Vetus Ordo
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« Reply #20 on: January 07, 2011, 07:01:PM » |
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She can only leave her husband if there is no sin involved. Only a priest and probably an ecclesiastical tribunal can determine that.
Her soul and the welfare of her children are more important than any transient happiness.
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"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
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JayneK
Gold Fish

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« Reply #21 on: January 07, 2011, 07:21:PM » |
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Ignore Iolanthe. The conditions under which it is moral to get a divorce are quite rare and there is no indication in what you have said so far that it applies to your situation. Nobody is capable of giving this kind of advice based on online information. Talk to a priest.
It's both rude and arrogant for you to tell her to ignore me. Also, you were not a member of the forum when she posted that her husband threatened her physically. That is certainly more than enough reason for at least a separation. I agree that she should talk to a priest, and I hope he is good strong priest who will tell her she needs to leave him. If you give advice that is contrary to Catholic teaching, then I am going to tell people to ignore you. You had no business writing such a thing.
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ADORABLE Saviour, consider my many wants, and grant me those graces which Thou knowest I stand in need of to do Thy will in all things.
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Scipio_a
No, you're not a trad...you're a BITTER zealot.
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« Reply #22 on: January 08, 2011, 01:19:AM » |
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Ignore Iolanthe. The conditions under which it is moral to get a divorce are quite rare and there is no indication in what you have said so far that it applies to your situation. Nobody is capable of giving this kind of advice based on online information. Talk to a priest.
It's both rude and arrogant for you to tell her to ignore me. Also, you were not a member of the forum when she posted that her husband threatened her physically. That is certainly more than enough reason for at least a separation. I agree that she should talk to a priest, and I hope he is good strong priest who will tell her she needs to leave him. If you give advice that is contrary to Catholic teaching, then I am going to tell people to ignore you. You had no business writing such a thing. Ignore Jayne...she regularly makes personal opinion into Catholic dogma.... Additionally, it is not likely a sin for her to leave her husband if he has done what she says he has done and is doing what she has said or says he is currently doing. It might not be the proper solution but it might be. They were married prots...that means by default that there is no real bar to leaving or divorce. Especially since she wants to be Catholic and her husband is HINDERING her convertion...duh
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« Last Edit: January 08, 2011, 04:18:AM by Scipio_a »
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"Scipio Bull Biscuits, a flawlessly indoctrinated feminist male." - paraphrased from voxpop in one of his shining moments!! "You've become a full adept to your kabbalistic philosemetism ...why not get it over with and fully convert to Judaism. At lest that would be respectable." - Popscile "[Scipio's] high on mouth and low on brains" - a brainiac "...all I can guess is that maybe you're gay and haven't figured it out yet."  ....LOL "a malicious twerp" - A candylander "I ain't no freakin' monument to justice!" -Moonstruck "Check out the big brain on Brad" - Jules
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Iolanthe
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"If one can't be happy one must be amused"
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« Reply #23 on: January 08, 2011, 03:32:AM » |
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She can only leave her husband if there is no sin involved. Only a priest and probably an ecclesiastical tribunal can determine that.
Her soul and the welfare of her children are more important than any transient happiness.
Her husband is deliberately trying to prevent her from saving her soul. This has nothing to do with happiness. And abuse (which is clearly taking place) is more than enough reason why it would not be sinful for her to leave him. I am sure that any good priest would support this and I hope she consults one as soon as possible.
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"Tenthly, one should pour tea into the cup first. This is one of the most controversial points of all; indeed in every family in Britain there are probably two schools of thought on the subject. The milk-first school can bring forward some fairly strong arguments, but I maintain that my own argument is unanswerable. This is that, by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk, whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round." George Orwell
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Iolanthe
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"If one can't be happy one must be amused"
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« Reply #24 on: January 08, 2011, 03:57:AM » |
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Ignore Jayne...she regularly makes personal opinion into Catholic dogma....
Yes. There's something alarmingly protestant about this tendency, which is probably why she's more on the protestants husband's side.
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« Last Edit: January 08, 2011, 04:06:AM by Iolanthe »
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"Tenthly, one should pour tea into the cup first. This is one of the most controversial points of all; indeed in every family in Britain there are probably two schools of thought on the subject. The milk-first school can bring forward some fairly strong arguments, but I maintain that my own argument is unanswerable. This is that, by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk, whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round." George Orwell
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The_Harlequin_King
Protector of the Internet!
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« Reply #25 on: January 08, 2011, 04:10:AM » |
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This is a prime example of my reference to Stepford wives vs. feminazis when it comes to Jayne and Iolanthe.
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Please read and subscribe to my blog: Modern Medievalism. Applying old-world solutions to new-world problems.  Praying for the dead is important. PM me if you need a cantor for the Requiem Mass of a deceased friend or family member. Have cassock and surplice, will travel. (Will also do weddings for a reasonable price.)
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Stubborn
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« Reply #26 on: January 08, 2011, 04:12:AM » |
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That husband of yours needs to have his head squeezed in a vice and left like that till he....eeerrrrrrr. I know there are always two sides to every story, and so far in as we only know one side, here's my .02.
The husband is indeed the head - don't ever forget that the women is the heart.
The heart tends to stop beating when the husbands head is so far up his own ass that he can't breath.
You cannot simply divorce the guy - that creates a whole 'nother problem. You cannot mince words with him as it seems to only create losing arguments. You cannot shoot the jackass. Seems like they'll (your husband and his dementor) never admit they're preaching from the wrong bible. Next time they start throwing "chapter and verse" around, remind them about 2 Peter 3:16: As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are certain things hard to be understood, which the unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, to their own destruction.
Sometimes separation is an option. It might be a temporary separation "from bed and board" is warranted, but you really need to seek the counsel of a trad priest.
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It is the Mass that matters.
But because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold, not hot, I will begin to vomit thee out of my mouth. -Apocalypse 3:16
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The_Harlequin_King
Protector of the Internet!
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« Reply #27 on: January 08, 2011, 04:20:AM » |
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Does this guy have any hobbies besides theology? Based on the description, he sounds pretty tied up in being pope of his realm.
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Please read and subscribe to my blog: Modern Medievalism. Applying old-world solutions to new-world problems.  Praying for the dead is important. PM me if you need a cantor for the Requiem Mass of a deceased friend or family member. Have cassock and surplice, will travel. (Will also do weddings for a reasonable price.)
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JayneK
Gold Fish

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Posts: 14,347
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« Reply #28 on: January 08, 2011, 08:31:AM » |
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Additionally, it is not likely a sin for her to leave her husband if he has done what she says he has done and is doing what she has said or says he is currently doing. It might not be the proper solution but it might be. They were married prots...that means by default that there is no real bar to leaving or divorce. Especially since she wants to be Catholic and her husband is HINDERING her convertion...duh
I never said it was a sin to leave her husband. I was talking about Catholic teaching on divorce which you apparently do not understand any better than Iolanthe does. Leaving aside this question, tradmom has been writing about one of the ways her husband has been preventing her from following her conscience and becoming Catholic is by threatening to divorce her. Telling her to get a divorce is simply not paying attention to the OP's questions and concerns. Yet again someone has written in with serious problems seeking help and it has been derailed by people projecting their own issues and quarrels into it. Could you please confine your attacks on me to threads where it does not interfere with people getting help. And perhaps someone could start a thread on what the Church actually says about divorce so we can clear up these misunderstandings without derailing important threads.
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ADORABLE Saviour, consider my many wants, and grant me those graces which Thou knowest I stand in need of to do Thy will in all things.
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Iolanthe
Member
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Personality type: broken record
Posts: 5,220
"If one can't be happy one must be amused"
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« Reply #29 on: January 08, 2011, 08:53:AM » |
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I never said it was a sin to leave her husband. I was talking about Catholic teaching on divorce which you apparently do not understand any better than Iolanthe does.
Leaving aside this question, tradmom has been writing about one of the ways her husband has been preventing her from following her conscience and becoming Catholic is by threatening to divorce her. Telling her to get a divorce is simply not paying attention to the OP's questions and concerns.
Actually, I did pay attention to exactly that, and it is part of the reason the OP needs to seriously consider taking this step. He is trying to intimidate her with his divorce threats, when in fact she is the one with grounds for divorce. If she shows him she is serious, which she should be, because he is a danger to her temporal and spiritual well-being, it may have the added benefit of making him realize he is not the one with all the power, which is something that needs to be made clear to him. For some reason, you find it necessary to split hairs about separation vs. divorce. This is not the issue here, as I am sure that if she does consult a priest he will be able to explain those distinctions much better than you or I or any other poster here would be able to do. Yet again someone has written in with serious problems seeking help and it has been derailed by people projecting their own issues and quarrels into it. Could you please confine your attacks on me to threads where it does not interfere with people getting help.
And perhaps someone could start a thread on what the Church actually says about divorce so we can clear up these misunderstandings without derailing important threads.
I was responding directly to traditionalmom's request for help and you are the one who derailed the thread by taking issue with my advice and becoming personal. Your need to be overly technical and critical of other's posts is completely inappropriate in this thread.
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« Last Edit: January 08, 2011, 08:55:AM by Iolanthe »
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"Tenthly, one should pour tea into the cup first. This is one of the most controversial points of all; indeed in every family in Britain there are probably two schools of thought on the subject. The milk-first school can bring forward some fairly strong arguments, but I maintain that my own argument is unanswerable. This is that, by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk, whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round." George Orwell
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