Paying for Dates

[Mommie2Boys]

Okay, Paloma's last comment got me thinking, but I didn't want to derail the Cougar Thread, so here goes.
 
How do you men feel about paying for dates?
Are you more comfortable: paying yourself each time, going dutch, or taking turns paying? And why?
 
When my husband and I were dating, he always paid. It was what our parents had instilled in us, so it's what we did. I didn't demand he pay, he just automatically did it, and I never ordered anything more expensive than he did. (Just figured that was common courtesy.) However, I was working and probably could have paid now and then. It just seems like in the almost seven years that we've been married the rules have changed. I just wanted to see how others felt about that.
 

[DaveC]

I think the men should ordinarily pay when dating.  There may be times when the woman wants to pay as a special treat or special circumstances.

My wife and I still go on dates and argue about who gets to pay...it's kind of fun.

[CanadianCatholic]

I was always raised that the man payed. However, when my husband and I were dating, I made more money. The first few months, he paid for everything, once we were more comfortable with each other, i picked up the check sometimes.

[Satori]

I think whoever does the asking should pay.

[WhollyRoaminCatholic]

When I met my wife, she had graduated college, had a good job and a 401(k), her own apartment and a car that was totally paid for.

I was in my fourth or fifth attempt at dropping out of college, had 4 crummy jobs at the same time, couldn't spell 401(k) and had a bigger car payment than rent bill.

Our first few dates were meeting at bars around the college town where we lived.  I was friends with enough bartenders to know which ones I could put a $20 in the tip jar and get free drinks for the rest of the night.  It was about the only way I could afford to be gentlemanly and "pick up the tab".  So if we went out to dinner, she paid.  I didn't have any working credit cards, so it was either that or not go out at all.  If I wanted to treat her, I'd make dinner instead of going out (though looking back, those dinners often cost more than any restaurant to which we would have gone would have charged).

What I'm saying is this: if impoverished guys want to be gentlemanly and pick up the tab, then they also need to be resourceful and find ways to do it. 

But when you're dating, sometimes the woman wants to go someplace in particular.  If she's setting the "terms" of the date, then it's on her dime.  If my girlfriend (now wife) wanted to go to a nice restaurant, then it'd have to be on her dime.  If she and I just wanted to spend time together, then it'd have to be on different terms than a restaurant, a night at the movies or whatever.

[WhollyRoaminCatholic]

I think the men should ordinarily pay when dating.  There may be times when the woman wants to pay as a special treat or special circumstances.

My wife and I still go on dates and argue about who gets to pay...it's kind of fun.

I joke about this too.  But it's a joint account, so all it means is that I'm going to calculate the tip (which gives my wife mental and emotional paralysis) and sign the check.

Do you have seperate bank accounts?

[DaveC]

We just recently (after about a year and half of marriage) put each others' names on the bank accounts.

Instead of retaining an account for me and an account for her.  One account will become the monthly expense account, and the other the food/gas/everyday use account.  So, now there will be no difference in which account the money comes from when we go out, but I'm sure we will still argue over who gets to do it.  We're both usually pretty competent about tipping, but sometimes my math gets fuzzy and she has to help.

[ErinIsNice]

When we were dating, we were in college and broke.
We just didn't go on more than a few "real" dates like dinner, etc.  We did stuff that was free.

[LaRoza]

Okay, Paloma's last comment got me thinking, but I didn't want to derail the Cougar Thread, so here goes.
 
How do you men feel about paying for dates?
Are you more comfortable: paying yourself each time, going dutch, or taking turns paying? And why?
 
When my husband and I were dating, he always paid. It was what our parents had instilled in us, so it's what we did. I didn't demand he pay, he just automatically did it, and I never ordered anything more expensive than he did. (Just figured that was common courtesy.) However, I was working and probably could have paid now and then. It just seems like in the almost seven years that we've been married the rules have changed. I just wanted to see how others felt about that.
 

I think it depends on the formality. If a guy asks a girl out to dinner or something it makes sense the guy pays. If two people go out mutually (less of a special date) to an event (say, a concert or something) it might make better sense to split the bill. I do not think the man should pay for everything all the time. However, if the man is "leading" he should pay for what he instigates.

I never had a date, but I've been asked by girls. If a girl is so forward, I think she would be obligated to pay, however, since I never accepted, I do not know what it would have been like.

[LaRoza]

We're both usually pretty competent about tipping, but sometimes my math gets fuzzy and she has to help.

Move the decimal point over one place and double it.

So $47.50 is the bill, move the decimal: $4.75 and double it: $9.50. There is a 20% tip (for the USA, and for good or not cheap places, that is recommened). For a 15% tip, you do the same thing, but instead of double the 10% (moving the decimal point), you divide it in half and multiply by three.