Discontinuing my EMHC service.

[dark lancer]

I was roped into becoming an EMHC a couple years ago after going to an informational meeting about it at my parish.  At the end of the meeting, those who wanted to become EMHCs were asked to sign a book, and I did not and got talked into serving on a substitute basis anyway which ended up resulting in me getting scheduled for regular Masses without first being asked.

This was all before I knew about what EMHCs are truly intended for.

Now I want to stop being an EMHC and a reader (we are called "lectors" by the priest).  What are some documents I could offer concerning the intended function of the EMHC as an explanation for my resignation?  I'm surely going to be asked why I want to quit, and I doubt that I will convince anyone with personal reasons alone.  I just want to avoid having the parish secretary whisper loudly at me during Mass again to tell me that I have to go to the altar.

[CollegeCatholic]

1)  I don't want to, anymore.
2)  My schedule has changed such that I will not know in advance what Mass I will be attending. 

[dark lancer]

1)  I don't want to, anymore.
2)  My schedule has changed such that I will not know in advance what Mass I will be attending. 

2. That would be lying.  I always go to the same Mass every week and I had no intention of stopping.  Besides, if I am at a Mass and they want someone to go and "assist" the priest, I will probably be expected to do so.

[miss_fluffy]

Call the secretary and tell her to take you off the list, that you no longer wish to be an extraordinary minister.  If she asks why simply tell her that you prayed about it, and realized that it's just not for you.  If she pushes, just tell her no, that it's not up for discussion.  If she continues to push, ask her if your non-participation is going to cause a problem that makes you unwelcome at the parish.  Sometimes you have to be tough with busy bodies.

[dark lancer]

Call the secretary and tell her to take you off the list, that you no longer wish to be an extraordinary minister.  If she asks why simply tell her that you prayed about it, and realized that it's just not for you.  If she pushes, just tell her no, that it's not up for discussion.  If she continues to push, ask her if your non-participation is going to cause a problem that makes you unwelcome at the parish.  Sometimes you have to be tough with busy bodies.

It's hard to want to push too hard; this is not an anonymous parish where everyone is just a face.

[miss_fluffy]

For some reason your situation reminds me of dealing with my chiropractors office.  They do this electro-stim therapy and I just don't like it.  I don't like waiting to go home while this thing is shocking me.  I don't like having my shirt lifted up in the back in front of other patients in the "therapy room".  I don't like having the sticky electro-stim thingees that have touched God-knows-who touching my skin.  Yuk yuk yuk.. I feel awful just talking about it.

But I get a great deal of benefit from the chiropractic adjustments, so after putting up with the stim treatments for awhile, I decided that it was stupid, that I'm in charge of my life, and I don't have to be subjected to something that I dislike so very much.  So I told the chiropractor "I don't want to do the stim therapy any more."  He asked me why and I said, "because I don't like it".  Then he started going over the benefits of the stim therapy.  I said "are you willing to continue to treat me if I refuse to undergo the stim therapy?"  And he said "well... no, it is your choice I guess".  "Good!  I'll see you next week then!"

Think firm but friendly.  This is the most honest approach.  It's not honest to keep doing something you don't agree with just to keep the peace with people.  I don't think you should make a political issue out of it, but I also don't think you should lie.  Just say no.  People will respect you for standing up for your right to choose your own actions.

[dark lancer]

For some reason your situation reminds me of dealing with my chiropractors office.  They do this electro-stim therapy and I just don't like it.  I don't like waiting to go home while this thing is shocking me.  I don't like having my shirt lifted up in the back in front of other patients in the "therapy room".  I don't like having the sticky electro-stim thingees that have touched God-knows-who touching my skin.  Yuk yuk yuk.. I feel awful just talking about it.

But I get a great deal of benefit from the chiropractic adjustments, so after putting up with the stim treatments for awhile, I decided that it was stupid, that I'm in charge of my life, and I don't have to be subjected to something that I dislike so very much.  So I told the chiropractor "I don't want to do the stim therapy any more."  He asked me why and I said, "because I don't like it".  Then he started going over the benefits of the stim therapy.  I said "are you willing to continue to treat me if I refuse to undergo the stim therapy?"  And he said "well... no, it is your choice I guess".  "Good!  I'll see you next week then!"

Think firm but friendly.  This is the most honest approach.  It's not honest to keep doing something you don't agree with just to keep the peace with people.  I don't think you should make a political issue out of it, but I also don't think you should lie.  Just say no.  People will respect you for standing up for your right to choose your own actions.

I know what you mean, it's just that parish leaders here use tactics to convince people that they should be doing things that they don't want to do.  I just want to be prepared in case I'm not taken seriously and in the future when someone loudly whispers from pews away during the quietest part of Mass for me to go to the altar.

[JayneK]

I used to be an EMHC (to the homebound) and a lector.  A major factor for me deciding to quit was coming to see these as inappropriate for laity, but I did not give that as a reason.  I did not want to get into that kind of debate.  It was not a lie to emphasize other reasons that would be less confrontational.  I am also a member of the choir so I said that I was involved in too many activities and wanted to focus on that one.  Perhaps there is some activity you can do in good conscience at your parish.  Saying that you are switching activities is easier than quitting, especially without a reason that will be seen as acceptable.

[MichaelNZ]

Here is some information that will help you: http://www.catholicapologetics.info/modernproblems/newmass/extmin.htm

Tell her that St. Thomas Aquinas wrote in his Summa Theologica that only consecrated hands may touch the Blessed Sacrament. You're not a priest, so your hands aren't consecrated. Therefore, you cannot touch the Blessed Sacrament.

[dark lancer]

Here is some information that will help you: http://www.catholicapologetics.info/modernproblems/newmass/extmin.htm

Tell her that St. Thomas Aquinas wrote in his Summa Theologica that only consecrated hands may touch the Blessed Sacrament. You're not a priest, so your hands aren't consecrated. Therefore, you cannot touch the Blessed Sacrament.

That's an interesting document...  I wonder if I should print it out and discreetly leave it in a place where the priest would find it.