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Traditional Guy
Peace Be With You
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Location: South Carolina
Personality type: Melancholic
Posts: 2,277


« Reply #30 on: April 11, 2012, 07:42:PM »

I guess I'm a freak. Good Day to you.

Well I'm not a married man but lust is definitely the most dufficult sin to avoid for me.
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"You know when I was 18 I thought my father was pretty dumb. 3 years later I was amazed at how much he learned." Going My Way Smile
Poche
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Posts: 4,755



« Reply #31 on: August 08, 2012, 05:38:AM »

Maybe you should take a good look at the Fathers of the Desert. Even though they lived more than 1500 years ago, And while they don't directly address this subject, their wisdom stands the test of time. 
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ggreg
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Don't hate what you cannot have


« Reply #32 on: August 14, 2012, 04:04:PM »

I've struggled most of my life with "sinning with myself".   

BELIEVE ME, YOU'RE NOT ALONE! I fall into this sin quite often, and to top it off, I'm married. Talk about shame. I have bipolar II, so the shame certainly doesn't help. I'll go days without even thinking about it, then just completely fall off the wagon. Whatever you do, don't give up!

I honestly don't understand how a married man can fall into this sin.

Marry, and you'll probably understand.

Headaches, pregnant wife, people moaning at each other, she went to bed 2 hours earlier than you, internet porn a few mouse clicks away.

sh** happens.  And habits are hard to break.
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ggreg
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Gender: Male
Posts: 10,586


Don't hate what you cannot have


« Reply #33 on: August 14, 2012, 04:08:PM »

Marriage is not a panacea to concupiscence.

It seems to me that it is.

If not, I'm screwed.

Or not, as the case may be.
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Josué
Blue Fish
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St.Casimir pray for us.


« Reply #34 on: August 14, 2012, 04:30:PM »

Remember whatit really is self abuse. You're not only hurting your body which is beautiful but you are hurting your soul which was redeemed at such a great price.
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Introibo ad altare Dei, ad Deum qui lætificat iuventutem meam.


winoblue1
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Location: Canada
Personality type: Sanguine, melancholic
Posts: 2,322



« Reply #35 on: August 23, 2012, 08:50:AM »

Actually, I think it would easier for married men to fall into this sin because they have the habit of enjoying sexual pleasure through the marital act and if something interupts that schedule their body is accustomed to having gratification.

For singles that try and practise chastity, they get accustomed to not having any sexual activities and so the desire for this sin decreases.

For those struggling with this sinful habit i suggest checking out this site www.settingcaptivesfree.com
I know it is protestant, but the system actually works.

I really pray that a Catholic religious order focused on helping people with purity would develop a similar website, because it combines daily meditations, readings and questions/answers with accountability to a real person that gives feedback and advice.

Of course for protestants it is a God-send because they are only now discovering the key to fighting habitual sin through the act of confession to God and another human being, whereas the Catholic Church has had confession from the beginning.

A few of the lessons have some anti-Catholic components, but when I did a program I found the people accepting of Catholics and even a bit interested. I didn't do the course to covert them, I did it to gain what insights I could to avoid sin and honestly it has really worked. I am no saint yet, but at least I feel I have some control over this vice and feel freedom from it.

If you are really fed-up and frustrated by this problem I would give it a try.
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Traditional Catholic seeking holiness.... seeking
Neo-Floriano
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« Reply #36 on: August 23, 2012, 09:34:AM »

A newlywed NO man recently told me that he masturbates often because his wife "isn't up to it". I told him that I found it sad. It didn't appear to bother him.

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INPEFESS
Please remember me in your rosary intentions.
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† "If anyone love Me, he will keep My word." †


« Reply #37 on: August 23, 2012, 12:14:PM »

You shouldn't worry, but have Faith in God and the grace of the sacraments. I recommend you read what St. Alphonsus says on impurity. It's excellent.

Would you be so kind as to link some of that here, if it available online? I am sure many would find it useful.
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I  n
N omine
P atris,
E t
F ilii,
E t
S piritus
S ancti

"The practice of the Church has always been the same, as is shown by the unanimous teaching of the Fathers, who were wont to hold as outside Catholic communion, and alien to the Church, whoever would recede in the least degree from any point of doctrine proposed by her authoritative magisterium" (Pope Leo XIII, Satis Cognitum, no.  9, June 29, 1896).

“Wherefore, brethren, labour the more, that by good works you may make sure your calling and election. For doing these things, you shall not sin at any time” (2 Peter 1:10).

Phillipus Iacobus
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« Reply #38 on: August 23, 2012, 03:46:PM »

Would you be so kind as to link some of that here, if it available online? I am sure many would find it useful.

Quote from: St. Alphonsus Liguori, Hell's Widest Gate, Impurity
"Broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many there are who go in that way" (Mt7.13).

Hell has then different gates, but these gates stand on our earth. "Her gates are sunk into the ground." (Lam 2.9) These are the vices by which men offend God, and
draw down upon themselves chastisements and eternal death. Among the other vices, there are four which send most souls to Hell, and on this earth bring upon men the
scourges of God; and these four are, HATRED, BLASPHEMY, THEFT, and IMPURITY.

Behold, the four gates by which the greater number of souls enter Hell; and it is of these four that I mean to speak today, in order that you may amend and cure yourselves of these four vices, otherwise God will cure you of them, but by your own destruction.

1. Hell's Widest Gate: Impurity

We have now to speak of the fourth gate of Hell, which is impurity [sexual sins], and it is by this gate that the greater number of the damned enter. Some will say that it is a trifling sin. Is it a trifling sin? It is a mortal sin. St. Antoninus writes that such is the nauseousness of this sin that the devils themselves cannot endure it.

Moreover, the Doctors of the Church say that certain demons, who have been superior to the rest, remembering their ancient dignity, disdain tempting to so loathsome a sin. Consider then how disgusting he must be to God, who, like a dog, is ever returning to his vomit, or wallowing like a pig in the stinking mire of this accursed vice (2 Pet 2.22).

The impure say, moreover, "God has compassion on us who are subject to this vice, because He knows that we are flesh." What do you say? God has compassion on this vice? But you must know that the most horrible chastisements with which God has ever visited the earth have been drawn down by this vice. St. Jerome says that this is the only sin of which we read that it caused God to repent of having made man, for all flesh had become corrupted (Gen 6.6-12). And so it is, St. Jerome says, that there is no sin which God punishes so rigorously, even upon earth, as this. He once sent fire from Heaven upon five cities, and consumed all their inhabitants for this sin (Sodom and Gomorrah,
Gen 18-19).

Principally on account of this sin did God destroy mankind, with the exception of eight persons, by the flood. It is a sin which God punishes, not only in the other life, but in this also. Because, says God, you have forgotten Me and turned your back upon Me, for a miserable pleasure of the flesh, I am resolved that even in this life you shall pay the price of your wickedness (Ezek 23.35). You say, "God has compassion upon men subject to this sin." But it is this sin that sends most men to Hell. St. Remigius says that the greater number of the damned are in Hell through this vice. Father Segneri writes that as this vice fills the world with sinners, so it fills Hell with damned souls; and before him St. Bernardine of Siena wrote: "This sin draws the whole world, as it were, into sin." And before him St. Bernard and St. Isidore said that "the human race is brought under the power of the devil more by lust than by all the other vices." The reason is because this vice proceeds from the natural inclination of the flesh. Hence St Thomas Aquinas says that the devil does not take such complacency in securing the commission of any other sin as of this, because the person who is plunged in this infernal mire remains lodged therein, and almost wholly unable to free himself again. "No one is so obstinate in sin as the impure," says St. Thomas of Villanova. Moreover, this vice deprives one of all light, for the impure man becomes so blind as almost wholly to forget God, says St. Laurence Justinian; which is in accordance with what is said by the prophet Hosea: They will not set their thoughts to return to their God; for the spirit of fornication is in the midst of them, and they have not known God (Hos 5.4).

The impure man does not know God; he obeys neither God nor reason, as St. Jerome says; he obeys only the sensual appetite which causes him to act like a beast. This sin, because it flatters, makes us fall at once into the habit of it, a habit which some carry with them even to death. You see husbands, and decrepit old men, indulge in the same thoughts and committing the same sins that they committed in their youth. And because sins of this kind are so easily committed, they become multiplied without number. Ask of the sinner how many impure thoughts he has consented to: he will tell you he cannot remember. But, brother, if you cannot tell the number, God can; and you know that a single willful immodest thought is enough to send you to Hell. How many immodest words have you spoken, in which you took delight yourself, and by which you scandalized your neighbour? From thoughts and words you proceed to acts, and to those innumerable impurities which those wretches roll and wallow in like swine, without ever being satisfied, for this vice is never satisfied.

But, Father, you will say, how can I hold out against the innumerable temptations which assail me? I am weak, I am flesh. And since you are weak, why not recommend yourself to God, and to most holy Mary, who is the mother of purity? Since you are flesh, why do you throw yourself in the way of sin? Why do you not guard your eyes? Why do you gaze upon those objects from which temptations flow?...It is to be remarked, moreover, that this sin brings with it innumerable others: enmities, thefts, and, more especially, sacrilegious confessions and Communions, by reason of the shame which will not allow these impurities to be disclosed in confession. And let us remark here in passing, that it is sacrilege above all things that brings upon us sickness and death; for, says the Apostle, "He that eats and drinks unworthily, eats and drinks judgement to himself, not discerning the body of the Lord"; and then he adds: "therefore are many infirm and weak among you." (1 Cor 11.29-30)

And St. John Chrysostom, in explanation of that passage, says that St. Paul speaks of persons who were chastised with bodily infirmities because they received the Sacrament with a guilty conscience. My brethren, should you ever have been sunk in this vice, I do not bid you be disheartened, but arise at once from this foul and infernal pit; beg of God immediately to give you light, and stretch out His hand to you. The first thing that you have to do is to break with the occasion of sin: without that, preaching and tears and resolutions and confessions, all are lost. Remove the occasions, and then constantly recommend yourself to God, and to Mary the mother of purity. No matter how grievously you may be tempted, do not be discouraged by the temptation; at once call to your aid Jesus and Mary, pronouncing their sacred names. These blessed names have the power of making the devil fly, and stifling that hellish flame within you. If the devil persists in tempting you, persevere in calling upon Jesus and Mary, and certainly you shall not fall. In order to rid yourself of your evil habits, undertake some special devotion to our Lady; begin to fast in her honour upon Saturdays; contrive to visit her image every day, and beg of her to obtain for you deliverance from that vice. Every morning immediately after rising, never omit saying three "Hail Marys" in honour of her purity and do the same when going to bed;* and above all things, as I have said, when the temptation is most troublesome, call quickly upon Jesus and Mary. Beware, brother, if you do not be converted now, you may never be converted.

Scroll down to find more readings: http://www.basilica.org/pages/ebooks/St.%20Alphonsus%20Liguori-Natural%20Calamities_Divine%20Threats_Four%20Gates%20of%20Hell.html

For St. Alphonsus, the four Gates of Hell are Hatred, Blasphemy, Theft, and Impurity.
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INPEFESS
Please remember me in your rosary intentions.
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Personality type: Mostly melancholic
Posts: 10,836


† "If anyone love Me, he will keep My word." †


« Reply #39 on: August 27, 2012, 08:46:AM »

Would you be so kind as to link some of that here, if it available online? I am sure many would find it useful.

Quote from: St. Alphonsus Liguori, Hell's Widest Gate, Impurity
[...]
Thank you!
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I  n
N omine
P atris,
E t
F ilii,
E t
S piritus
S ancti

"The practice of the Church has always been the same, as is shown by the unanimous teaching of the Fathers, who were wont to hold as outside Catholic communion, and alien to the Church, whoever would recede in the least degree from any point of doctrine proposed by her authoritative magisterium" (Pope Leo XIII, Satis Cognitum, no.  9, June 29, 1896).

“Wherefore, brethren, labour the more, that by good works you may make sure your calling and election. For doing these things, you shall not sin at any time” (2 Peter 1:10).

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