skirt length?

[Protrident]

Can guys chime in yet?   :-)   haha



If skirts aren't covering the knee when seated, our eyes will go there immediately to see if there's any type of show going on.  Of course, this is unconscious.  And then we have to fight our instincts/control our eyes and make sure we look away right away, not think about "stuff", and fight the strong unconscious impulse to glance back in a minute to see if anything changed.

If a woman is modestly dressed, our eyes look at them originally, but not down there, and then our minds rest easy and we don't keep fighting the impulse to "look back" over and over.  Better for everyone and she is kept out of the "to be used as a tool" category and kept in the respectful Person part of our brains.

 

... I'll mention the "tool/person" study if you like, skip to the next response if you already know it.  There's a been a few studies that "track men's eyeballs when looking at pictures and also track the parts of the brain that are stimulated while looking at different pictures.  Us men, for some strange reason, whether for the purpose of mating or for sizing up competition/seeing who we have to beat out (all unconsciously and how we are wired) tend to look at the genital region a lot, in both men and women.  Don't know why.  When pictures of women where put up, and they were dressed modestly, our eyes did glance "there" but they kept moving on and did not go back to "those" regions much if at all, and the part of the brain that was stimulated was the "person/people" part of the brain.  When a woman was NOT dressed modestly, just showing more skin, lower neck line, shorts, and pants, our eyes wandered more often in those areas because it was easy for us to see them or for our brains to fill in the last part that was hinted at.  The part of the brain that was stimulated is  the crazy part!   When we looked at women dressed this way, our brains processed the information not in the People part of our brain, but in the Tool part of our brain.  She was categorized immediately and unconsciously as a tool to be used right along with seeing pictures of hammers, wheelbarrows, wood beams, nails, screwdrivers, etc.  (to be used for sex, pleasure, etc)  She was moved out of the person category into the tool category.  That's scary stuff!  But great knowledge to have for both of us. 

[mom]

I prefer flow-y ankle length skirts. I'm very tall and that is just what I like, I wouldn't expect every woman to do that, especially short women. Ankle length just isn't flattering on short women, usually.

When it comes to my daughters and what I consider modest. Skirt needs to at minimum hit the floor when kneeling. Preferably covering the knees when sitting.  As for slits,many casual skirts like the denim/chino skirts from Lands End and LL Bean have slits. They expose up to the back of the knee. I know quite a few trads who will stich them up. Not me. Too hard to move comfortably without those slits, climbing in and out of the van, getting down on the floor to change a diaper etc....and only the really over-the-top person would think a frumpy denim skirt from lands end is immodest.

[verenaerin]

I prefer flow-y ankle length skirts. I'm very tall and that is just what I like, I wouldn't expect every woman to do that, especially short women. Ankle length just isn't flattering on short women, usually.

When it comes to my daughters and what I consider modest. Skirt needs to at minimum hit the floor when kneeling. Preferably covering the knees when sitting.  As for slits,many casual skirts like the denim/chino skirts from Lands End and LL Bean have slits. They expose up to the back of the knee. I know quite a few trads who will stich them up. Not me. Too hard to move comfortably without those slits, climbing in and out of the van, getting down on the floor to change a diaper etc....and only the really over-the-top person would think a frumpy denim skirt from lands end is immodest.

At my mum's Catholic school, the nuns would have all the girls kneel. Their skirts had to touch the floor or they were sent home. (1962-1966)

I think that if you wore opaque tights you could also get away with a longer slit, especially if you are taller. For me, if a skirt needs a slit, then it is too constricting. I am constantly on the floor, climbing over car seats to strap kids in, and using my feet to coral kids, hold legs down while changing diapers, etc. I am an octopus and need to be free.

[kgreen]

I think covering the knees when seated is a good minimum -- I tend to wear mid calf or longer most of the time, though because then I don't even have to think about it.  It also depends on the day -- and the wind.  On a windy day I will wear an ankle-length skirt made from a heavy weight fabric that will not blow in the wind, and isn't super poofy (poofy skirts catch air more).

I also agree with the poster who said that "8 inches" doesn't mean much, since it depends on your height.  8 inches on me is about 2 inches above the ankle bone, for example.  Unless you are starting from the top of the kneecap.

Windy days are hard. I am still kinda new at the skirt wearing thing, and living in a windy place.In fact, yesterday after Mass, I sat down on one of the benches outside of the chapel and the wind caught my skirt as I sat and blew it way up, I mean all the way up! As quick as I could I pushed it down. Of course, the way I was sitting, I was facing our parish priest and I am sure he could've seen it. I hope he didn't   Right after that, he came over to talk to me and my husband. Meanwhile I'm standing there probably looking like an idiot trying to hold my skirt down. Thankfully, he didn't talk very long. My husband told me after that he thought I was just standing in that position because I had to use the bathroom!  Yesterday was wonderful for humility....

Can guys chime in yet?   :-)   haha



If skirts aren't covering the knee when seated, our eyes will go there immediately to see if there's any type of show going on.  Of course, this is unconscious.  And then we have to fight our instincts/control our eyes and make sure we look away right away, not think about "stuff", and fight the strong unconscious impulse to glance back in a minute to see if anything changed.

If a woman is modestly dressed, our eyes look at them originally, but not down there, and then our minds rest easy and we don't keep fighting the impulse to "look back" over and over.  Better for everyone and she is kept out of the "to be used as a tool" category and kept in the respectful Person part of our brains.

 

... I'll mention the "tool/person" study if you like, skip to the next response if you already know it.  There's a been a few studies that "track men's eyeballs when looking at pictures and also track the parts of the brain that are stimulated while looking at different pictures.  Us men, for some strange reason, whether for the purpose of mating or for sizing up competition/seeing who we have to beat out (all unconsciously and how we are wired) tend to look at the genital region a lot, in both men and women.  Don't know why.  When pictures of women where put up, and they were dressed modestly, our eyes did glance "there" but they kept moving on and did not go back to "those" regions much if at all, and the part of the brain that was stimulated was the "person/people" part of the brain.  When a woman was NOT dressed modestly, just showing more skin, lower neck line, shorts, and pants, our eyes wandered more often in those areas because it was easy for us to see them or for our brains to fill in the last part that was hinted at.  The part of the brain that was stimulated is  the crazy part!   When we looked at women dressed this way, our brains processed the information not in the People part of our brain, but in the Tool part of our brain.  She was categorized immediately and unconsciously as a tool to be used right along with seeing pictures of hammers, wheelbarrows, wood beams, nails, screwdrivers, etc.  (to be used for sex, pleasure, etc)  She was moved out of the person category into the tool category.  That's scary stuff!  But great knowledge to have for both of us. 

I have heard this before and it makes perfect sense. My husband has mentioned things like this too. There is a woman named Colleen Hammond who wrote a book called Dressing with Dignity. It's pretty good. She has a website, and she put an article up that stated basically what you said here. Makes perfect sense. My husband was in the seminary with the son of an african chieftan. in their tribe, everyone went around nude all the time and he said no one really noticed it much because they were so used to it. But in places like the USA where everyone is sex-obsessed it's probably better to avoid looking like "those" girls. Also, I've read that the men in other countries see american women as easy because that's how they're portrayed on t.v.

And re: skirt length, the policy in our parish is that the skirt covers your knees when you're sitting. I think that's a good rule of thumb. Or you could do the head shoulders knees toes thing: basically you touch all those areas of your body and see how your clothes move with that motion and how much skin is showing.

[CanadianCatholic]

Just wear pants!

[little_flower10]

thanks for the replies everyone!

I would have to disagree with wearing pants 

I try to wear skirts and all my skirts are below the knee, many are ankle length..

there's something that St Padre Pio said though that I keep thinking about. He forbid his spiritual daughters to wear transparent stockings.. in the winter, I always wear opaque, black stockings, for warmth obviously. But in the summer, I just wear the skirt but it doesn't come up to my feet, it's much longer than the knees though. (let's assume, 8 inches). But if St Padre Pio didn't let his spiritual daughters to wear transparent stockings, does that mean that if you're wearing a skirt with no stockings in the summer, it should be long enough so you don't see ANY skin? (as in: up to the feet.. not ankle length). I actually like the really long flowy skirts, and I had a tiered skirt like that, and a dress, that I wore. I like how they look too and thankfully they weren't hard to find in stores cause they were in fashion. But - for a job, etc, it would be hard to wear skirts like that cause they are more casual. I suppose if it's air conditioned I could wear some sort of very light cotton stockings, if that's important. I know this probably sounds really scrupulous cause even "trads" wear ankle length skirts in the summer, I don't mean to be scrupulous but I'm just wondering what St Padre Pio meant!! I know many could say it's cultural, etc, it's no longer shocking to people like it was then, and no one today would have impure thoughts from seeing an ankle length skirt that's not tight - but if he could read souls, etc, what if this is some sort of "objective" modesty that was revealed to him by God? The reason I'm wondering is because I tend to trust what the Saints say.

Any thoughts??? Please I'm looking for more constructive replies not just disagreement I read about how St Frances of Rome saw some women she knew (this was the early Renaissance, I think) - who were in hell because they lead people into sin with their fashions, impure desires, and also because they went to dances, which were considered harmless. I know in the Renaissance, the dresses were often very low cut and maybe that was the reason. But today, fashions are even worse. I know that since people are brought up thinking they are normal, there's a lot of ignorance about modesty. So I'm not trying to judge anyone, and when I was younger I dressed like everyone else. But could it be, that even what we consider to be modest (ie knees covered is enough), is not entirely modest in reality? what if the standard that St Padre Pio taught - at least 8 inches below the knee, with non transparent stockings, etc, - is what is truly modest? I'm not really sure what to think or how to dress in the world... I already stand out with how I dress just because my skirts are longer.

Also, I'm not sure how lose skirts should be.. what is too tight? If it's kind of fitting, but not tight, and then flares out at the bottom, and is long enough, - I don't know if that's okay. I wear A-line skirts but two are like that.

I also read somewhere that sleeves should be at least at the elbow... what happens in the summer when everyone is wearing t-shirts?

I am finding this very complicated, someone please help me out I am willing to make all these sacrifices and wear floor length skirts in the summer if everything else is a sin, but I need to figure this out. I am just thinking about what St Padre Pio said.

[verenaerin]

Eh, not the biggest fan of Colleen Hammond. It's been a while since I've read her book. Her opinion on makeup and such I don't care for.

[little_flower10]

Okay is this type of skirt modest? imagine that it's a few inches longer though. This is similar to a skirt I have but I'm not sure if it's modest because I don't know if it's too fitted at the top? Any responses from guys especially would be helpful, because I don't know what could be a stumbling block to someone. http://bit.ly/zvAE5J

The skirts that I usually wear are more A-line like this one (just the cut) http://bit.ly/ytKpVl

[little_flower10]

Eh, not the biggest fan of Colleen Hammond. It's been a while since I've read her book. Her opinion on makeup and such I don't care for.

what is her opinion on makeup? I haven't read the book..

[verenaerin]

Eh, not the biggest fan of Colleen Hammond. It's been a while since I've read her book. Her opinion on makeup and such I don't care for.

what is her opinion on makeup? I haven't read the book..

She feels that just like you dress up when you go to church as a sign of respect for God, you should do the same for your husband.

In her interpretation of this, this includes changing your clothes, putting on make up and doing your hair. Being a former pageant girl, I understand how this is her interpretation. But that does not mean that her interpretation should be everyone's standard. The idea that by 730 in the morning, when my husband comes home form work, I have to be dressed, with make up and hair done, on top of feeding the kids, changing diapers, changing their clothes, keeping them out of trouble, dealing with the usual crying and whining, after a night of dealing with a teething baby who is averaging about 4 hours of sleep at night, just to show respect to my husband is insulting. If my husband can't figure out that I respect him in the way I treat his children, home and how I care for him, then we have a problem.