Rewarding banality

[BrendanD]

Keeping in mind that you're only paranoid if you're wrong I smell a rat...

This woman (milonoah) registers on 11/19 and offers us this:

This is a pretty harsh judgment. Maureen and Bill Hayes have dedicated their lives to church music.

Well, you, sorry,  I mean Maureen and Bill may have dedicated their lives to tapping a keyboard and singing grating little jingles but calling it "church music" is quite a bit of a stretch.

They have worked for years leading congregations in song and parishioners have been very happy with them

.

Facts not in evidence. How so you know that parishioners have been very happy with them?

They are tireless in their work to spread the Gospel through their music and while it may not be to your taste, to many others, it has been a great blessing.

More self congratulations.

Maureen is a superbly trained singer (if you listened long enough and heard her version of Shubert's "Ave Maria"), you'd know that.

Maureen's voice is shrill and the melodramatic facial gestures that accompany the "performance" make it even harder to bear...

They are loving, kind and generous people and if they could read what you're saying, they would be tremendously hurt.

They may be wonderful people - the salt of the earth (I have no way of knowing) but they have no talent. The drivel they represent as "liturgical music" would be rejected by Barney the dinosaur...

[Catholicdad]

When I first "reverted," having a "pleasant" voice to some, I was asked to join the parish "adult" choir (and later, the "cool ensemble" in which I also played recorder).  And thus began my introduction to the Church I had avoided for so many years (and soon thereafter, my departure to more "orthodox" realms and "problems" with the Choir Director/Director of Liturgy, a female converted Jehovah's Witness--who actually was an incredible pianist).

Anywhooo . . .

Having a somewhat extensive background in music as a youngster, I noted some things (I'll spare you all the entirety and just leave the three most memorable):

1.  The Cross of Love - this is essentially Ferde Grofe's Grand Canyon Suite melodically and especially rhythmically.  It conjured up images of me being in the fresh air and sunshine on the back of an ass--then I realized, **I** was the ass for taking away completely any contemplation of the CRUCIFIXION and it's meaning.  A "good" hymn shouldn't do that.

2.  I can't recall the name of the hymn, but it's essentially "Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning . . ." melodically and rhythmically.

3.  Finally, the one I still hear on rare occassions (it's very popular) but I don't know the name of the setting:

  "When we eat this bread, and we drink this cup, we proclaim your death Lord Jesus, until you come, until you come in GLO - O - REE  (wait for it, wait for it, wait . . . CHA CHA CHA)."
OMG, this is TERRIBLE, but amusing.  Who would set the Mystery of Faith to a Cha-Cha?

I won't even make mention of "Halle, Halle, Halle" or the romper room "Gloria (clap! clap!), Gloria (clap! clap!) In Excelsis DAY YO"--bleccccchhhhhh!

I will admit, I have always liked the Jazz Alleluia (St. Louis Jesuits?) alternatively entitled "Give the Glory."  Sorry, can't shake it, think it's "fine."  Some would argue it's profane. but I'd argue right back.

 - Dad