another vocation question

[Scriptorium]

However, I would really appreciate your feedback on whether you think it would be wise for me to pursue this further. In a nutshell, here's my situation: I wanted to be a priest for quite a few years before I decided for some reaosn it would be better to pursue marriage. However, I still now and then have a tug to the priesthood. It doesn't help (to use a figure of speech) that many people have noticed my reverance serving Mass and my knowledge of religious matters (people at church tell this to my mother alot.) My family still is supportive of my idea of pursuing the priesthood, at least when I was still planning on pursuing it. They don't know I'm still toying with the idea. I myself know that I could be a good priest. However, the thought of never marrying and leaving my family saddens me, and the thought of pursuing the seminary quite frankly scares me. However, I know that if this is what God wants, I will be happiest pursuing this, and He will give me the strength to carry on (I find Eccesiasticus ch 2 quite relevant to my situation). I really appreciate your help, because since I still have a little OCD/scrupulosity I find it hard to make decisions for myself, esp on a "sensitive" topic such as this. Thank you.

Okay, I'll make the decision for you -- pursue it. You'll know if it isn't your vocation when the Bishop says he won't ordain you. There's your will of God. Think of it this way, going to seminary will be good no matter what happens. If you are to be married, you'll be a better husband and father. So you win and others win no matter what, and you won't look back with the what-if non-sense. It is not good to be married and when the honeymoon effect wears off you say, what if? A key here is to not be afraid of the pleasure that comes from loving God. It is going to sustain you. It is a life of restraint, so you need to learn to be very open to spiritual pleasure so you won't need to reach out (mentally or physically) to a woman to fill some supposed deprivation. People give up women, family, company, and a lot of other things, and they fail and/or are miserable if they can't learn to take pleasure in spiritual goods which is blameless. The life of a priest is not to be without this, so learn to find it. It is in you, not out there somewhere. This will give you the consolation you need to be celibate, to live away from your family, and to go down this road which seems rather like a dark tunnel right now. So that's my tip. Don't over think the issue, "Is God calling me?" Just think simple thoughts. Am I being good? Am I in the good graces of my superiors? Am I able to find spiritual pleasure in this life? Pray. Take care of your body. And you have my prayers!

[drummerboy]

That sounds like a good idea Scriptorium.  I'll graduate from college first though, since right now I plan on pursuing a master's in history to teach college, so if seminary doesn't work out I can pursue that without the trouble of going back to college.

[DrBombay]

Yes, pursue it.  If you don't, you'll always have that small doubt in the back of your mind.  If you enter seminary and discern you don't have a vocation, you'll have much more peace for the rest of your life.

[Petertherock]

You better tell them about your diabetes. I have found diabetes is a big hang up with religious orders. I was tossed out of one order because of my diabetes and almost all other orders I have contacted don't even want to look at me when I tell them I have diabetes. I really think it's unfair and this really angers me to no end. I can name you a whole list of Saints who were great monks and priests even though they had many conditions that were a lot worse than diabetes. I just wish I could find an order that would accept me.

[drummerboy]

Peter: this could be Gods way of telling you that an order is not your vocation, and perhaps that there is another way to seek perfection.  Or, who knows, maybe found your own order for religious with diabetes or something.

[drummerboy]

The more I think about it, I really don't think I stand a chance of getting in at all.  The traditional "congregations" already have so many applicants, I doesn't make sense for them to take me when they can get somebody else just as good but without the baggage.  Beggar's can't be choosers, but they aren't beggars, so they can be choosy.

Another thing I just don't get is why would God give me diabetes, and yet the skills, personality, and knowledge to be a priest.  Many people have suggested the priesthood to me.  And God has always preserved a certain sense of "religionness" in me, even when I wasn't really practicing.  So why suggest the priesthood and then throw in diabetes as a spoiler?

[philosafari]

The more I think about it, I really don't think I stand a chance of getting in at all.  The traditional "congregations" already have so many applicants, I doesn't make sense for them to take me when they can get somebody else just as good but without the baggage.  Beggar's can't be choosers, but they aren't beggars, so they can be choosy.

There are so many options now and I've heard that a lot of people that would have been pursuing the FSSP or the ICKSP prior to SP are now just going through discernment in conservative Dioceses, so I doubt you would really be taking away from those folks. If they let you in, it's the seminary's fault, not yours. 

[DrBombay]

The more I think about it, I really don't think I stand a chance of getting in at all.  The traditional "congregations" already have so many applicants, I doesn't make sense for them to take me when they can get somebody else just as good but without the baggage.  Beggar's can't be choosers, but they aren't beggars, so they can be choosy.

Another thing I just don't get is why would God give me diabetes, and yet the skills, personality, and knowledge to be a priest.  Many people have suggested the priesthood to me.  And God has always preserved a certain sense of "religionness" in me, even when I wasn't really practicing.  So why suggest the priesthood and then throw in diabetes as a spoiler?

You have to try.  You won't know if you don't ask.  And if the trads won't take you (which, again I say, you have to pursue it until you get a solid "no") then there are literally hundreds of other options. 

He gave you a cross.  His instructions are to pick it up and follow him, not sit there and say, "Why me?"   

[drummerboy]

The more I think about it, I really don't think I stand a chance of getting in at all.  The traditional "congregations" already have so many applicants, I doesn't make sense for them to take me when they can get somebody else just as good but without the baggage.  Beggar's can't be choosers, but they aren't beggars, so they can be choosy.

There are so many options now and I've heard that a lot of people that would have been pursuing the FSSP or the ICKSP prior to SP are now just going through discernment in conservative Dioceses, so I doubt you would really be taking away from those folks. If they let you in, it's the seminary's fault, not yours. 

I might just go and talk to my diocese first anyway.  My diocese is in desperate need for priests; I would almost feel like I betrayed them going outside the diocese, esp. now that with SP I could say the TLM anyway.