Teenagers and dating

[Iolanthe]

I had a very parental-approved two-year relationship after that, but he and my dad got along a little too well, which made me very nervous, so it ended. 

:o

Great, so now I have to remember not to get along TOO well with a girl's father.  I can't hold it together, here - it's just too complicated  :o

Only if you date a girl with daddy issues  ;)

[libby]

Why is it that no one ever blames a girl and tells her she isn't truly feminine if she gets her heart broken?  But when it's a guy it must be some fault of his, huh?

The world is a crappy place and bad things happen to good people who don't deserve it.  Everyone has experienced that. 

... what?

I don't understand what you're saying.

as far as the rest of this, just behave. Honestly.

act like you're supposed to - whatever that may be - and that's it.

and if the other person doesn't like it, then....?

can that be a lonely way to live? yep - but it beats the alternative.

[DrBombay]

You can raise the best little Catholic kids, Latin every Sunday, rote memorization of the Baltimore Catechism, no meat on Friday and when they're 18, they turn into a skank or a manwhore cuz they've got free will.  It's God's greatest gift to us, or so they say.

So kick them out of the nest and let them make their own way, then worry about getting yourself to heaven.  If you make it to heaven and your kids don't, you'll be perfectly happy and content.  Trust me....or trust God I should say.

[libby]

You can raise the best little Catholic kids, Latin every Sunday, rote memorization of the Baltimore Catechism, no meat on Friday and when they're 18, they turn into a skank or a manwhore cuz they've got free will.  It's God's greatest gift to us, or so they say.

So kick them out of the nest and let them make their own way, then worry about getting yourself to heaven.  If you make it to heaven and your kids don't, you'll be perfectly happy and content.  Trust me....or trust God I should say.

just because your kid has been skankitized doesn't mean that they can't return to what they once knew.

and sometimes you have to go with that because there IS nothing else.

[DrBombay]

You can raise the best little Catholic kids, Latin every Sunday, rote memorization of the Baltimore Catechism, no meat on Friday and when they're 18, they turn into a skank or a manwhore cuz they've got free will.  It's God's greatest gift to us, or so they say.

So kick them out of the nest and let them make their own way, then worry about getting yourself to heaven.  If you make it to heaven and your kids don't, you'll be perfectly happy and content.  Trust me....or trust God I should say.

just because your kid has been skankitized doesn't mean that they can't return to what they once knew.

and sometimes you have to go with that because there IS nothing else.

We can all overcome our sins.  That's obvious.  My point is if you're a parent, you can't keep wringing your hands over your kids.  Easy for me to say since I'm not a parent, but at some point you've got to cut the cord.  There's a reason Christ told us to leave our families and let the dead bury the dead, etc.  Ultimately we can only work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.  Everyone else has free will and they make their choices. 

[libby]

We can all overcome our sins.  That's obvious.  My point is if you're a parent, you can't keep wringing your hands over your kids.  Easy for me to say since I'm not a parent, but at some point you've got to cut the cord.  There's a reason Christ told us to leave our families and let the dead bury the dead, etc.  Ultimately we can only work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.  Everyone else has free will and they make their choices. 

I don't know about anyone else - but I'm not wringing my hands.

I know the cord needs to be cut - just not over a cauldron of boiling oil.

and if I do need to release them into a dangerous situation, then I'm going to try to give them as much as I can, as long as I can, so that they at least have a fighting chance.

[Magnificat]

I think it's important that kids not smell your fear:  they should be raised to understand personal responsibility and both positive and negative consequences, and how to act in the best interest of themselves and their loved ones.  The development of a healthy conscience begins in the cradle.   Can you tell that I was socialized by old fashioned Yankees? 

[ResiduumRevertetur]

I think it's important that kids not smell your fear: 

[Walty]

That's too easy.  There are a lot of decent guys out there who do lead and still end up getting screwed over.  The same goes for a lot of good women.

Why is it that no one ever blames a girl and tells her she isn't truly feminine if she gets her heart broken?  But when it's a guy it must be some fault of his, huh?

The world is a crappy place and bad things happen to good people who don't deserve it.  Everyone has experienced that. 

I'm not excusing the floozies...and I am aware that nice guys finish last, and all that, which is pretty messed up. But I think you're totally wrong about girls not being blamed for a heartbreak. We get ALL the blame, from the pagans and the Catholics. Look at any of those lame dating books. They're full of stuff about how women should just try to get over it and not be "clingy." And from Catholics? Pretty much the first thing people will do when they hear of a breakup is find some way to blame the girl. And this is from people I LIKE.

Well, I think the whole "nice guys finish last" thing can be an excuse from guys.  It is certainly true that there are a lot of girls out there who need justification from a man who treats them pretty badly.  That being said, I think it's also a cop out sometimes from guys who are too clingy or effeminate or whatever.  Guys need to be strong and they need to lead.  Being needy is unattractive and creepy, especially in a man. 

But I don't know.  I've never seen any of this about girls getting blamed for everything when relationships go south.  Being "clingy" isn't good but neither is hiding your feelings or playing "the game."  Maybe we are from two really differents situations and things are vastly different where you are at, but it sounds to me like we agree actually.  There are decent people out there on both sides.  They're just few and far between, I think.

[Jacafamala]

You can raise the best little Catholic kids, Latin every Sunday, rote memorization of the Baltimore Catechism, no meat on Friday and when they're 18, they turn into a skank or a manwhore cuz they've got free will.  It's God's greatest gift to us, or so they say.

So kick them out of the nest and let them make their own way, then worry about getting yourself to heaven.  If you make it to heaven and your kids don't, you'll be perfectly happy and content.  Trust me....or trust God I should say.

just because your kid has been skankitized doesn't mean that they can't return to what they once knew.

and sometimes you have to go with that because there IS nothing else.

We can all overcome our sins.  That's obvious.  My point is if you're a parent, you can't keep wringing your hands over your kids.  Easy for me to say since I'm not a parent, but at some point you've got to cut the cord.  There's a reason Christ told us to leave our families and let the dead bury the dead, etc.  Ultimately we can only work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.  Everyone else has free will and they make their choices. 

We have an obligation before God to do the best we can with them spiritually--and for our spouses as well. I pray the rosary daily for them, and I pray with them, and place them under the protection of the Blessed Mother. I know they'll make mistakes, but I'm not afraid. I trust Our Lady with their souls completely.