Dating guides for Catholics

[JayneK]

Most often 'players' are not very intelligent guys, so it seems that intelligence is not a big factor for how much a woman is attracted to a man. Indeed it seems that many woman would like to think of themselves as the brains of the relationship and want to be, and this desire seems to be reinforced through popular culture, to the point where in some peoples minds being intelligent is unmasculine, and therefore unattractive to women, also if the man is unintelligent he is easier to manipulate.

I knew that I was atypical but I didn't think it was this much.  Intelligence is probably the factor that affects the most how attracted I feel to a man. I suppose my initial attraction to my husband was that he was good looking, but that would not have been enough to maintain it if he hadn't been really smart. I can't imagine being married to a man who isn't smarter than I am.

[Jacafamala]

I think there needs to be an important distinction here.  I think the quasi-decent women in the world know what will make a good husband and they desire things like intelligence and loyalty or whatever.  It's not that they spend time with "players" because they have been disillusioned into thinking that they will make good husbands.  Neither person in that situation wants to get married.  They like attention from a guy who isn't all of the things that make a good husband and because he isn't.  Likewise, immature dudes spend a lot of time with gurlies that aren't the type you bring home to mum.  Some people are looking for a spouse and some aren't at the moment.  What you are looking for (sex, attention, status, marriage) will affect what type of person you are looking for and my experience is that even people who are quasi-Catholic don't want to jump into marriage too soon.  They'd like to spend time with all the wrong sorts of people so that they don't feel like they missed out when they finally settle down with someone they know is good for them.

In my opinion, the problem isn't just that you can't find anyone decent to discern marriage with.  The problem is deeper.  Decent guys and girls also have to deal with people trying to lure them into the secular lifestyle.  It's one thing if no gurlies come around.  It's another thing entirely if no good gurlies come around but all sorts of other riff raff does.  It just complicates things more.

I really believe that the vast majority of promiscuous girls really do want a husband only they haven't a clue as to how to go about getting one. No one has ever taught them about the value of purity and virginity.

[Walty]

I think there needs to be an important distinction here.  I think the quasi-decent women in the world know what will make a good husband and they desire things like intelligence and loyalty or whatever.  It's not that they spend time with "players" because they have been disillusioned into thinking that they will make good husbands.  Neither person in that situation wants to get married.  They like attention from a guy who isn't all of the things that make a good husband and because he isn't.  Likewise, immature dudes spend a lot of time with gurlies that aren't the type you bring home to mum.  Some people are looking for a spouse and some aren't at the moment.  What you are looking for (sex, attention, status, marriage) will affect what type of person you are looking for and my experience is that even people who are quasi-Catholic don't want to jump into marriage too soon.  They'd like to spend time with all the wrong sorts of people so that they don't feel like they missed out when they finally settle down with someone they know is good for them.

In my opinion, the problem isn't just that you can't find anyone decent to discern marriage with.  The problem is deeper.  Decent guys and girls also have to deal with people trying to lure them into the secular lifestyle.  It's one thing if no gurlies come around.  It's another thing entirely if no good gurlies come around but all sorts of other riff raff does.  It just complicates things more.

I really believe that the vast majority of promiscuous girls really do want a husband only they haven't a clue as to how to go about getting one. No one has ever taught them about the value of purity and virginity.

I'd like to think the same thing but I'm just not sure. They might eventually want the superficialties of marriage but the commitment of it terrifies them. 

[Satori]

Most often 'players' are not very intelligent guys, so it seems that intelligence is not a big factor for how much a woman is attracted to a man. Indeed it seems that many woman would like to think of themselves as the brains of the relationship and want to be, and this desire seems to be reinforced through popular culture, to the point where in some peoples minds being intelligent is unmasculine, and therefore unattractive to women, also if the man is unintelligent he is easier to manipulate.

I knew that I was atypical but I didn't think it was this much.  Intelligence is probably the factor that affects the most how attracted I feel to a man. I suppose my initial attraction to my husband was that he was good looking, but that would not have been enough to maintain it if he hadn't been really smart. I can't imagine being married to a man who isn't smarter than I am.

I don't know, but intelligence in a man is important to an intelligent woman. It might be a turn-off to the less intelligent ones because, understandably, they want someone they won't have trouble talking to.

[Jacafamala]

I think there needs to be an important distinction here.  I think the quasi-decent women in the world know what will make a good husband and they desire things like intelligence and loyalty or whatever.  It's not that they spend time with "players" because they have been disillusioned into thinking that they will make good husbands.  Neither person in that situation wants to get married.  They like attention from a guy who isn't all of the things that make a good husband and because he isn't.  Likewise, immature dudes spend a lot of time with gurlies that aren't the type you bring home to mum.  Some people are looking for a spouse and some aren't at the moment.  What you are looking for (sex, attention, status, marriage) will affect what type of person you are looking for and my experience is that even people who are quasi-Catholic don't want to jump into marriage too soon.  They'd like to spend time with all the wrong sorts of people so that they don't feel like they missed out when they finally settle down with someone they know is good for them.

In my opinion, the problem isn't just that you can't find anyone decent to discern marriage with.  The problem is deeper.  Decent guys and girls also have to deal with people trying to lure them into the secular lifestyle.  It's one thing if no gurlies come around.  It's another thing entirely if no good gurlies come around but all sorts of other riff raff does.  It just complicates things more.

I really believe that the vast majority of promiscuous girls really do want a husband only they haven't a clue as to how to go about getting one. No one has ever taught them about the value of purity and virginity.

I'd like to think the same thing but I'm just not sure. They might eventually want the superficialties of marriage but the commitment of it terrifies them. 

Women were created to be cherished by one man, this is how God created them. But it's just that the "culture" has done a very good job of brain washing women to believe otherwise. The culture has brainwashed them to believe that promiscuity is what they really want. But a promiscuous women is an very unhappy woman. She is at odds with her true nature.

[Satori]

I think there needs to be an important distinction here.  I think the quasi-decent women in the world know what will make a good husband and they desire things like intelligence and loyalty or whatever.  It's not that they spend time with "players" because they have been disillusioned into thinking that they will make good husbands.  Neither person in that situation wants to get married.  They like attention from a guy who isn't all of the things that make a good husband and because he isn't.  Likewise, immature dudes spend a lot of time with gurlies that aren't the type you bring home to mum.  Some people are looking for a spouse and some aren't at the moment.  What you are looking for (sex, attention, status, marriage) will affect what type of person you are looking for and my experience is that even people who are quasi-Catholic don't want to jump into marriage too soon.  They'd like to spend time with all the wrong sorts of people so that they don't feel like they missed out when they finally settle down with someone they know is good for them.

In my opinion, the problem isn't just that you can't find anyone decent to discern marriage with.  The problem is deeper.  Decent guys and girls also have to deal with people trying to lure them into the secular lifestyle.  It's one thing if no gurlies come around.  It's another thing entirely if no good gurlies come around but all sorts of other riff raff does.  It just complicates things more.

I really believe that the vast majority of promiscuous girls really do want a husband only they haven't a clue as to how to go about getting one. No one has ever taught them about the value of purity and virginity.

I'd like to think the same thing but I'm just not sure. They might eventually want the superficialties of marriage but the commitment of it terrifies them. 

Women were created to be cherished by one man, this is how God created them. But it's just that the "culture" has done a very good job of brain washing them to believe otherwise. A promiscuous women is an very unhappy woman.

I can tell you from my own personal experience that a woman who presents herself as a sex object may very well be trying to get male approval the only way she knows how. That's what men these days are supposed to want, someone sexually experienced and easy, with lots of tricks up her sleeve.

[PeterII]

Women were created to be cherished by one man, this is how God created them. But it's just that the "culture" has done a very good job of brain washing women to believe otherwise. The culture has brainwashed them to believe that promiscuity is what they really want. But a promiscuous women is an very unhappy woman. She is at odds with her true nature.

Too bad men were created to cherish many women.   

[Walty]

I think there needs to be an important distinction here.  I think the quasi-decent women in the world know what will make a good husband and they desire things like intelligence and loyalty or whatever.  It's not that they spend time with "players" because they have been disillusioned into thinking that they will make good husbands.  Neither person in that situation wants to get married.  They like attention from a guy who isn't all of the things that make a good husband and because he isn't.  Likewise, immature dudes spend a lot of time with gurlies that aren't the type you bring home to mum.  Some people are looking for a spouse and some aren't at the moment.  What you are looking for (sex, attention, status, marriage) will affect what type of person you are looking for and my experience is that even people who are quasi-Catholic don't want to jump into marriage too soon.  They'd like to spend time with all the wrong sorts of people so that they don't feel like they missed out when they finally settle down with someone they know is good for them.

In my opinion, the problem isn't just that you can't find anyone decent to discern marriage with.  The problem is deeper.  Decent guys and girls also have to deal with people trying to lure them into the secular lifestyle.  It's one thing if no gurlies come around.  It's another thing entirely if no good gurlies come around but all sorts of other riff raff does.  It just complicates things more.

I really believe that the vast majority of promiscuous girls really do want a husband only they haven't a clue as to how to go about getting one. No one has ever taught them about the value of purity and virginity.

I'd like to think the same thing but I'm just not sure. They might eventually want the superficialties of marriage but the commitment of it terrifies them. 

Women were created to be cherished by one man, this is how God created them. But it's just that the "culture" has done a very good job of brain washing women to believe otherwise. The culture has brainwashed them to believe that promiscuity is what they really want. But a promiscuous women is an very unhappy woman. She is at odds with her true nature.

Undoubtedly.  And I feel badly because most women (and men) will never discover this.  They ironically see marriage and commitment as a constraint on their happiness when it's their own resistence to it that will keep them from true peace and fulfillment.  We see commitment (to God, a spouse etc.) as a limitation of our freedom when it's actually the tool by which we become free.  We have become slaves to the world and Satan has done an eerily amazing job of convincing us that we have actually won our freedom.

Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

[Katherine of Aragon]

I think it is a very warped woman who actually seeks out promiscuous relationships, the easy sex, the casual hook-ups. (I am not denying these women exist; I just think that they have been very badly warped in the center of their nature.)  I agree with someone (sorry, I forget who posted it!) who wrote that most women are actually trying to get a husband in the only way they know how.  It is a very sad thing.

[OCLittleFlower]

I think it is a very warped woman who actually seeks out promiscuous relationships, the easy sex, the casual hook-ups. (I am not denying these women exist; I just think that they have been very badly warped in the center of their nature.)  I agree with someone (sorry, I forget who posted it!) who wrote that most women are actually trying to get a husband in the only way they know how.  It is a very sad thing.

I agree with this as well.  These ladies try to use sex appeal to catch a man, but what they don't realize is that this method makes them disposable.