In response to your original post, I really think you should do one of two things: Either assume it's just a distraction the devil brings to you when you are trying to pray and forget about it (and resist it when it comes while you are praying) OR, if you find that you can't forget about it, then pick a priest you feel comfortable with, and tell him about it in Confession (so first confess some sins like you normally would, THEN say, "Father I have a question" or "Father, may I tell you something?" etc., then tell him all about it and let him tell you what to think of it). Since you are new to Catholicism, maybe no one told you this, but Confession isn't only for sins-it's also a time to ask questions and get advice (a.k.a. "spiritual direction").
And, please, don't beat yourself up and say "Oh, I'm a blasphemer" or, "oh I didn't really love Our Lord"- loving God can be confusing sometimes...that's what priests are for.
main questions:How much boldness is allowed in our relationship with Jesus? Can we make words of the saints our own?Or use the language of some great saints Like saint Bernard in our prayers?Should we wait until we are more holy or begin just now?
To answer the above-quoted question: YES! BOLDNESS IS GOOD!!
Yes, use the words of the saints if you feel inclined to. DON'T wait until you "are more holy" (with that standard, none of us would ever be able to tell Our Lord anything, haha). Our Lord WANTS us to speak plainly to Him.
Try doing this: When I go to church, and I'm praying to Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, I don't "pray", I more like "talk silently"...so I tell Our Lord everything that's going on in my life, and I ask Him if He's happy with how much I love Him or if there's anything He wants me to do differently, etc... I just speak to him silently like you would a friend. Our Lord is a King, so you do have to respect Him, but you can be honest and open and still respect Him. He told us Himself to be like little children and to come to Him. The more simple and trusting of Him we are, the more it pleases Him.