The closest book I found to my situation is Introduction to the Devout Life. But even then, written as it was all those centuries ago, it doesn't relate to or touch on folks like me with this or other psychological illnesses. It seems to me that most of the writings of the saints never touch on the situations of people with psychological maladies, like mine or others out there.
I read this a few days ago and thought of you:
Are there, however, any signs of predestination such as to give one a sort of moral certainty of perseverance? The Fathers, especially John Chrysostom, Augustine, Gregory the Great, Bernard, and Anselm, according to certain statements of Holy Scripture, pointed out several signs of predestination often enumerated by the theologians as follows: (1) a good life; (2) the testimony of a conscience that is free from serious sins and prepared rather to die than offend God grievously; (3) patience in adversities endured for the love of God; (4) readiness to hear the word of God; (5) compassion for the poor; (6) love of one's enemies; (7) humility; ( 8 ) a special devotion to the Blessed virgin whom we ask every day to pray for us at the hour of our death.
Among these signs, certain ones, such as Christian patience in adversity, are proof that the inequality of natural conditions is at times more than compensated by divine grace. This is borne out by the beatitudes as recorded in the Gospel: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek, they that mourn, they that hunger and thirst after justice, the merciful, the clean of heart, the peacemakers, they that suffer persecution for justice’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” These are the predestined. St. Thomas points out especially in his teaching that to bear patiently a heavy cross and for a long time is a sign of predestination.