Obeying Husband vs. Sin

[OCLittleFlower]

I would find another doctor.  I have never heard of steroid shots for a cold (that sounds like a disaster) and I wouldn't keep any doctor who wouldn't return phone calls or at least have a nurse call back with advice.  For goodness sake, our family VET gives care a million times better than this.  Then again, I've never been able to find a doctor as good as our vet, so maybe it isn't quite fair, still though.

As far as sin, I think both people are guilty when a husband tells his wife to sin.  He is for ordering it, and she is for not saying no.

[Inion_Coinin]

then, that may be an act of charity on your part.  Maybe.

Isn't it odd how in some rare instances you can be charitable and sinful at the same time?  Life is such an amazing thing.

[Inion_Coinin]

I would find another doctor.  I have never heard of steroid shots for a cold (that sounds like a disaster) and I wouldn't keep any doctor who wouldn't return phone calls or at least have a nurse call back with advice.  For goodness sake, our family VET gives care a million times better than this.  Then again, I've never been able to find a doctor as good as our vet, so maybe it isn't quite fair, still though.

I agree, I hate his doctor.  I'm going to insist that he switches.

[elizabee]

Hmm yeah that's a toughie. I think it was a sin. I was in a very similar situation recently, it sucks, doesn't it? I would say go to confession and tell your husband you will in the future tell whoever calls that he is very sick in bed. That will be the truth and should satisfy whoever! Your husband being the one who asks you to or indirectly encourages you to doesn't make it okay.
I know this uncle job thing has given you headaches before, is it entirely impossible for him to get a different job? Maybe as a security guard or something (I'm thinking, he's big, and they tend to get good benefits). I'm totally shooting in the dark of course, I have no idea where you live or what the economy is like there.

[Texican]

Isn't it odd how in some rare instances you can be charitable and sinful at the same time?  Life is such an amazing thing.

It never ceases to amaze me, that's for sure.

 

Hmm yeah that's a toughie. I think it was a sin. I was in a very similar situation recently, it sucks, doesn't it? I would say go to confession and tell your husband you will in the future tell whoever calls that he is very sick in bed. That will be the truth and should satisfy whoever! Your husband being the one who asks you to or indirectly encourages you to doesn't make it okay.

and what elizabee said:

[JayneK]

Did I sin by doing this?  If so, is it only venial?

Any time you are not sure, it is a good idea to say it during Confession.  The grace of the Sacrament may help you to gain more clarity and the priest can advise you. 

In general, obeying one's husband reduces one's culpability.  It is really important to obey one's husband.  In the situation you describe, you could tell your husband that you really dislike telling this sort of lie and ask if there is some other way to deal with the situation.

[Inion_Coinin]

Hmm yeah that's a toughie. I think it was a sin. I was in a very similar situation recently, it sucks, doesn't it? I would say go to confession and tell your husband you will in the future tell whoever calls that he is very sick in bed. That will be the truth and should satisfy whoever! Your husband being the one who asks you to or indirectly encourages you to doesn't make it okay.
I know this uncle job thing has given you headaches before, is it entirely impossible for him to get a different job? Maybe as a security guard or something (I'm thinking, he's big, and they tend to get good benefits). I'm totally shooting in the dark of course, I have no idea where you live or what the economy is like there.

It's the best job he could ever possibly have, and he wouldn't want to let his family down by leaving.  I think it would be wrong for him to leave the family business, they depend on him.  His uncle is a pain to work for, but another job could have different problems, especially in his line of work.  His best option is to learn how to cope better, not take things personally, assert himself, etc.  I have every bit of confidence in him that he'll muddle through.

[elizabee]

Hmm yeah that's a toughie. I think it was a sin. I was in a very similar situation recently, it sucks, doesn't it? I would say go to confession and tell your husband you will in the future tell whoever calls that he is very sick in bed. That will be the truth and should satisfy whoever! Your husband being the one who asks you to or indirectly encourages you to doesn't make it okay.
I know this uncle job thing has given you headaches before, is it entirely impossible for him to get a different job? Maybe as a security guard or something (I'm thinking, he's big, and they tend to get good benefits). I'm totally shooting in the dark of course, I have no idea where you live or what the economy is like there.

It's the best job he could ever possibly have, and he wouldn't want to let his family down by leaving.  I think it would be wrong for him to leave the family business, they depend on him.  His uncle is a pain to work for, but another job could have different problems, especially in his line of work.  His best option is to learn how to cope better, not take things personally, assert himself, etc.  I have every bit of confidence in him that he'll muddle through.

Hm okay that's not so terrible as it seemed. But seriously, the uncle needs to have reverence for a sick man with a fever, whatever kind of intervention he chooses to undergo or forgo. Does he want him infecting the rest of the workers? Probably not.
Seriously, though, married women have brains and must prefer to die than sin just like the rest of the world. If the bishop told St. Athanasius to please profess Arianism, should he obey or not? A no-brainer, right? Same with us.

[JayneK]

Seriously, though, married women have brains and must prefer to die than sin just like the rest of the world. If the bishop told St. Athanasius to please profess Arianism, should he obey or not? A no-brainer, right? Same with us.

It is not that simple.  It is one thing for a wife to disobey her husband if she is sure that he is commanding a serious sin.  What if the wife is not sure?  What if it is not a serious sin?  Obeying one's husband is important.  Disobeying is not a step to take lightly and definitely not a 'no-brainer."  While there may be situations in which it is right to disobey one's husband, there is something wrong if the wife does not come to that decision with prayer and thought.

[Bonifacius]

If I may, I'd like to extend the conversation a bit further.  We're usually guaranteed a certain number of sick days. It is generally known that people take sick days when they aren't really sick.  In practice, when you call in and say, "I'm sick," that really means, "I'm invoking my sick day privilege."  Same as when some annoying boy calls and asks if the girl is home and the mother looks over at the daughter, who is shaking her head, and says, "She's not available."  Are these sorts of things sins?  I don't know.