cgraye
Gold Fish
Gender: 
Location: Maryland, United States of America
Personality type: Melancholic
Posts: 7,067
|
|
« Reply #200 on: July 10, 2011, 09:38:AM » |
|
It always made me mad that Princess Leia went for Han instead of Luke Attraction in and of itself isn't a choice; it's irrational and gratuitous. A man can't force a woman to be attracted to him by doing good works. But a woman CAN choose to shape her attractions to good things, and to indulge an attraction or not. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Chris
|
|
|
Vetus Ordo
Member
Gender:
Personality type: Sinner
Posts: 18,069
|
|
« Reply #201 on: July 10, 2011, 10:17:AM » |
|
It always made me mad that Princess Leia went for Han instead of Luke Attraction in and of itself isn't a choice; it's irrational and gratuitous. A man can't force a woman to be attracted to him by doing good works. But a woman CAN choose to shape her attractions to good things, and to indulge an attraction or not. No, she can't. Anymore than you can force yourself to feel genuinely attracted to fat ugly girls. You can't. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
|
|
|
JayneK
Gold Fish
Gender: 
Personality type: INTJ
Posts: 14,427
|
|
« Reply #202 on: July 10, 2011, 10:23:AM » |
|
But a woman CAN choose to shape her attractions to good things, and to indulge an attraction or not.
No, she can't. Anymore than you can force yourself to feel genuinely attracted to fat ugly girls. You can't. I'm not sure how malleable it is, but, to some extent, physical attraction is influenced by emotions. For example, the more a man looks like my husband, the more physically attractive I find him. I am reasonably certain that I am not hard-wired for attraction to grey-haired middle-aged men. I was not interested in them when I was young, but that is my current "type". |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ADORABLE Saviour, consider my many wants, and grant me those graces which Thou knowest I stand in need of to do Thy will in all things.
|
|
|
Vetus Ordo
Member
Gender:
Personality type: Sinner
Posts: 18,069
|
|
« Reply #203 on: July 10, 2011, 10:30:AM » |
|
But a woman CAN choose to shape her attractions to good things, and to indulge an attraction or not.
No, she can't. Anymore than you can force yourself to feel genuinely attracted to fat ugly girls. You can't. I'm not sure how malleable it is, but, to some extent, physical attraction is influenced by emotions. For example, the more a man looks like my husband, the more physically attractive I find him. I am reasonably certain that I am not hard-wired for attraction to grey-haired middle-aged men. I was not interested in them when I was young, but that is my current "type". And emotions aren't a choice either. The point is that when you met the man who came to be your husband, there were already certain traits in him that sparked the attraction without which any development in the relationship would be impossible. It wasn't a conscious choice and you certainly didn't force yourself to be attracted to him. That's impossible. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
|
|
|
JayneK
Gold Fish
Gender:
Personality type: INTJ
Posts: 14,427
|
|
« Reply #204 on: July 10, 2011, 10:46:AM » |
|
But a woman CAN choose to shape her attractions to good things, and to indulge an attraction or not.
No, she can't. Anymore than you can force yourself to feel genuinely attracted to fat ugly girls. You can't. I'm not sure how malleable it is, but, to some extent, physical attraction is influenced by emotions. For example, the more a man looks like my husband, the more physically attractive I find him. I am reasonably certain that I am not hard-wired for attraction to grey-haired middle-aged men. I was not interested in them when I was young, but that is my current "type". And emotions aren't a choice either. The point is that when you met the man who came to be your husband, there were already certain traits in him that sparked the attraction without which any development in the relationship would be impossible. It wasn't a conscious choice and you certainly didn't force yourself to be attracted to him. That's impossible. I have a "spark" of attraction for about 90% of men. I choose the men with whom I follow up on that spark. Now that I am married I choose to ignore it in everyone but my husband. Before I was married, I made conscious decisions about which relationships were worth pursuing. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ADORABLE Saviour, consider my many wants, and grant me those graces which Thou knowest I stand in need of to do Thy will in all things.
|
|
|
|
|
Vetus Ordo
Member
Gender:
Personality type: Sinner
Posts: 18,069
|
|
« Reply #205 on: July 10, 2011, 10:51:AM » |
|
I have a "spark" of attraction for about 90% of men. Well, you're not very picky, are you? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
|
|
|
JayneK
Gold Fish
Gender:
Personality type: INTJ
Posts: 14,427
|
|
« Reply #206 on: July 10, 2011, 11:01:AM » |
|
I have a "spark" of attraction for about 90% of men. Well, you're not very picky, are you? Perhaps I am not typical in this, but I find men, in general, attractive. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ADORABLE Saviour, consider my many wants, and grant me those graces which Thou knowest I stand in need of to do Thy will in all things.
|
|
|
Someone1776
"The Derailer"
Member
Posts: 10,406
Neo-Candylander
|
|
« Reply #207 on: July 10, 2011, 11:16:AM » |
|
It always made me mad that Princess Leia went for Han instead of Luke (forgetting about the fact that they are brother and sister, which was obviously thrown in there at the last minute to tie up some things in the last movie). Luke was willing to risk his life to save her, while Han would have let her rot if he hadn't been promised a load of cash. Luke treats her with kindness, Han acts like a jerk toward her. Luke throws his heart and soul into her cause, Han takes his money and runs, only to come back at the last second and take half the credit once everyone else has died doing the real work. And if she just had to have a scoundrel, she passed up another better choice:  I mean, look at this dude. Now that's smooth. Plus, he owns his own mining operation and Han owes money to a gangster. Who is going to be a better provider? He also has a far superior fashion sense. Look at that cape - now that's stylin'. Plus he has the smoothest opening line ever - "Hellooooo, what have we here?" That should have been it right there. So the selfless hero and the smooth, successful businessman get passed up in favor of Han Solo, whose only accomplishment is being a the biggest bum in the galaxy. Nice move there, Princess. Women  Luke and Leia were meant to be brother and sister by Empire Strikes Back. This is why Yoda says "there is another skywalker" and this is why Leia uses the force to find Luke at the end. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Christianity lies in achieving greatness in the face of the world's hatred." - Saint Ignatius of Antioch
|
|
|
cgraye
Gold Fish
Gender:
Location: Maryland, United States of America
Personality type: Melancholic
Posts: 7,067
|
|
« Reply #208 on: July 10, 2011, 11:38:AM » |
|
No, she can't.
Anymore than you can force yourself to feel genuinely attracted to fat ugly girls. You can't.
There is more to attraction than just physical attraction. Especially for women. Often in life we find out (usually through some unfortunate experiences) that what we are attracted to is not a good thing to be attracted to, and we have to make an effort to change that. And sometimes we find that there is something good we are attracted to, like good looks, but focus on it too much and ignore other important things, and pay the price for it. And while you may not be able to help your feelings in the moment, you can absolutely choose which feelings to indulge, which feelings to act on, and which feelings to ignore. You can choose you spend your time with, who you give a chance to, and who you reject. And we do certainly change these things throughout our lives. The type of girl I am attracted to now is not the same as the type of girl I was attracted to in high school, and I'm sure many people can say the same. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Chris
|
|
|
cgraye
Gold Fish
Gender:
Location: Maryland, United States of America
Personality type: Melancholic
Posts: 7,067
|
|
« Reply #209 on: July 10, 2011, 11:41:AM » |
|
Luke and Leia were meant to be brother and sister by Empire Strikes Back. This is why Yoda says "there is another skywalker" and this is why Leia uses the force to find Luke at the end.
Luke was meant to have a sister, but it was not Princess Leia until Return of the Jedi. Otherwise, that kiss at the beginning of Empire would be beyond even Lucas-levels of wrong. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Chris
|
|
|
|
