Toys R U. S.?

[Marilene]

Once, my younger children had some friends over, siblings, and after about 45 minutes of playing in the basement [carpeted, with toys, tv etc.] they came up and plopped down on the family room couch and just, well, did nothing!  Apparently they expected me to entertain them in some way because later, when I asked my daughter what happened, she said that so-and-so's mother played with them the entire time she had visited at so-and-so's house.  Also, these children had so many toys in the basement that they never ran out of stuff to do.  On the other hand, at our house, we didn't have many toys, and I [mom] didn't play with them.   The other day I asked my high-school age son why he didn't ask his friends over more often, since he often gets asked over to their houses.  He said we don't have enough new games [computer/video etc.] so there would be nothing to do here at our house.   Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but....I remember when I was a kid that my friends and I would IMAGINE our play, and not depend on toys, or on Mommy, to provide entertainment.  I had a beat up [beloved] baby doll and so did my best friend, but everything else was in our mind, and it was hours of fun.  When a teen, like my son, the fun was in just hanging out together and talking, or going places on our own we had not been able to when younger [downtown on the subway, walking around the park etc.].
Even homeschooling my children apparently has not inoculated them against this dependency on electronic entertainment, although honestly they are not as bad as their friends.  I am amazed at the quantity of toys kids seem to have when I visit other homes.  Their rooms are crammed with them, their basements loaded with all their childhood toys, plus stacks of video games and all the latest systems.  These are not rich people.  Is this the norm in the U.S.?  To buy toys toys toys for the kids? I grew up overseas and remember kids getting one or two big presents for Christmas, and a couple of little ones.  Me too, one or two big [or greatly desired] ones, and 3-4 basically ... unwanted stuff [educational book, a puzzle, etc].  Even if my kid are able to live without toys, their friends apparently are not.  Thoughts?

[Johanna]

I noticed this even when I was a child (in the 80's and early 90's).  My friends would have basements crammed with stuff, a lot of which they didn't actually play with. Even all the toys my brother and I owned easily fit in the closet and shelves of the room we shared.  I remember too, that some of the best times we had were playing  imaginary games together, and it seemed that even our  least imaginative friends caught on to it before too long.  But perhaps the problem is worse now.

[newtolatin]

We don't buy the children much, but, oh boy, does my mother ever! Luckily, they are not video games or anything like that, more like upscale building things and stuffed animals... but we are still overwhelmed. Hopefully not for long, tho.

[dailyrosary]

There is an awesome book out there, Kitchen Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley.  It should be sub-titled How To Have An Immaculate Spotless House At All Times Without Having To Do The Work.  She has a system and it works like a charm.

Anyway, one of her credos is that no child should have more toys than they can put away in 15 minutes.  And no fair storing crap in the cellar or attic, either.  The kids don't play with the extra stuff anyway.

I've stuck by this rule, and it's a gem.

[AdoramusTeChriste]

I don't think kids need tons of toys, either. My 3 littlest guys (the elbow lickers) are all playing Little League this summer and they love it. We have a large front yard with lots of trees and they are out there first thing in the morning playing suitable-for-three variations of the game and they play all day long on nice days. Their coaches are amazed at the progress they made this season, but they are just being boys.

[VoxClamantis]

I'm a big believer in giving kids things they can use their imaginations with as opposed to giving them too much pre-made entertainment (some is good because it is fun and it teaches them ways to make their own. For ex., watching a great movie can give them ideas as to how to make their own movies, and seeing great works of art can do the same with regard to painting or sculpture or what not). Depending on the kid's individual interests, I like the idea of his having paper, pastels, paints, clay, legos, wood, carpentry tools, laboratory equipment and science kits for children, the stuff to make bat houses and bird houses, gardening tools, ant farms, boxes of things to make costumes so he can write and direct and put on plays, cameras so he can make his own movies, tape recorders to make radio shows, musical instruments, sports stuff, fabrics and sewing stuff, etc., etc. --- and books (and books and books!) to teach him how to use these things and inspire him to do so in the first place. And I'd throw in great board games that encourage thinking and interaction and just fun.