Parmandur
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« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2011, 04:52:PM » |
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I ask because I'm not sure if I'll be able to do that.
The wedding vow states "I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." What type of "love" is this?
Like everyone else has said, it is not necessary, but to do so without a strong attachment is courting disaster in the domestic sphere. If you haven't felt that way about a woman yet, wait. If it doesn't happen naturally sooner or later, maybe God is calling you to something other than marriage. |
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verenaerin
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« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2011, 07:25:PM » |
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A marriage is a lot more enjoyable if you love the person.
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I cough for my own amusement...
I fight for the rights of the sleeveless!
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Servire Deo
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« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2011, 07:28:PM » |
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Does anyone agree with the following?
"Marriage therefore love" not "love therefore marriage".
I've read that making a decision to marry someone while in love is bad because one cannot make an objective decision when the mind is clouded by emotion and perhaps hormones.
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Mithrandylan
Banned for promoting sedevacantism
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Posts: 10,141
Divínum auxílium ✝ maneat semper nobíscum.
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« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2011, 07:31:PM » |
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Does anyone agree with the following?
"Marriage therefore love" not "love therefore marriage".
I've read that making a decision to marry someone while in love is bad because one cannot make an objective decision when the mind is clouded by emotion and perhaps hormones.
Making a decision to marry someone while knowing you don't love them is even worse, because it is dehumanizing by approaching marriage as a contract and not a bond. Now, I won't deny that some *seemingly doomed* (interpret that as you want) marriages have turned out fine, and even good. But as a general rule of thumb, marrying someone you don't love is a terrible idea. Marrying someone that you love, in the context of having love cloud your judgement is a valid point, but I would contend that any such love that clouds judgement is not actually love, but an infatuation and immature. True love is the love that Christ has for us, and it definitely doesn't cloud your judgement. |
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Vetus Ordo
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Personality type: Sinner
Posts: 18,069
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« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2011, 07:32:PM » |
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Does anyone agree with the following?
"Marriage therefore love" not "love therefore marriage".
I've read that making a decision to marry someone while in love is bad because one cannot make an objective decision when the mind is clouded by emotion and perhaps hormones.
You can't be serious. You have to be in love with someone in order to marry her. Treating marriage as a mere business decision is dehumanising. |
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"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
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Parmandur
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« Reply #15 on: November 19, 2011, 07:32:PM » |
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Does anyone agree with the following?
"Marriage therefore love" not "love therefore marriage".
I've read that making a decision to marry someone while in love is bad because one cannot make an objective decision when the mind is clouded by emotion and perhaps hormones.
That's what other people, such as parents and priests, are for, to give an objective judgement on a relationship. We're not saying people have to be crazy to the point of erratic behavior. But if the person you are considering marriage with is not your best friend...well, that's going to be rough. |
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Vetus Ordo
Member
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« Reply #16 on: November 19, 2011, 07:33:PM » |
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But if the person you are considering marriage with is not your best friend...well, that's going to be rough.
Actually, the person musn't be your "best friend" but someone you have romantic feels for. |
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"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
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Servire Deo
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Posts: 1,786
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« Reply #17 on: November 19, 2011, 07:36:PM » |
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But if the person you are considering marriage with is not your best friend...well, that's going to be rough.
Actually, the person musn't be your "best friend" but someone you have romantic feels for. So there's a disagreement. Both sides, cite your sources! |
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Iolanthe
Member
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Personality type: broken record
Posts: 5,220
"If one can't be happy one must be amused"
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« Reply #18 on: November 19, 2011, 07:38:PM » |
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But if the person you are considering marriage with is not your best friend...well, that's going to be rough.
Actually, the person musn't be your "best friend" but someone you have romantic feels for. So there's a disagreement. Both sides, cite your sources! There isn't a source for everything. It's just a question of who understands human nature best and therefore human relationships. You can't learn that from a "source." You should read poetry instead. |
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"Tenthly, one should pour tea into the cup first. This is one of the most controversial points of all; indeed in every family in Britain there are probably two schools of thought on the subject. The milk-first school can bring forward some fairly strong arguments, but I maintain that my own argument is unanswerable. This is that, by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk, whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round."
George Orwell
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Vetus Ordo
Member
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Personality type: Sinner
Posts: 18,069
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« Reply #19 on: November 19, 2011, 07:50:PM » |
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Perhaps there's a forgotten bull somewhere called Veris Amantibus that will function as a "source."
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"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
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