The Curse Of OCPD

[Jackson K. Eskew]

I already have and read the second of the two[/b]. Truth be told, it makes God out to be a sadistic bully to me, and as Someone to not get close to. For any moment, like the Prophet Job of old, I could be struck down with anything and NOT be told why.

To me, that isn't true love but abuse, like that which I've grown up with. That makes me untrusting of Our Lord Jesus, rather than the opposite.

You've dismissed both Heliotropium and now this great little work by St. Alphonsus, Doctor of the Universal Church. They're not telling you what you want to hear. Reconsider whether they're the ones who've got it wrong.

[HailGilbert]

I already have and read the second of the two. Truth be told, it makes God out to be a sadistic bully to me, and as Someone to not get close to. For any moment, like the Prophet Job of old, I could be struck down with anything and NOT be told why.

To me, that isn't true love but abuse, like that which I've grown up with. That makes me untrusting of Our Lord Jesus, rather than the opposite.

You've dismissed both Heliotropium and now this great little work by St. Alphonsus, Doctor of the Universal Church. They're not telling you what you want to hear. Reconsider whether they're the ones who've got it wrong.

I am NOT dismissing them at all! I never said that nor have I implied it!

I can only guess that the authors never had experienced what I'm going through with this cursed Disorder, nor had anyone in their families go through this and understand what this does to the sufferers. I can only guess that it never occurred to them that their words make OCPDers like me think God takes sadistic pleasure in our suffering, which is what the Devil would like us to think. That to the three million Americans who have this horrid Disorder, their counsel would drive them away from the arms of Jesus.

Or perhaps, you don't understand how hard it is to trust Jesus after you've been hit with something major like OCPD. Or take a look at my background from past posts. The regulars here on FE will direct you to them if they wish. My trust in Him varies from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. You have no idea what folks like me go through hanging on day to day. To my emotional state, you seem -- emphasis on the word "seem" -- to come off like a "Job's comforter" to me.

And I don't need such unwitting servants of Hell nipping at my heels. So please leave me alone and God forgive us both.

Thank you.

[INPEFESS]

I already have and read the second of the two. Truth be told, it makes God out to be a sadistic bully to me, and as Someone to not get close to. For any moment, like the Prophet Job of old, I could be struck down with anything and NOT be told why.

To me, that isn't true love but abuse, like that which I've grown up with. That makes me untrusting of Our Lord Jesus, rather than the opposite.

You've dismissed both Heliotropium and now this great little work by St. Alphonsus, Doctor of the Universal Church. They're not telling you what you want to hear. Reconsider whether they're the ones who've got it wrong.

I am NOT dismissing them at all! I never said that nor have I implied it!

I can only guess that the authors never had experienced what I'm going through with this cursed Disorder, nor had anyone in their families go through this and understand what this does to the sufferers. I can only guess that it never occurred to them that their words make OCPDers like me think God takes sadistic pleasure in our suffering, which is what the Devil would like us to think. That to the three million Americans who have this horrid Disorder, their counsel would drive them away from the arms of Jesus.

Or perhaps, you don't understand how hard it is to trust Jesus after you've been hit with something major like OCPD. Or take a look at my background from past posts. The regulars here on FE will direct you to them if they wish. My trust in Him varies from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. You have no idea what folks like me go through hanging on day to day. To my emotional state, you seem -- emphasis on the word "seem" -- to come off like a "Job's comforter" to me.

And I don't need such unwitting servants of Hell nipping at my heels. So please leave me alone and God forgive us both.

Thank you.

Though it may be hard for you to believe, and though they may never disclose it to anyone, there are some here who suffer even worse than yourself.

There are some here who would do almost anything in the world--who beg God daily--to have a cross such as yours rather than the one that they carry.

There are some here who carry the exact cross you carry. Some carry worse versions of it (there is at least one admittedly bi-polar poster here who does not speak of it). There are some here who bury incomprehensibly heavy spiritual burdens that outweigh any physical or psychological ailments. Oh! what these people wouldn't give to have your suffering!

I think that you should focus less on your own self and more on those around you who may be burdened with crosses that you will never understand.

In the end, however, Jesus carried the heaviest cross. We should look to Him and be thankful that He carried our own guilt for us.

Pax tecum.

[DrBombay]

Still praying HG.  And for all the fishies who suffer.

[Jackson K. Eskew]

I am NOT dismissing them at all! I never said that nor have I implied it!

Your words:

"it makes God out to be a sadistic bully to me, and as Someone to not get close to."

That sounds like a dismissal to me. It at least implies a dismissal.

[drummerboy]

I already have and read the second of the two. Truth be told, it makes God out to be a sadistic bully to me, and as Someone to not get close to. For any moment, like the Prophet Job of old, I could be struck down with anything and NOT be told why.

To me, that isn't true love but abuse, like that which I've grown up with. That makes me untrusting of Our Lord Jesus, rather than the opposite.

You've dismissed both Heliotropium and now this great little work by St. Alphonsus, Doctor of the Universal Church. They're not telling you what you want to hear. Reconsider whether they're the ones who've got it wrong.

I am NOT dismissing them at all! I never said that nor have I implied it!

I can only guess that the authors never had experienced what I'm going through with this cursed Disorder, nor had anyone in their families go through this and understand what this does to the sufferers. I can only guess that it never occurred to them that their words make OCPDers like me think God takes sadistic pleasure in our suffering, which is what the Devil would like us to think. That to the three million Americans who have this horrid Disorder, their counsel would drive them away from the arms of Jesus.

Or perhaps, you don't understand how hard it is to trust Jesus after you've been hit with something major like OCPD. Or take a look at my background from past posts. The regulars here on FE will direct you to them if they wish. My trust in Him varies from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. You have no idea what folks like me go through hanging on day to day. To my emotional state, you seem -- emphasis on the word "seem" -- to come off like a "Job's comforter" to me.

And I don't need such unwitting servants of Hell nipping at my heels. So please leave me alone and God forgive us both.

Thank you.

Actually, Alphonsus Ligouri does know what you're going through.  He suffered from scrupolosity.  Did you ever read any of St. Francis de Sales' works?  He had scrupulosity so bad he was confined to his bed for several days considering suicide.   I'd personaly pick him over Ligouri; he seems like a very gentle understanding soul when you read hi sworks.

And you may not want to hear this, but I believe this could be God's way of strengthening your trust in him, to bring you closer to Him.  What good is anything if we do not have to strive for it; if it's not a challenge to attain it.  Heaven would be cheap if GOd just carried us there on a couch.  God would not have afflicted you with this for no reason.  He is not a cruel sadistic torture master, like some bully kid who delights in pickin gon everybody on the playground.  Read Book II, ch 12 of teh Imitation of Christ to see where I coming from here.

[candyapple]

Have mass offered for you....

[HailGilbert]

I am NOT dismissing them at all! I never said that nor have I implied it!

Your words:

"it makes God out to be a sadistic bully to me, and as Someone to not get close to."

That sounds like a dismissal to me. It at least implies a dismissal.

Then, sir, you are wrong. It doesn't imply a dismissal at all.

[HailGilbert]

I already have and read the second of the two. Truth be told, it makes God out to be a sadistic bully to me, and as Someone to not get close to. For any moment, like the Prophet Job of old, I could be struck down with anything and NOT be told why.

To me, that isn't true love but abuse, like that which I've grown up with. That makes me untrusting of Our Lord Jesus, rather than the opposite.

You've dismissed both Heliotropium and now this great little work by St. Alphonsus, Doctor of the Universal Church. They're not telling you what you want to hear. Reconsider whether they're the ones who've got it wrong.

I am NOT dismissing them at all! I never said that nor have I implied it!

I can only guess that the authors never had experienced what I'm going through with this cursed Disorder, nor had anyone in their families go through this and understand what this does to the sufferers. I can only guess that it never occurred to them that their words make OCPDers like me think God takes sadistic pleasure in our suffering, which is what the Devil would like us to think. That to the three million Americans who have this horrid Disorder, their counsel would drive them away from the arms of Jesus.

Or perhaps, you don't understand how hard it is to trust Jesus after you've been hit with something major like OCPD. Or take a look at my background from past posts. The regulars here on FE will direct you to them if they wish. My trust in Him varies from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. You have no idea what folks like me go through hanging on day to day. To my emotional state, you seem -- emphasis on the word "seem" -- to come off like a "Job's comforter" to me.

And I don't need such unwitting servants of Hell nipping at my heels. So please leave me alone and God forgive us both.

Thank you.

Though it may be hard for you to believe, and though they may never disclose it to anyone, there are some here who suffer even worse than yourself.

There are some here who would do almost anything in the world--who beg God daily--to have a cross such as yours rather than the one that they carry.

There are some here who carry the exact cross you carry. Some carry worse versions of it (there is at least one admittedly bi-polar poster here who does not speak of it). There are some here who bury incomprehensibly heavy spiritual burdens that outweigh any physical or psychological ailments. Oh! what these people wouldn't give to have your suffering!

I think that you should focus less on your own self and more on those around you who may be burdened with crosses that you will never understand.

In the end, however, Jesus carried the heaviest cross. We should look to Him and be thankful that He carried our own guilt for us.

Pax tecum.

"Though it may be hard for you to believe, and though they may never disclose it to anyone, there are some here who suffer even worse than yourself.

There are some here who would do almost anything in the world--who beg God daily--to have a cross such as yours rather than the one that they carry.

There are some here who carry the exact cross you carry. Some carry worse versions of it (there is at least one admittedly bi-polar poster here who does not speak of it). There are some here who bury incomprehensibly heavy spiritual burdens that outweigh any physical or psychological ailments. Oh! what these people wouldn't give to have your suffering! "

I have never denied that at all. I've mentioned that in my past posts on FE and AQ.

"I think that you should focus less on your own self and more on those around you who may be burdened with crosses that you will never understand."

When this Disorder hits me full force, I have no control over what I go through. I don't have that ability when it strikes. Of my free will, I'm sorry for your own personal burdens you have to bear. But you and I don't really know each other that well. You don't know what I deal with tending to my father who has his own physical and mental health problems. Or being unable to help my sister and her family far away with their burdens. So I'm not as self-focused as it may appear.

Thank you, nonetheless, for your concerns.

[HailGilbert]

Still praying HG.  And for all the fishies who suffer.

Many thanks again, Doctor!