anger...

[Tinuviel]

Are anger or frustration ever appropriate? I know that anger is a sin, but sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between normal emotions and a sinful act of the will. It seems like there must be some distinction between the two since sin is always an act of the will...

For instance, I'm a convert from a Baptist family and I'm spending my first summer off college at home. So... you can imagine that there are situations with my parents that are really frustrating for me sometimes. But I try not to let my attitude get away with me, and as upset as I feel sometimes I know my parents are doing their best. But I still go on long walks and vent to myself or call my best friend about it...

I also discuss the faith with Baptists from time to time and have to read Nietzsche for classes. These things also result in a great deal of frustration, but it's more for the ideas than for the people presenting them.

Eh.. I don't know. This never used to be a question for me because I hardly ever had reasons to be upset... not to mention the fact that I hardly ever thought about the fact that anger is a sin anyway!

Just wondering what you all think on this.

[miss_fluffy]

It is not a sin just to feel anger, but to act on it can be a problem.  Any action you take while angry usually only serves to make someone else feel bad as well.  There's no problem with stating that you are angry, saying why, perhaps asking for help, or attempting to reconcile.

If you need to walk away to calm down, it's good to just say something like, I have to go calm down, I'll be back...

This is not to say that some actions that have anger as a component are always sinful.  Say, if someone hits your wife, and you rush to protect her, perhaps striking the fellow down.  That is a protective act, and virtuous, even though you may be very angry.

Now saying all of this, I have to tell you that no one is perfect.  Angry habits are difficult to overcome, and if you are in doubt you should definitely bring it up with your confessor.  I have many times done things in anger that served to make people feel bad, and later realized that I should have tried to cool down first.

[Kal]

It can be very hard in this world being Catholic. My family is protestant and we have similar disagreements. Not about faith, but different ways of life. At university yes the ideas there are crazy. Doing Sociology and Social Work I did papers from the French revolution to postmodernism covering Lacan, Marx, Weber etc. The whole bunch of them. It is a cross and getting angry is fine if it drives you to read between the lines. That is you see the errors, but you do what you have to, to pass. Yet anger that makes you loose control is no good. I know, trust me. You have anti Catholic ideas and ways of life being lectured at University, Work, T.V, friends and when you get home your family is no different. But patience and humility are great in persevering against the world. May God help you to carry your cross and do not give up

[Tinuviel]

I don't usually act on anger.. I just feel angry sometimes. Or frustrated is what it usually is. There are some definite kinks in my relationship with my parents these days, even though, like I said, they're trying their best.

Usually bad philosophy or illogical Protestantism sets me on philosophical rants to my Catholic friends, God bless them. LOL

I was kind of worried about this, thinking "holy smokes, keeping myself from ACTING on anger is no big deal, but how on earth am I supposed to keep myself from just plain feeling angry when certain things happen?"

Thanks for the responses so far!

[PaxVobiscum]

Anger is the most difficult sin for me to avoid.  I will tell you some things that have helped me, but I have yet to overcome this sin.  I think everyone has one sin that is particularly difficult for them to avoid, some have more than one.

I'm sure your parents are not pleased that you've become Catholic, unless they're very unusual Baptists.  If you imagine yourself as a parent sending your Catholic son or daughter off to college and having him or her return home as a Mormon, that might help you understand their feelings and make it easier to bear whatever discord there is between you.

You don't have to let them lay guilt trips on you, though, if that is what they are trying to do. The same goes for your Baptist friends.  As for Nietzsche, do the reading and try to be as objective as you can, just analyze what he's saying, understand his arguments.  Your professor wants you to learn about an important philosopher but does not expect you to accept what Nietzsche says.  It would be helpful to read this article "The Psychology of Atheism"

http://www.leaderu.com/truth/1truth12.html

You'll learn a lot about Nietzsche, Freud, and other well-known atheists and have an answer for those who stereotype people who are religious as "dumb."  I can't remember if I got that link here or not but it's really a helpful article for Catholics
and other believers who have to deal with atheists and their insults.

More ideas for overcoming anger:

We're supposed to pray for our enemies and anyone who angers us.  If you do that, it helps, though not immediately.  Keep praying for better relationships with anyone you're angry with, and pray for their souls.  There are (or will be) some people in your life you will never have a good relationship with, but you can still pray for their souls.

Anger makes you suffer so offer your suffering up in union with Christ's salvific suffering, for the poor souls in Purgatory.  

Ask Jesus and Mary and all the saints to help you get rid of your anger.

Confess your anger and receive absolution.  When you do your penance, pray for the grace to resist anger.


I just had EWTN on to see the news report from Rome and saw Mother Angelica saying:

"It's an insult to God when you think your sins are greater than His Mercy."

I think that's quite appropriate to your situation, and probably most of our situations.  And don't forget that Jesus got angry!

[Deidre]

Are anger or frustration ever appropriate?

What about "righteous anger"? I went to Confession once, (quite a while ago) and the priest mentioned this. Can someone elaborate on the topic?

[NathanSoc]

As St. Thomas Aquinas notes, vice may be by defect, as well as excess. So, the presence of evil should provoke a righteous anger, which if absent constitutes a sinful insensibility. Consider the just anger of the Lord to the presence in the Temple of the money-changers and the action.

[viking]

I am currently reading "The hidden power of kindness"

Written by Father Lovaski

It is a really good book, and helps you to handle among other things, anger, and how to deal with it