Teenagers and dating

[Jacafamala]

For the girls, keep them sheltered. They can do things too, but they need to be watched even more so than boys; they're more vulnerable.

The best way to prepare a girl to be helpless in the real world and even more vulnerable is to shelter her. No offense, but that's terrible advice.

Really, terrible advice? How so? I'm very interested.

Because, as Canadian Catholic pointed out, women need to be strong in order to survive in this world. Sheltering is a parent's easiest way of avoiding the problems that come with raising daughters. It's "boys will be boys so we'll keep the girls at home and hope for the best" and then when the girls go out in the real world, which happens eventually unless the parents are nutjobs who think they're going to stay home forever, they can't deal with the reality of it. How about teaching the boys to be real men who treat women with respect? Do that and there won't be any need for sheltering. Also, girls who are taught self-respect and receive the value they deserve at home will be a lot less likely to make bad choices. If you tell a girl "you're vulnerable so you're not allowed to x, y, or z" you're going to make her doubt herself and resent you and your authority.

There are certain things I let my teenage boy do that I wouldn't let any of my girls do. For example, I wouldn't allow a girl to walk home alone late at night. I wouldn't let a daughter of mine become a bar tender. I wouldn't let them take the a walk by themselves through a bad neighborhood.

When you ask, "how about teaching the boys to be real men who treat women with respect?" Yes, I think I try to do this. But I don't rely on the rest of the world to do the same.

[mamalove]

You can raise the best little Catholic kids, Latin every Sunday, rote memorization of the Baltimore Catechism, no meat on Friday and when they're 18, they turn into a skank or a manwhore cuz they've got free will.  It's God's greatest gift to us, or so they say.

So kick them out of the nest and let them make their own way, then worry about getting yourself to heaven.  If you make it to heaven and your kids don't, you'll be perfectly happy and content.  Trust me....or trust God I should say.

Dang Trad Catholic brother....thats harsh.  Its obvious you dont have children.
I have children, and my greatest desire is to get them to heaven.  period.
  St Padre Pio was so mad at that woman who came to him in the confessional who let her children go to perdition.
 For anyone who needs a spiritual boost, I would reccomend "The Christian Father" and "The Christian Mother" from Angelus press.  Prayers for your children and yourself that  are very holy and a blessing to any serious Christian family.
There is so much more to it than Latin on Sundays or not eating meat on Fri.  Its a whole household of holiness, and a whole loving heart for God, one that is so full of love for Him...it cant help but train up the children to know, love and serve Him with all of their might.
This is what we want for the children, and these are the spouses we begin to pray for when the children are infants.

[DrBombay]

You can raise the best little Catholic kids, Latin every Sunday, rote memorization of the Baltimore Catechism, no meat on Friday and when they're 18, they turn into a skank or a manwhore cuz they've got free will.  It's God's greatest gift to us, or so they say.

So kick them out of the nest and let them make their own way, then worry about getting yourself to heaven.  If you make it to heaven and your kids don't, you'll be perfectly happy and content.  Trust me....or trust God I should say.

Dang Trad Catholic brother....thats harsh.  Its obvious you dont have children.
I have children, and my greatest desire is to get them to heaven.  period.
  St Padre Pio was so mad at that woman who came to him in the confessional who let her children go to perdition.
 For anyone who needs a spiritual boost, I would reccomend "The Christian Father" and "The Christian Mother" from Angelus press.  Prayers for your children and yourself that  are very holy and a blessing to any serious Christian family.
There is so much more to it than Latin on Sundays or not eating meat on Fri.  Its a whole household of holiness, and a whole loving heart for God, one that is so full of love for Him...it cant help but train up the children to know, love and serve Him with all of their might.
This is what we want for the children, and these are the spouses we begin to pray for when the children are infants.

You can do everything right, pray for them every day, but they still have free will.  That's the wild card.  I've known too many trad families whose kids fall away from the Faith.  It happens and it's not the parent's fault. 

Of course you want your kids to go to heaven, but you can't force them to and when you're in heaven yourself, if they're in hell you will recognize the adorable justice of God at work and will be completely and perfectly happy.

[Katherine of Aragon]

Most of the so-called "sheltering" that goes on in Traditional homes is just an excuse to keep girls as helpless as possible so that parents don't have to have the responsibility of actually teaching their girls how to make good, independant decisions. It's actually really cruel.

Well, my parents were not Trads.  They are not even Catholics.  They sheltered us a great deal when we were small, but by the time we were allowed to date (at around 16), we were given extreme freedom.  Their attitude was that they had given us the principles; it was our responsibility to live up to them.  I never even had a curfew, but my parents always knew where I was going and with whom.  None of us ever went wild.  We all married fairly young.  I was 22, and I was the oldest.  My sisters were 20 and 19, respectively.  We're all still married, twelve years for me and for my one sister, and ten years for the other.  I suppose it worked, then. 

I'm not sure what I will do for my children yet.  My oldest is discerning a vocation to the religious life, but the others are not.  I am worried.

[Magnificat]

For the girls, keep them sheltered. They can do things too, but they need to be watched even more so than boys; they're more vulnerable.

The best way to prepare a girl to be helpless in the real world and even more vulnerable is to shelter her. No offense, but that's terrible advice.

Really, terrible advice? How so? I'm very interested.

Because, as Canadian Catholic pointed out, women need to be strong in order to survive in this world. Sheltering is a parent's easiest way of avoiding the problems that come with raising daughters. It's "boys will be boys so we'll keep the girls at home and hope for the best" and then when the girls go out in the real world, which happens eventually unless the parents are nutjobs who think they're going to stay home forever, they can't deal with the reality of it. How about teaching the boys to be real men who treat women with respect? Do that and there won't be any need for sheltering. Also, girls who are taught self-respect and receive the value they deserve at home will be a lot less likely to make bad choices. If you tell a girl "you're vulnerable so you're not allowed to x, y, or z" you're going to make her doubt herself and resent you and your authority.

There are certain things I let my teenage boy do that I wouldn't let any of my girls do. For example, I wouldn't allow a girl to walk home alone late at night. I wouldn't let a daughter of mine become a bar tender. I wouldn't let them take the a walk by themselves through a bad neighborhood.

When you ask, "how about teaching the boys to be real men who treat women with respect?" Yes, I think I try to do this. But I don't rely on the rest of the world to do the same.

I see where you're coming from, but I wouldn't let anybody in my family  - girl, boy, man, woman, ogre, gargoyle, android - walk home alone late at night through any neighborhood.   Too many weird things happen (I've seen the results).  As for bartending, that's a negatory for both boys and girls as well because it's one of those jobs that makes you hate people. 

[the4thlamb]

You can raise the best little Catholic kids, Latin every Sunday, rote memorization of the Baltimore Catechism, no meat on Friday and when they're 18, they turn into a skank or a manwhore cuz they've got free will.  It's God's greatest gift to us, or so they say.

So kick them out of the nest and let them make their own way, then worry about getting yourself to heaven.  If you make it to heaven and your kids don't, you'll be perfectly happy and content.  Trust me....or trust God I should say.

just because your kid has been skankitized doesn't mean that they can't return to what they once knew.

and sometimes you have to go with that because there IS nothing else.

We can all overcome our sins.  That's obvious.  My point is if you're a parent, you can't keep wringing your hands over your kids.  Easy for me to say since I'm not a parent, but at some point you've got to cut the cord.  There's a reason Christ told us to leave our families and let the dead bury the dead, etc.  Ultimately we can only work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.  Everyone else has free will and they make their choices. 

We have an obligation before God to do the best we can with them spiritually--and for our spouses as well. I pray the rosary daily for them, and I pray with them, and place them under the protection of the Blessed Mother. I know they'll make mistakes, but I'm not afraid. I trust Our Lady with their souls completely.

  

[the4thlamb]

You can raise the best little Catholic kids, Latin every Sunday, rote memorization of the Baltimore Catechism, no meat on Friday and when they're 18, they turn into a skank or a manwhore cuz they've got free will.  It's God's greatest gift to us, or so they say.

So kick them out of the nest and let them make their own way, then worry about getting yourself to heaven.  If you make it to heaven and your kids don't, you'll be perfectly happy and content.  Trust me....or trust God I should say.

Dang Trad Catholic brother....thats harsh.  Its obvious you dont have children.
I have children, and my greatest desire is to get them to heaven.  period.
  St Padre Pio was so mad at that woman who came to him in the confessional who let her children go to perdition.
 For anyone who needs a spiritual boost, I would reccomend "The Christian Father" and "The Christian Mother" from Angelus press.  Prayers for your children and yourself that  are very holy and a blessing to any serious Christian family.
There is so much more to it than Latin on Sundays or not eating meat on Fri.  Its a whole household of holiness, and a whole loving heart for God, one that is so full of love for Him...it cant help but train up the children to know, love and serve Him with all of their might.
This is what we want for the children, and these are the spouses we begin to pray for when the children are infants.
[/quote    
  Words of wisdom  
Thanks for the book title