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Author Topic: How do I get through to my confused mother?  (Read 1257 times)
JMartyr
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« Reply #10 on: November 08, 2010, 07:35:PM »

Has your mother ever experienced a TLM? She can't understand what she's never experienced . . .  Perhaps it is as simple as getting her to a TLM. 

+1 on this advice.  The TLM is its own best apologist (same goes for Eastern Divine Liturgies as well).  See if you can agree to alternate for awhile.  Every other week she goes with you to the Byzantine Rite Mass, and every other week you go with her to the NO.  Keep praying for her, and after a month or two she may be a lot more receptive to your arguments.  I know I never thought that the differences between forms of the Mass were that big of a deal until I had been to a few TLM's. 
  If  I am not mistaken,   I think she said in an earlier post that her mother went to the TLM an got nothing out of it.
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" When I think that we are in the building of the Holy Office, the outstanding witness of Tradition and defender of the Catholic Faith, I cannot help thinking that I am on my own territory and that it is I whom you call ' the traditionalist' who should be judging you." -  quote from Archbishop Lefebvre when questioned by the CDF


"Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre and Bishop Antonio de Castro Mayer are the two great saints of the modern Church. Once this catastrophe ends they will be instantly canonized." - Father Malachi Martin
Pax et Bonum
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« Reply #11 on: November 08, 2010, 08:45:PM »

Has your mother ever experienced a TLM? She can't understand what she's never experienced . . .  Perhaps it is as simple as getting her to a TLM. 

+1 on this advice.  The TLM is its own best apologist (same goes for Eastern Divine Liturgies as well).  See if you can agree to alternate for awhile.  Every other week she goes with you to the Byzantine Rite Mass, and every other week you go with her to the NO.  Keep praying for her, and after a month or two she may be a lot more receptive to your arguments.  I know I never thought that the differences between forms of the Mass were that big of a deal until I had been to a few TLM's. 
  If  I am not mistaken,   I think she said in an earlier post that her mother went to the TLM an got nothing out of it.

That is correct. Earlier this year, we went to Saskatoon and went to two diocesan TLMs, both of which were exquisite.

As an update, now my father seems to be an obstacle. He brought up some...interesting arguments against my desire to be a Byzantine Catholic, and also my dissent against our NO parish.

These are his reasons:

1) As a  third degree Knight of Columbus, he is to support the Roman Catholic priesthood, and if he becomes Byzantine, he isn't fulfilling that. I told him that he didn't have to be Byzantine, just that I wanted to be.

2) I'm apparently causing 'chaos' and 'confusion', so I am supposedly 'doing Satan's work'. Needless to say, this was met with some serious shock.

3) Since Pope Saint Pius V introduced Quo Primum and spoke against changing the Mass, the same authority he had is also given to Pope Paul VI, giving him the authority to fashion the NO.

4) We were at a Mass where Cardinal Marc Oullet gave a speech at the end, and so he said, "Why didn't the Cardinal speak against this Mass if he's so against it?" I mentioned that the NO is what most Catholics go to and that it's valid as long as the Consecration is, but the Pope himself believes this Mass is "an on the spot fabrication".

I actually had an emotional breakdown today, primarily out of personal issues and shock after talking to my parents in all charity about the NO and being told I'm doing Satan's work.

Chances are I'm going to be getting a ride somehow to the Byzantine church from a family member...perhaps my auntie can take me.  I talked to my mother and asked her if she could give me a ride before the NO begins, and she seemed to be considering it, but my dad put his foot down and said no.
« Last Edit: November 08, 2010, 08:48:PM by Pax et Bonum » Logged
Pax et Bonum
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« Reply #12 on: November 08, 2010, 08:47:PM »

Thank you all for the excellent advice.
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QuisUtDeus
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« Reply #13 on: November 08, 2010, 09:17:PM »

1) As a  third degree Knight of Columbus, he is to support the Roman Catholic priesthood, and if he becomes Byzantine, he isn't fulfilling that. I told him that he didn't have to be Byzantine, just that I wanted to be.

That doesn't make any sense.  Byzantine Rite priests in union with Rome are Catholic priests...   Huh?

And you don't have to switch rites to go to a Byzantine Mass anyhow....
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Pax et Bonum
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« Reply #14 on: November 08, 2010, 09:36:PM »

1) As a  third degree Knight of Columbus, he is to support the Roman Catholic priesthood, and if he becomes Byzantine, he isn't fulfilling that. I told him that he didn't have to be Byzantine, just that I wanted to be.

That doesn't make any sense.  Byzantine Rite priests in union with Rome are Catholic priests...   Huh?

And you don't have to switch rites to go to a Byzantine Mass anyhow....

I know. It's odd. He's being very unusual about the whole thing.

As for the idea of alternating for a while, ies0716, I'm afraid that's out of the question. My father's put his foot down and my mother likes the NO. Their only exception is the one TLM in Regina each month.
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Lagrange
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Location: Australia
Posts: 414



« Reply #15 on: November 09, 2010, 01:15:AM »

Pax et Bonum, if you can discuss with your, tell him he has a distorted view on unity. Of course, a characteristic of satan's activity is chaos and so on, but not necessarily. especially if one is responding to true chaos, i.e.: that Mass full of nonsense. Christ caused a bit of chaos I'm sure when He overturned tables in the Temple. But he wasn't doing satan's work.

Bring it up if you can. if you can't, just pray for your father. (Try) take it easy amidst all this. Remember that the Church is a paradox in a way. It is the Bride of Christ, perfect without blemish; yet also, can be replete in ruin and sin (due to its members). Always distinguish the Church as such from the humans in it. Otherwise you run the risk of apostasy (thinking of the sins of its members and so rejecting the Faith outright).  Or schism, in thinking because the state of the Church is bad in some ways, that it is not the Catholic Church (which then becomes some  surreal ideal but non-existent). I'm not trying to overload you in this troubled time for you, but they're necessary considerations. God bless.



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Saint Thomas Aquinas' simple yet profound advice concerning sanctity (said to his sister): "Will it"
Pax et Bonum
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« Reply #16 on: November 09, 2010, 02:16:AM »

Thank you kindly for the advice.

I have tried to talk to him about the various Catholic rites so he understood that various regions worship in different ways. He didn't really say much except, "if you want to get there (the Byzantine church), take a cab."

Oh, believe me, I would never apostatize or become a schismatic. I love the Church and in a few years, I will be entering the Ursuline novitiate to become the blessed Lord's bride.

I see the current "Mass confusion", if you will, as a kind of Purgatory. Once things calm down, I'll be strengthened in patience and fortitude. :D
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Raskolnikov
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
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« Reply #17 on: November 09, 2010, 05:31:AM »

E-mail the priest at the Byzantine Catholic parish. Explain your situation, and that you would really like to visit his church and perhaps even become a regular attendee there. Ask him if he could help you to find a parishoner who lives near you who could offer you a ride on Sunday mornings. There might be some families who live very close to you.
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Pax et Bonum
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« Reply #18 on: November 09, 2010, 05:40:AM »

E-mail the priest at the Byzantine Catholic parish. Explain your situation, and that you would really like to visit his church and perhaps even become a regular attendee there. Ask him if he could help you to find a parishoner who lives near you who could offer you a ride on Sunday mornings. There might be some families who live very close to you.

Great idea! Thank you!
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3Sanctus
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Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia
Posts: 2,764



« Reply #19 on: November 09, 2010, 10:48:AM »

Should you attend the Byzantine parish, read up on Byzantine traditions, the Divine Liturgy, and how they show reverence before you attend Divine Liturgy there.  While they show (at least) as much reverence as the Roman Rite, it's done differently.

Being the dork I am, I love experiencing the Divine Liturgy once in a while and praying as they pray - though I tend to get confused about the different direction of crossing myself, so I just stick to the Roman way of doing it, lol.

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Ora pro nobis, Sancta Mater Dei.

"Amen, amen I say to you, before Abraham was made, I AM."  -Our Lord

"I cannot persuade myself that without love to others, and without, as far as rests with me, peaceableness towards all, I can be called a worthy servant of Jesus Christ."  -St. Basil the Great, Letter 203
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