Women and marriage (moved from the other thread)

[teddyruxpin]

If I hit reply with quote, it posts the reply in the *other* thread. If I hit only 'reply', it posts in here. FYI.

Weird, it's inconsistent, replying with quote to Mommie2boys posts in here, but *every* time I reply with quote to Erin, it goes over there! :huh?:

[teddyruxpin]

when it boils down to it they say "big b**bs." That is just one more of the 12,345,678.09 double standards/idiotic sentiments that float around trad circles today. *sigh* I think women these days might just join convents because this type of men are all that is to be had.

Nah, I like glasses! But very much like my point in here, just because I'm an exception doesn't mean that you're not right about 99% of the time! I have male friends, who ostensibly want a nice Catholic girl, but that's not what I see them date. I see them date 'hot,' whether buddhists, agnostics, whatever.

(except for my wonderful husband of course, I found a good one)

Like good wives, they exist, but as you well know with your husband, are a treasure due to their rarity.

[Cupertino]

I think that we should treat all women as deserving of respect.  The first law in Catholicism is the law of Charity.  Part of that is practicing chivalry. And how about simple common courtesy? Many of these women simply don't understand what a wonderful gift God has given them in their femininity.  How would they understand, given the establishment and media assault on their gender for all these many years?

I consider this similar to showing respect for priests, even those who don't respect their priesthood. Even if the person is a cad, Christ acts through the priest and we should respect him for Christ's sake. In the same way, disrespect toward women who do not act ladylike will not get them to appreciate their femininity any better, but perhaps showing a bit of respect toward them will at least give them something to think about.

[ErinIsNice]

If I hit reply with quote, it posts the reply in the *other* thread. If I hit only 'reply', it posts in here. FYI.

Weird, it's inconsistent, replying with quote to Mommie2boys posts in here, but *every* time I reply with quote to Erin, it goes over there! :huh?:

It's a conspiracy against me.

[teddyruxpin]

 but perhaps showing a bit of respect toward them will at least give them something to think about.

I appreciate your point, and I think you really feel that way, and believe me, I'm thinking about what you're saying. However, I can help but think that showing respect doesn't give them pause about how they're dressing/behaving at all, it just makes such a woman feel that she is indeed looking and behaving like a lady. I have thought a lot on this, and I'm not sure I'm totally right, but I tentatively (pending a better idea) feel like the consensus of society that women deserve to be treated like ladies regardless of whether they are is in the exact same vein as treating men like men when they too, are acting like wussies... Know what I'm saying?

[ErinIsNice]

but perhaps showing a bit of respect toward them will at least give them something to think about.

I appreciate your point, and I think you really feel that way, and believe me, I'm thinking about what you're saying. However, I can help but think that showing respect doesn't give them pause about how they're dressing/behaving at all, it just makes such a woman feel that she is indeed looking and behaving like a lady. I have thought a lot on this, and I'm not sure I'm totally right, but I tentatively (pending a better idea) feel like the consensus of society that women deserve to be treated like ladies regardless of whether they are is in the exact same vein as treating men like men when they too, are acting like wussies... Know what I'm saying?

But is it your place to "give them pause", or should you be concentrating on removing the beam from your own eye?

When you are rude it doesn't teach the other person a lesson, it just reflects badly on you.

[teddyruxpin]

but perhaps showing a bit of respect toward them will at least give them something to think about.

I appreciate your point, and I think you really feel that way, and believe me, I'm thinking about what you're saying. However, I can help but think that showing respect doesn't give them pause about how they're dressing/behaving at all, it just makes such a woman feel that she is indeed looking and behaving like a lady. I have thought a lot on this, and I'm not sure I'm totally right, but I tentatively (pending a better idea) feel like the consensus of society that women deserve to be treated like ladies regardless of whether they are is in the exact same vein as treating men like men when they too, are acting like wussies... Know what I'm saying?

But is it your place to "give them pause", or should you be concentrating on removing the beam from your own eye?

When you are rude it doesn't teach the other person a lesson, it just reflects badly on you.

I don't dress immoderately, and I'm totally tired of the Christian focus on 'remove the beam' from my eye whilst ignoring that I'm also my brother's (sister's) keeper!

We are allowed to, and can and should give reproof.

[Catholicmilkman]

I don't dress immoderately, and I'm totally tired of the Christian focus on 'remove the beam' from my eye whilst ignoring that I'm also my brother's (sister's) keeper!

We are allowed to, and can and should give reproof.

True enough, teddy, but rudeness and unkindness are excluded from that great work of mercy. As well prudence must be had, for you cannot rebuke an equal when you pretty much know that it won't be accepted by them, doing their souls no good but possibly harm.

[teddyruxpin]

I don't dress immoderately, and I'm totally tired of the Christian focus on 'remove the beam' from my eye whilst ignoring that I'm also my brother's (sister's) keeper!

We are allowed to, and can and should give reproof.

True enough, teddy, but rudeness and unkindness are excluded from that great work of mercy. As well prudence must be had, for you cannot rebuke an equal when you pretty much know that it won't be accepted by them, doing their souls no good but possibly harm.

Well how does any of us know this? That a) it won't be accepted by them, and b) it'll do them no good? In my view, our tacit acceptance, by not decrying immoderate dress (and plenty of other stuff of course) has led to the increase, in fact, normalization, of that kind of conduct. Perhaps, if more people would rebuke such garb, just like people used to frown on divorce (*ahem*) it would decrease.
Seem like you're all just assuming it won't work-- people have had enough loving unconditional acceptance, and look where it's gotten us...

[Tinuviel]

A lot of the women who dress immodestly today probably haven't given the issue any thought. They haven't  been taught better, our culture certainly doesn't help them here either. And you're right that normalization of this kind of dress or behaviour is a problem.

BUT... reproving someone usually doesn't work that well unless you either know them or are in a position of authority. Setting a good example of modesty and Christian charity is usually your best bet in coffee shop situations with strangers.

I know you meant well, but the woman was probably hurt and confused to receive a comment like that from a total stranger without explanation, follow-up, or evidence that you actually care about her as a person. This is especially true if she hasn't really been taught anything about proper dress in the first place. You intention of righting a wrong is good, but I would wager that she didn't understand why she received a reproof like that from you.

just my $0.02......