Faith, the former is not a Catholic way of thinking. The latter might be, depending upon a few things such as the career chosen, etc.
Now, the simple fact of the matter is that men and women are not equals. Woman was made from Man, not vice versa. Women are enjoined (by St. Paul, among others) to obey their husbands:
"Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things."
--St. Paul, Eph. V:22-24
Indeed, God the Father Himself stated:
"I will multiply thy sorrows, and thy conceptions: in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children, and thou shalt be under thy husband's power, and he shall have dominion over thee."
--Genesis III:16
So, if you dont like the hierarchy between the sexes, your argument is not with me. It is with God, the Church, and the Faith.
That is not to say that I believe that husbands should beat their wives. Again, St. Paul:
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it"
--St. Paul, Eph. V:25
And:
"So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself."
--St. Paul, Eph. V:28
No rational man harms himself. Therefore, no faithful Catholic man harms his wife. (Generally speaking. I'm not considering an exceptional case such as if a wife were to pull a knife or a gun on her husband and he defended himself, harming her in the process.)
I am sorry to learn that you are single at 32 and that you have had to fend for yourself. My observation of people who are single in their 30s leads me to believe that there is a reason why that is the case. Accepting Modernism and its derivatives is the biggest reason I've noticed. Perhaps you are an exception and you're just a good person who has simply not had the opportunity to marry. (Or pursue a religious vocation.)
I wasnt raised by Catholic parents, either. I had to learn everything 'the hard way', so to speak. I have made many mistakes along the way. I havent led a picture-perfect Catholic life.
But, I do recognise what Catholic tradition is, and what Catholic ideals are, and I dont pretend otherwise. I recognise my own failings in the Faith (and in other aspects as well) and I constantly seek to improve myself in those areas.
Sometimes I succeed. Many times I fail. Human nature is tough to work against. That's not an excuse. It is a reason.
'We have to welcome all into God's church, despite their circumstances, and despite any sinful past.'
Amen to that.
'While I agree with you that there is an ideal Catholic family, an ideal Catholic community, and ideal standards that should be followed. In the complete absence of that we still must practice charity, and welcome people into the arms of the Church.'
And of course I do. However, the (traditional Catholic) Church has standards of behaviour and decorum that must be adhered to if one wishes to participate therein. They arent terribly difficult, but if they arent adhered to, then there is no point to having them in the first place. We might as well all just 'do our own thing, man', which is the essence of Modernism.
'And no, I'm not talking about pants here. But I'm talking about the tendency to be judgemental to those who don't live ideal Catholic lives.'
No one is a harsher critic of myself than am I. (Just ask Mrs. Gilbert!) I do not live an ideal Catholic life: I freely admit that fact. I got a late start, but I am trying to work towards that ideal. We both are.
I dont go to Mass every Sunday. (Mostly because of the distance; sometimes because I am just plain, flat-out exhausted from the week, which includes Saturdays.) Sometimes I engage in servile work on Sunday because it has to get done. I've screwed up sometimes and have eaten flesh meat on Fridays. The list of my offences is long and is nothing of which I am proud.
So, I'm not 'judging' anyone... in the sense that my opinion has anything to do with the disposition of their souls when they are truly judged by Our Lord. All I am doing -- harshly, perhaps -- is conveying what I know to be Catholic tradition.
'Those women who perhaps may be in the habit of wearing pants, and have a hard time giving it up to go to church. I agree that they should, but thank goodness it's not your job to correct them.'
It is not my job to correct anyone. I cannot physically make all Catholic women wear modest clothing; I cannot physically make all Catholic men treat their wives as they would themselves. I cannot physically make all Catholic children obey and honour their parents.
The only thing I can do is share what I have learned to be traditional Catholic teaching and hope others listen.
There are millions of ways to rationalise to oneself why one shouldnt or 'doesnt have to' do something. There is only one correct reason why one should do something.
In the case of women giving up the wearing of pants, that is something that is definitely within one's control. It simply takes an act of will. Instead of buying pants, you buy a dress or a skirt. How hard can it be?
There are obviously things that arent completely within one's control. Such as whether or not one finds a husband. Or whether or not one finds the 'perfect' job that allows one to take care of one's family. Or whether or not one can find a traditional Mass within a reasonable driving distance. One cannot be faulted for things beyond one's control. God doesnt demand the impossible.
But, one must ask oneself if such things are truly impossible, or merely require 'too much' effort to accomplish. That's nothing I can answer for you or anyone else.
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Well, enough for now. Have a nice weekend and Happy Epiphany!
