How do I get through to my confused mother?

[Pax et Bonum]

Today was the worst Mass I have ever attended. We had drums going full blast, a tambourine that shook all through each song and for about five full seconds afterward, two guitars, a homily that had next to nothing to do with the Gospel...it was ridiculous. I found myself muttering commentary throughout, out of sheer frustration:

"Here come the guitars."

"At least we aren't singing Amazing Grace this time."

"That's it. I'm finding a new church."

And after it all, my mother called me a hypocrite because "my opinion doesn't line up with everyone else's."  I told her that truth isn't a majority vote; just because millions of Catholics are all right with this doesn't make it okay. I had some difficulty restraining my frustration and eventually I said loudly, "Doesn't it make you uncomfortable that Pope Paul VI made this Mass with the help of six Protestant ministers and quite possibly a Freemason?!" She blatantly said no!

She's a new convert, as am I, so I'm trying in all charity to show her why this makes me and many others uncomfortable.

Thankfully, my dad understands my interest in Tradition and the Tridentine Mass. I walked up to him after Mass and he immediately thanked me for my patience, agreeing to talk about these horrid abuses later. He's been a Catholic all his life, though, so it was easy for him to understand. I think my mother chalks my opinion up to being a misinformed newbie.

I don't know what to do, but thank goodness I get to go to the SSPX's chapel in Regina next Sunday. I feel like I need a cold shower after this one.

[Vetus Ordo]

Have patience but let your parents charitably know where you stand. Be kind but firm.

Also, pray God for a solution, that is, a regular TLM to attend.

[Pax et Bonum]

Have patience but let your parents charitably know where you stand. Be kind but firm.

Also, pray God for a solution, that is, a regular TLM to attend.

I will try very hard. It's hard to have a great deal of patience in these situations.

I will do that. I've been asking my mother if she would drop me off at Church of the Assumption of Our Lady, a Byzantine church in town, before she goes with my dad to the Novus Ordo. I'm mostly annoyed and uncomfortable with the instruments in the choir. Some days we have an organ, and I am very much at peace at Mass, so I think the Divine Liturgy of Saint John Chrysostom will be a good match for me, seeing as how the choir uses no instruments other than the occasional bell.

[Vetus Ordo]

Have patience but let your parents charitably know where you stand. Be kind but firm.

Also, pray God for a solution, that is, a regular TLM to attend.

I will try very hard. It's hard to have a great deal of patience in these situations.

I will do that. I've been asking my mother if she would drop me off at Church of the Assumption of Our Lady, a Byzantine church in town, before she goes with my dad to the Novus Ordo. I'm mostly annoyed and uncomfortable with the instruments in the choir. Some days we have an organ, and I am very much at peace at Mass, so I think the Divine Liturgy of Saint John Chrysostom will be a good match for me, seeing as how the choir uses no instruments other than the occasional bell.

That Byzantine Church is Catholic?

[Pax et Bonum]

Have patience but let your parents charitably know where you stand. Be kind but firm.

Also, pray God for a solution, that is, a regular TLM to attend.

I will try very hard. It's hard to have a great deal of patience in these situations.

I will do that. I've been asking my mother if she would drop me off at Church of the Assumption of Our Lady, a Byzantine church in town, before she goes with my dad to the Novus Ordo. I'm mostly annoyed and uncomfortable with the instruments in the choir. Some days we have an organ, and I am very much at peace at Mass, so I think the Divine Liturgy of Saint John Chrysostom will be a good match for me, seeing as how the choir uses no instruments other than the occasional bell.

That Byzantine Church is Catholic?

Yes, it's Ukrainian Catholic.

[Nic]

The same God that led you to the official structure of the Catholic Church is the same God that is trying to help you see that the official structure of the Church has been overrun with a new, infiltrated, false post-conciliar religion.  God is trying to lead you the rest of the way - where the true Church still exists in full orthodoxy, not poisoned by the new religion as in the Novus Ordo.  Keep listening, studying and praying.  Open yourself completely to God and Truth and you will be inevitably led to where you need to be.

[QuisUtDeus]

Arguing with your mother won't get you anywhere, and running commentary will just make her ticked at you and dig in her heels deeper - so goes human nature.

Unless you're a child (and if you are, you shouldn't be posting on the forum, ahem), you can always refuse to go.  State that you will go to Mass but not a Mass where there is a rock band, etc.  Just state matter-of-factly you accept the fact that you and your mom disagree, and you respect her opinion since she is your mother and all, and she needs to respect yours that as an adult with a conscience you can't go there where there is, according to thousands of years of tradition (lower-case 't'), blatant disrespect for the sanctity of the Mass.

I wouldn't get into it with her, but if she presses you to defend your position, just show her the Pope's letter (I think it was Pius XII?) on the appropriate music for Mass, or any of B16's comments on liturgy.  Offer concrete reasons for your problems, do it matter-of-factly and without emotion.  Either she will come around or just keep rationalizing things, but at least then solid arguments are what are irritating her, not emotional outbursts, and solid arguments have a better chance of nudging a conscience and clearing confusion than rhetoric.

Then, you need to figure out how you can get to Mass, Byzantine or otherwise, by yourself.  Either find a ride, save up to buy a car, etc.  Because along with the ability not to listen to parents 100% of the time as adults comes the responsibility to fix things ourselves.

[CollegeCatholic]

Perhaps a neighbor or a friend could drive you to the TLM?  You said it's only 20-30 minutes away, if I recall.  Then, you all could get lunch afterwards, or something.

[Fontevrault]

Has your mother ever experienced a TLM? She can't understand what she's never experienced . . .  Perhaps it is as simple as getting her to a TLM. 

[ies0716]

Has your mother ever experienced a TLM? She can't understand what she's never experienced . . .  Perhaps it is as simple as getting her to a TLM. 

+1 on this advice.  The TLM is its own best apologist (same goes for Eastern Divine Liturgies as well).  See if you can agree to alternate for awhile.  Every other week she goes with you to the Byzantine Rite Mass, and every other week you go with her to the NO.  Keep praying for her, and after a month or two she may be a lot more receptive to your arguments.  I know I never thought that the differences between forms of the Mass were that big of a deal until I had been to a few TLM's.