Raising a Catholic Family

[slewi]

Hello all!

I have seen a few episodes of The Duggars, about their large Christian family back when I still had cable. Has anyone seen the show?

I came upon the Duggars website, and looked around a bit, and they have several links focusing on how to raise a family in the Christian way. Now what I am wondering is where are these same resources for Traditional Catholics?

One of the sites the Duggars link to is www.titus2.com. And they seem to have several interesting titles about homeschooling, mastering one's house, and other aspects of running a Christian home. But when they get into interpretation of scripture I know things will be wrong, so I am hesitant to look at their offerings.

Does anyone have any suggestions? As the father of a 15 month old daughter, I want to run my home correctly and bring her up right. There just seems to be precious little for young families from a Traditional catholic viewpoint.

Anyone else experiencing this? Or am I just being weird?

Cheers,
Stephen

[Anastasia]

I can't wait for Erin to see this!

[Anastasia]

Seriously, though, I'd recommend things like "The Year and our children" by Mary Newland, Ignatius Press, Tan, and Emmanuel books all have many catholic family offerings, and I like materamabilis.org for catholic homeschooling ideas.
I took a quick look at the website, and for all they talk about following the words of the Bible, they have some very un-Christian ideas there, e.g. husbands are told to correct their wives if they misbehave, but a wife is not allowed to say anything to her misbehaving husband. If your spouse is commiting a sin, it is an act of mercy to (with charity) admonish them.

[ggreg]

My advice?  Be nice to your 15 month old daughter.  Play with her, become her friend, talk about her dolls, involve yourself in her life, get down on her level and try to genuinely play and joke around like a kid, do fun things that she enjoys.  If she likes you and you like her, she will respect you, admire you and grow up aspiring to marry someone like you.  I really like my children and they like me.

Nothing wrong with being Baron Von Trapp character and given children strict discipline as long as it is done with visible and clear love for them and they continually sense that you love them and like them.  I'm pretty strict with my children, when they need it, and they like strictness because they know where they stand.  I also smack them when required, mainly the boys rather than the girls since my girls don't need to be smacked.  But I also play, lark around, listen to their crazy jokes, teach them the funny kids songs that I sang as a child and am self-effacing and happy to let them joke around and tease me.

The large Traditional Catholic families I have seen be successful are always ones where the parents and the children actually like one another.  Domineering fathers who think they can rule by dictat because that is the way it used to be and the way society should function almost universally fail and I've seen a LOT of teenage rebellion especially from teenage daughters.

Fathers can't command respect, they have to earn it if they want it to be real.

Finally, never underestimate the power and pressure that the ostrasization of other siblings will provide.  If you have built a "circle of trust" or mini-mafia inside your family where practicing your faith puts you in the club with all the benefits and lapsing/co-habiting/marrying a divorcee gets you kicked out then those roads/choice tend not to be taken in the first place.

That handsome divorcee at the office is never dated and so "love" never blossoms.  Skipping mass never becomes habitual because the loss of family respect or contact is a greater threat than the upside in those early stages.  I've seen this to be a highly effective strategy but obviously it means that the family code has to be set in stone and re-enforced during early childhood.  Never underestimate the power of etching these lessons on the young brain.  Show me a child at the age of seven.................

[Sebastianus]

Yeah, I have three kids under three.  I don't have a problem with them peeing on the carpet, or not eating all of their dinner or being silly heads.  I expect though that when it comes time for Christ, they will pay 100% attention to Him.  The best way I can do that right now, is to pay 100% attention to Him and show my children the best example that I can be.  Good luck, and God be with you.

[Alfred_E_Newman]

I agree with the above, just love them and you are off to the best possible start!  Beyond that, I too had three under three, now I've got even more, so I know how things go.  Take those Kiddos to Mass EVERY Sunday, prayers EVERY night, talk about our Lord and our Lady EVERY day (on their level--but you'd be surprised how advanced that can be!).  Live it and they will too.  Dress well for mass and keep on them.  Some days it's like riot control in our pew, but over time staying on them works well.  Finally, a book custom made for what you need is:
Around the Year with the Trapp Family
It is by Maria Von Trapp and it focuses on family life and the living of the Liturgical Year.  It is EXCELLENT!  It is also out of print, but copies can be found on Amazon, etc.  Expensive but well worth the price!!  
You will do great.

[spera]

Courtesy of the EWTN Library:

Around the Year with the TRAPP FAMILY (or excerpts from it)

http://www.ewtn.com/library/FAMILY/TRAPP.TXT

[Ignatius_of_Loyola]

I know these are fighting words...  but they're meant well 

Focus on the Family is VERY good at making sure your kids are Christian.  They have a TON of resources that provide the support you need to be Christian AND traditional.

**Note: they are nondenom Christian, so you have to take it the rest of the way to being Catholic.

But where it is good is giving you a lot of the basic firepower you need.  Given their help and a good Catholic Faith, you can take it the rest of the way.
 

[Credo]

Be the real deal. If you're going to want your childern to be Christian, then you had better be an authentic one yourself.

Be firm, but don't be an authoritarian. You will rue that decision to you dying day (ever seen what happens to kids who've been kept on too short a leash the second they leave home?).

Don't pressure your children to accept the Religion. Make sure there's a Catholic presence, but don't shove it down their throat.

You may also wish to incorporate some of the Office in your family's daily schedule, so as to make you children know they're part of something much larger.

Hope it helps.

[dakotamidnight]

I'm curious on this too - I admit I haven't done much in the way of the faith with my 2.5 year old other than she has a rosary, but she never sees me say it {she typically is asleep}

I need to make an effort to do that more.