Being Happy As A Traditional Catholic

[dymphna17]

Yes, those things are true if you are called to that life.  You are surrounded by like-minded individuals who's goal in life is to be happy with God and are all working toward that goal.  People who have to live in the world, i.e. married, don't necessarily have the benefit of those surroundings, hence my question.  If you are married to someone who does not have that same goal, but merely attains to "be happy", it's going to be more difficult to stay focused.  Often times being branded as a sour faced Catholic simply because you are more serious about life.

If you are isolated, suffering from depression, and live your life in front of a television, you're not going to make much spiritual progress.  If you surround yourself with the good people and things that God gives and make your spiritual life most important, you should be happy.  A balance. Right?

[Mithrandylan]

Dymphna the things of this world can make us feel nice and even happy, but they will not help depression.  Meaning that if you're a little down in the dumps or maybe had a rough day you can find solace in a few beers or the arms of a loved one or even by listening to music or watching a particularly favorite tv show.  But we're not talking (as far as I can tell) about having a down day.  We're talking about depression, a consistent and rooted sadness.  An increase in spiritual life is the only way to fix that. 

Our souls are made for God.  It's not like God is a conduit to some sort of happiness or that our souls are made for happiness and that God is one way to find it.  No, they are made specifically for Him.  He alone can guarantee happiness.  I know i'm preaching to the choir.

[K3vinhood]

If you are married to someone who does not have that same goal, but merely attains to "be happy", it's going to be more difficult to stay focused.  Often times being branded as a sour faced Catholic simply because you are more serious about life.

It's very difficult to get other people to care and it does sometimes hurt our focus. And you're certainly right about how people who take it seriously being branded as sour faced, that even happens on this forum. I think we just need to deal with these things as it's all part of the struggle.

If you are isolated, suffering from depression, and live your life in front of a television, you're not going to make much spiritual progress.  If you surround yourself with the good people and things that God gives and make your spiritual life most important, you should be happy.  A balance. Right?

In that case, Yes. Good friends do help and keep a balance in your life.

Seeking pleasures from the world will not help you if you have depression though, it's only a distraction. Your spiritual life always has to come first like you said.

It's better (albeit more difficult) to fight depression with prayer, repentance, and struggle. But this is probably the only way to actually be completely and totally happy.

So yes, good friends and things can help us and do help us move along with life. But we can't rely on them to get us out of our problems and/or depression. Only Christ can actually do that.

[miss_fluffy]

Unfortunately, this is not a problem you can solve for someone else, especially not a parent.  If someone is suffering from depression or general malaise, they have to make efforts to figure out what's causing the problem, and work to fix it. In my experience, boredom can lead to depression and despair.  As long as I give myself meaningful activities, I don't fall into it.  But it's hard to convince someone in the middle of a depression that sitting around watching TV all day is making their situation worse.  Although, it's worth a try.

If she is open to recommendations, I'd recommend she volunteer at a food kitchen or something.  She needs to find something that engages her and rewards her, improving her sense of self worth.  I'd also recommend reading St. Therese the little flower's Story of A Soul.  True happiness is that which exists even in the midst of suffering, and I love the way St. Therese describes that in her writing.

Certainly God calls us to be happy, and I think that sometimes depression is a sign that we are not walking the path He means for us.  But we should be careful not to take that too dramatically.  Some people will take things like "walk a different path" to mean that they must do something drastic like get a divorce or go to another country or whatever.  It can be small subtle things, like taking a part-time job, taking up a hobby, or joining the altar society.  Frankly, I don't think sitting around watching TV is something that God has in mind for any of us.

[dymphna17]

Thank you all for your replies.  I do believe I'm on a steady path and maybe that will help my Mom.  Please keep her in your prayers as I will keep you in mine.   

[Jacafamala]

I think that happiness is a very fickle, very mercurial sort of an emotion to go running after. Happiness is what the world gives us--sometimes. It's like the old saying, some days we get chicken (happiness) other days feathers (not so happy).

But peace and joy come from being right with God, regardless of what our circumstances are. Jesus paid such a horrible price for us. And it's hard work for a sinner making good by that. Very hard. One of the many things I really like about traditional Catholicism--besides the fact that it's just plain truth, is that we don't go painting rainbows and blowing up balloons. Being a traditional Catholic is serious stuff.  We don't come into the chapel smiling and patting each other on the back, singing and clapping our hands. That to me is so phony. You know? Like the Pentecostal and holy roller churches that whip themselves up into a frenzy in order to make themselves feel better.

[UnamSanctam]

Love God by following His commandments, and believing in the Catholic Faith. Doing this you will bear fruits of charity and compassion for your fellow man. Do not seek after complete knowledge of all things (only God is omniscient). Never seek true comfort in this world for there shall be none.

"Earthly riches are like the reed. Its roots are sunk in the swamp, and its exterior is fair to behold; but inside it is hollow. If a man leans on such a reed, it will snap off and pierce his soul."
-- St. Anthony of Padua

[Vetus Ordo]

"And thou shalt love the Lord thy God, with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind, and with thy whole strength. This is the first commandment. And the second is like to it: Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is no other commandment greater than these."

Enough said.

[SimplyCatholic]

Certainly God calls us to be happy, and I think that sometimes depression is a sign that we are not walking the path He means for us. 

I agree with Miss Fluffy.  The Church says (through St. Thomas Aquinas in the Summa, if I remember correctly--and possibly the Catechism) that man is created to seek his own happiness, and he cannot do otherwise.  In the Act of Charity, we say "O my God, I love Thee...because Thou art all-good and worthy of all love..."  Hence, loving Him is right and good for us (i.e., will make us happy).  Loving God, by being good, may cause problems for us on a human level but in the end it will lead to the unimaginable happiness of heaven.  So yes, happiness is a legitimate objective; the key is to be logical about it. 

For example, spending every paycheck on booze, chocolate, gizmos, etc., while living in a shanty and piling up debt may make you "happy" in the short run.  At least, presumably, in terms of immediate sense gratification--assuming you can ignore the roaches and mold growing in the refrigerator.  But is this happiness to be compared with that which would come from saving each paycheck until you can, slowly, afford to move out of the shanty into livable quarters and live like a debt-free human being? 

The problem of modern man is not the pursuit of happiness so much as a false definition happiness.  Of course, emancipation from principles and denial of the immortality of the soul doesn't help, either. 

[wallflower]

I think that happiness is a very fickle, very mercurial sort of an emotion to go running after. Happiness is what the world gives us--sometimes. It's like the old saying, some days we get chicken (happiness) other days feathers (not so happy). 

But peace and joy come from being right with God, regardless of what our circumstances are. Jesus paid such a horrible price for us. And it's hard work for a sinner making good by that. Very hard. One of the many things I really like about traditional Catholicism--besides the fact that it's just plain truth, is that we don't go painting rainbows and blowing up balloons. Being a traditional Catholic is serious stuff.  We don't come into the chapel smiling and patting each other on the back, singing and clapping our hands. That to me is so phony. You know? Like the Pentecostal and holy roller churches that whip themselves up into a frenzy in order to make themselves feel better.

This is exactly it. The modern definition is based on the fleeting feeling of happiness. We, on the other hand, should recognize that there is more to it than the emotion. Feeling happy is nice but when it isn't there, our Faith still affords us the opportunity and the ability to cultivate a deeper joy and be at peace, both of which are much more stable and lasting than the feeling of happiness. 

I've never heard the chicken saying but I have heard "Somedays you're the pigeon, somedays you're the statue."