The financial burden of a family

[rogue63]

What are the obligations that a Catholic father and husband has towards providing for his family?  My wife and I currently have two children and very much desire as large a family as God will grant us.  On the other hand, we are concerned that continuing to live on my teacher salary of $30K per annum will make it difficult to buy enough food for everyone to eat, not to mention never being able to afford a house.  Is anyone else in this situation?  I feel a bit stifled by the other families at my parish, where the husbands all make $50K or more and own their houses instead of renting an apartment like we do.  I'd love to have a family of 15 or 20 children, God willing, but what if that means they all go to bed hungry each night?  We're just barely staying afloat financially now.

My main question is this:  are we required to have as many children as biologically possible, or does the Church set some kind of reasonable limit with regard to financial means?  I'm not talking about giving up the fancy TV and summers at the Lake; I'm talking about eating beans and rice every day---which is kinda where we are. 

[Satori]

You'll get all sorts of different answers on this one, rogue63. If you are truly poor you have a valid reason to use NFP if you and your wife wish. But what might be more helpful to you is having others give you suggestions as to what you can do to make the most of your finances.

I completely understand where you're coming from re: living in an apartment while most of your co-parishioners are in their own houses. I never thought my husband and I would be able to buy a house. But we did, by moving to a rural area and getting something that could be politely described as "in need of TLC." Part of it depends on what you are able to do yourself. Part of it would depend on what your wife is willing to put up with.

In answer to your question: No, the Church absolutely does not require you to have as many children as you are biologically capable of having.

[Cetil]

It sounds to me that NFP is certainly an option for you if poor. As to owning your own home unless you are living in a red hot real estate neighborhood you may be better off without that burden. Our house has depreciated about 100 K since the economic collapse. You've been spared something like that.

C.

[OCLittleFlower]

It sounds to me that NFP is certainly an option for you if poor. As to owning your own home unless you are living in a red hot real estate neighborhood you may be better off without that burden. Our house has depreciated about 100 K since the economic collapse. You've been spared something like that.

C.

This is true.  However, assuming you continue to make your payments, you will hopefully have low overhead in retirement if you pay off the mortage in full.  Renting forever means paying rent every month, forever.

[Satori]

It sounds to me that NFP is certainly an option for you if poor. As to owning your own home unless you are living in a red hot real estate neighborhood you may be better off without that burden. Our house has depreciated about 100 K since the economic collapse. You've been spared something like that.

C.

This is true.  However, assuming you continue to make your payments, you will hopefully have low overhead in retirement if you pay off the mortage in full.  Renting forever means paying rent every month, forever.

I fully sympathize with the OP's desire to own his own home and encourage him to not give up on that -- but despite its benefits, don't forget that owning your own house means paying rent to Uncle Sam every year in the form of property taxes.

[Cetil]

It sounds to me that NFP is certainly an option for you if poor. As to owning your own home unless you are living in a red hot real estate neighborhood you may be better off without that burden. Our house has depreciated about 100 K since the economic collapse. You've been spared something like that.

C.

This is true.  However, assuming you continue to make your payments, you will hopefully have low overhead in retirement if you pay off the mortage in full.  Renting forever means paying rent every month, forever.

Nope. Rent is not forever, only until you die. : As to low overhead in retirement I would say maybe. In fact, forecasting that far ahead we have to say maybe to everything. My Mom had two friends who hoped to die in the house they spent so many years paying for but no dice. The real estate taxes got so high they had to sell and give up the home they were so attached to. So much for low overhead.

C.

[Satori]

It sounds to me that NFP is certainly an option for you if poor. As to owning your own home unless you are living in a red hot real estate neighborhood you may be better off without that burden. Our house has depreciated about 100 K since the economic collapse. You've been spared something like that.

C.

This is true.  However, assuming you continue to make your payments, you will hopefully have low overhead in retirement if you pay off the mortage in full.  Renting forever means paying rent every month, forever.

Nope. Rent is not forever, only until you die. : As to low overhead in retirement I would say maybe. In fact, forecasting that far ahead we have to say maybe to everything. My Mom had two friends who hoped to die in the house they spent so many years paying for but no dice. The real estate taxes got so high they had to sell and give up the home they were so attached to. So much for low overhead.

C.

Yes, exactly. Real estate taxes, especially for the elderly, are evil in my book.

[rogue63]

I knew this already---about the serious conditions required for using NFP to avoid pregnancy----but I wanted to hear someone else say it.  Then where is a financial limit on this?  How many children can one afford on $30K per annum?  What does "afford" mean, in my case?  Food and shelter?  Rice and a roof?  Caviar and eagle-down beds?  Can anyone make a suggestion for the financial/children point at which I'd have to make the heartbreaking decision to postpone having more children?

[Satori]

No one on an Internet forum can do this for you. You want opinions? Okay, here's mine: Abstain if you need to do so in order for your family to have a decent place to live -- you know, a safe, solid apartment or house that isn't infested with black mold or in a neighborhood where you endanger your life walking down the street. With a reasonable amount of privacy -- my husband and I lived in a tiny one-bedroom with our child for two years and I really wouldn't recommend that. You should be able to pay your utility bills. Everyone should have enough food to eat -- balanced meals, not luxurious but not canned soup, either. You should be able to afford health insurance for everybody. (Although you may qualify for assistance, in which case scratch that.) You should be able to clothe everyone -- from the thrift store is fine. You should also have enough extra to be able to celebrate modestly on Christmas and birthdays. You know, your life shouldn't be total drudgery.

[Satori]

By the way, we can't even begin to speculate how many children you can afford on your salary when we don't know where you live. This is so different across the US.