donumabdeo, I sincerely wish you the best of luck. Perhaps your personality and temperament would make you best suited to a largely subservient, passive and silent wife. If that's the case, and if marriage is your vocation, then I hope and pray that you find such a wife and that the two of you live happily together and have many children. Quite frankly, not all men are the same - some are very assertive and independent, whilst others are more passive and dependent.
As for me, I'm not particularly assertive, so while I appreciate the leadership role of the husband, I'm more likely than not to rely on the advice and encouragement of my wife to help me fulfill that role. In that sense, I hope that my future wife (if God wills it) will have an intellect and be prepared to use it in the support of her husband and the raising and education of our children.
There are some women that are submissive until they are married, and vice versa.
I find it strange, though, that someone would prefer someone who was not very intelligent, as if the lack of intelligence somehow often precluded submissiveness. That is false, big time! The Blessed Mother was/is very intelligent, recollected and constantly pondering the greatest mysteries, which she herself took part in first-hand. Virtue is not sustained without prayer, and prayer is not sustained without at some point engaging the intellect. Even with contemplative prayer, where the intellect is not simultaneously engaged, it brings with it a fruit of recollection which engages the intellect. All and any truly good acts of grace must be preceded by prayer.
This isn't to draw a correlation between intelligence and prayer life, but rather the necessity for an active engagement of one's intellect in order to pray and to act in pleasing God. I am making this point because it would be wrong to seek someone who willfully chooses to not regard with gravity himself or herself in relation to God. Spiritual sloth
is always a vice manifested by someone who uses simply his or her mind to consider only the things of this world.
If someone can be attracted to such a primarily worldly-minded person (I would think) they would have to be quite spiritual immature. If we are looking at marriage in the context of pleasing first God, then those who are called to marriage would wish to find that mentality in their prospective spouse --- a willingness to first please God, and doing good to/for the spouse in order to achieve the first goal --- (which is to please God).
***Edited for clarity: "can be" substituted for "is always a vice"***
**Further edited for slight levity: Talented writes:
Your argument "not identical therefore not equal" utilizes a fatal misuse of terms.
What is that? Is that like: "I'm sorry, due to a semantical error on your part, I must issue corporal punishment."
"He was a good man. Too bad he suffered from a semantical disorder(a.k.a. "a fatal misuse of terms")."
