Fr. Francis Mary leaves to discern vocation

[JesusFreak84]

The MFVAs probably encounter more people by virtue of their involvement with EWTN than normal monastics would.  At least, that's my theory on that specific question.

[PaxVobiscum]

Discern? How long do these priests need to discern? If I decided to take some time away from my wife and kids to "discern" my vocation, I seriously doubt all these bleeding hearts would have the same amount of sympathy for me as they do for Fr. Stone abandoning the vocation he has already discerned, chosen and to which he is now committed.

I have to agree with you.  By the time a man is ordained a priest, he has spent years in formation, funded by the faithful.  He has an obligation to be faithful to his vows.

Those of us who choose marriage as our vocation don't spend years in formation, rarely have any training for it, but we also have an obligation to be faithful to our vows.  

When a priest becomes involved with a woman, he is breaking his vow to God and abandoning his family, the Catholic faithful.  It's a form of adultery since he promised himself to God forever.

In this case, the priest was ministering specifically to young Catholics and it is tragic for them that he has been so foolish.  

Every Catholic should know to avoid possible occasions of sin and a man who is married or is a priest and is helping a widow or divorcee or any woman with her problems is putting himself in a position where he and she can too easily become intimate emotionally and then physically.  

Just as some women look upon it as a challenge to seduce a married man and break up his marriage, as proof of their power and attractiveness, there are women who set out to seduce priests as proof of their power and attractiveness.  This may not be the case here but it is certainly something that occurs and that all priests, and married men, should be aware of, along with knowing not to spend too much time alone with a woman, even if her kids are in the house.

Helping a young widow with a family is a charitable act, but a married man or priest must avoid occasions of sin.  If the widow needs help moving to a new home or needs the lawn mowed or some other chore, a man should take his wife along or, if he's a priest, take another priest along.  If a woman needs counseling, at the first hint of attraction a priest feels, he should refer her to someone else, without telling her that he is attracted to her.

I suppose the upside is that his show may be discontinued and we'll see more of Archbishop Sheen, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, good specials on the saints, etc.

[Dewi]

Again, without insinuating any blame or accusing anyone of breaking vows...

 

I don't understand this.  If I were to tell my wife that I was going to take some time off from her and my family in order to discern my marriage due to getting close to another woman and her family, a widow whom I was helping, would you be hesitant to accuse me of breaking my marriage vows??  OF COURSE NOT!  In fact, you ought to call me a pig!!

 

Why are we holding this priest to a different standard?  This double standard is one of the reasons why we have so many men breaking the promises they made at their deaconate ordinations.  Calling this man to account is not being "judgemental".  It is called fraternal correction.

 

Write to EWTN and the friars and let them know you do not approve of how they are handling themselves in public.  Write to Fr. Stone in care of EWTN and tell him to get his butt in gear!

 

 

An aside.  I loved this comment from someone on another forum.  He brings up some good points, albeit in a rather blunt manner.

 

i put most of the blame on the woman. a priest, as a man who's attracted sexually to women, has a difficult road ahead of him. for a women to cooperate in building a romantic relationship is out right evil.

what is he thinking?

they do play lame music on life on the rock. i blame that and the charismatic movement. all that touchy feely garbage that turns men into wimps. i see too much of it on ewtn as good as it is.

[JesusFreak84]

You do not have PROOF that his vows were broken.  Yeah, the possibility is there, but unless you are the man's confessor, you can't say.

[Sonoman]

I noticed that they were having some of the lamest and most painfully introverted brothers hosting in Father's place, I was wondering what was up and I guess now we know.

I do agree that he should do his "discernment" as far away from this widow as possible. Preferably in a monastery without phone or Internet - maybe with monthly mail service might not be a bad idea to boot.

[loggats]

You do not have PROOF that his vows were broken.  Yeah, the possibility is there, but unless you are the man's confessor, you can't say.

He has a point though. Priestly vows are just as binding (if not more so) as marriage vows. 'Falling out of love' with God is a terrible thing to have to admit to, whatever life he can imagine himself leading with the widow. It must be difficult, but to be honest, I hadn't thought of it along those lines... I suppose I was guilty of not taking his vows as seriously as he should have. Hopefully things will work out for the best.

[StrictCatholicGirl]

Again, without insinuating any blame or accusing anyone of breaking vows...

 

I don't understand this.  If I were to tell my wife that I was going to take some time off from her and my family in order to discern my marriage due to getting close to another woman and her family, a widow whom I was helping, would you be hesitant to accuse me of breaking my marriage vows??  OF COURSE NOT!  In fact, you ought to call me a pig!!

 

Why are we holding this priest to a different standard? 

 

I am not holding the priest to a different standard, and I made that statement because of a remark I made earlier, that I have since deleted, which left speculation regarding what "helping" a widow meant. I didn't want to imply that the Father had broken his vows of celibacy and I still don't. All we can do is take his words at face value.. He is leaving EWTN (he didn't say for sure he was leaving the priesthood) and he is "taking time off" to "discern" his future. We don't know how much time or where he is going, but I also hope it's as far away from the widow as possible. 

 

- Lisa

[Archbishop_10K]

I think one can read too much into his words. Perhaps he's doing precisely what you're suggesting: going on a monastic retreat to regain his perspective on things.

That being said, "unto whomsoever much is given, of him much shall be required: and to whom they have committed much, of him they will demand the more." (Luke 12:48)

Seeing this story makes me really glad I'm not a priest. I have a hard enough time keeping account of myself as it is. If I were made a priest, there's no telling how much trouble I'd cause.

[Dewi]

You do not have PROOF that his vows were broken.

Please refer to the letter composed by Fr. Stone, himself, and irresponsibly read on air, thus scandalizing, I hope only a dozen youths, but, sadly, probably more.

I mean, really, what more do you need? Please stop coddling him. He's a grown man who must take responsibility, not just for his present actions and decisions, but for the ones he has already made, like the decision to become a priest. I'm taking his words at face value, and objectively his words demonstrate immaturity, selfishness, hypocricy,disregard for the priesthood and priestly celibacy, and a certian lack of concern in regards to giving scandal.

We don't have to read anything into Fr. Stone's letter. It really is rather clear. Look at it like this: If it was just a matter of discernment (which is silly anyway as he had plenty of time for dicernment prior to ordination, but, regardless, let's take his words at face value), why mention the widow at all? Why mention growing close to the widow? Why air this dirty laundry (or at least what will no doubt be perceived as dirty laundry) on national television? Why mention the widow when your primary audience is young people?

Fr. Anthony Mary even mentions "evil and sin do not have the final word" after they cut back from a "commercial break" (a plug for the priesthood).  Obviously, Fr. Anthony Mary was reading the same something that I'm reading.

It's inexcusable. This is about, first of all, the salvation of souls, then, secondarily, the dignity of the priesthood, the integrity of the evangelical councils, and, lastly, the reputation of EWTN, the most prominent independent Catholic voice in the country. Fr. Stone, along with EWTN, needs to take responsibility for the missteps taken. Leaving it at this statement gives cause for speculation. If Stone is doing the right thing then why is EWTN now doing a Darren Stevens on him?

Good gracious! Did we learn anything in 2002?

Lisa, sorry, I do understand where you are coming from. You are a good person. As loggats observed, I just want to make clear that we need to treat this for what it is: infidelity.

[NathanSoc]

I applaud his honesty, but having gone public with this, it's hard to see how he could now not leave the priesthood. Sure, priests can be tempted, but It's just a shame that what is called a vocation nowadays is tied up with politically correct politics, so one has to wonder about the "soundness" of the recruits.

I always understood a vocation to be something that if you had one, you knew it because it would always remain with you even if you chose to ignore it. In other words, it is something you can't get away from even if you sincerely want to. Not something you can leave. And certainly not some sort of "career choice" you resign from. It is intrinsically part of who you are. Alternatively you can't create a vocation, no matter how much you may want one.

I'm sure we've all met priests whom we recognise instinctively as having a vocation. You instinctively know they could walk into a room full of widows and not be tempted in the least.