Should men treat female posters as ladies?

[moneil]

An interesting question JaneK.

I appreciate that most posters indicate their gender (and many indicate their age in their profile, which I’ll look at, or their age range might be surmised from reading their posts over time), and both these factors subconscious affect my approach or demeanor toward them, I’m sure, just as it would in real life.  This is in large part a matrix to understand their experiential background and how they might approach a topic.

That said, in the heat of the debate I tend to have people in three “genderless” categories: nuters, angry rantors, thoughtful responders (the latter category includes many with whom I disagree, but I understand the logic and respect the sincerity of their position, and they are capable of being cognizant of reality when it conflicts with their presuppositions).   At times subcategories of “total jerk” or “donkey’s hind end” might apply (in my perception) to someone in any of the three categories.  I try to keep myself in the third category (without the subcategories), though I may not always be successful at that.

Profanity shouldn’t be used here, regardless of gender or age.

Otherwise, as we generally strive to deal with ideas rather than personalities I don’t think I do (or should) show any particular deference to another poster based on their gender, but rather, to treat all with common courtesy, understanding, and respect.

[DesperatelySeeking]

Are women expected to treat men with deference and respect?

And so what if they don't?  That doesn't change your obligation to be a gentleman.  It's easy to be nice to someone who's being nice to you.  What counts is when you maintain your courtesy in a difficult situation.

[Mithrandylan]

Are women expected to treat men with deference and respect?

And so what if they don't?  That doesn't change your obligation to be a gentleman.  It's easy to be nice to someone who's being nice to you.  What counts is when you maintain your courtesy in a difficult situation.

I think what is being said is that being a gentleman does not always entail default deference based on gender. 

[The Curt Jester]

To the original question:  why not?   A person is no less a person just because a computer screen separates them from the next person.   While I admit I can tend to be on the sarcastic side, I do try to treat other people with the respect that they deserve.   So as others have said, it sometimes depends on what their behavior warrants.  While I do my best never to be impolite, my tone will certainly change depending on how another person is acting.   Anyway, that's in regard to ladies.

And then there are some people who don't deserve that title.  Those would be the people who scowl at me or give me some such dirty look when I open a door for them, or are insulted when I let them go through a line or something.   Those people apparently wish to be treated like men instead of woman, so...  Perhaps if they realized how men treat each other they wouldn't be so anxious to be on "equal terms".  Heh.

[Melita]

Internet users who are unable to understand that posters are real human beings, not just words on a screen, are all over the place. Youtube's comments sections are full of them!

[cgraye]

There are girls are the Internet? 

I didn't read through this thread, so if anyone has already made that joke, please disregard and go back to whatever you were doing.

[Spooky]

There are girls are the Internet? 

I didn't read through this thread, so if anyone has already made that joke, please disregard and go back to whatever you were doing.

GIRL=Guy In Real Life
 

[SouthpawLink]

That's a very good question, Jayne.

Sometimes, I do catch myself trying to be gentler when responding to a woman's post, although in general -- or at least in the heat of an argument -- I tend to focus on the words on the screen, rather than on someone's sex.  Regardless if it's a man or a woman that I'm responding to, I always try to be polite and avoid the obvious no-nos.  I do get upset with people sometimes, but I know I shouldn't post gut-reactions.

Honestly, I think we should post in a respectful manner regardless who's on the other side, be it a man or a woman.  But I could see situations where a guy would be more comfortable joking with another guy, whereas with a female, you want to be careful not to say anything that could be interpreted as being indecent (and I don't necessarily mean potty humor).  So, I do agree in a way, but we should always (or at least almost always) be on our best behavior.

[Walty]

I generally treat females as ladies as long as they uphold their end of the deal.  Online and off.

This.

[The Curt Jester]

I generally treat females as ladies as long as they uphold their end of the deal.  Online and off.

This.

Me too.  I'm slowly learning which ones here want to be treated like men, though.