Scriptorium
Aimed to Please
Member
Gender: 
Posts: 5,659
In medio stat virtus
|
|
« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2012, 08:38:AM » |
|
Since I returned to the Faith, when I was dating I had a Catholic only policy. I come from a mixed marriage, and I was not in favor of starting a family in which everyone was not on the same spiritual page. I think that in matters so important, it isn't appropriate to put your children in such confusing circumstances. I know some people do this, but I think it is less than ideal, and the Church traditionally agreed in most cases. I did date a fervent Protestant for about a month. It was less "dating" then religious discussions with the flavor of dating. We'd get together and mostly discuss and debate Catholcism vs. "New Testament Christianity". She was a really nice lady, and probably would be a great wife and mother, but I told her flat out that we aren't going anywhere as a couple if we can't resolve this BIG question. I got her to admit on the Eucharist and many other questions, but she would not take the final steps. I simply moved on. It wasn't bitter. It was just an acknowledgement that we had a difference that could not be surmounted, and that we wished each other well. I for my part think I planted good seeds for that lady's future, and in retrospect God kept me from marrying the wrong lady, since within a year I met my wife. If you have a (charitable) Catholic only policy, you're going to be alright. Nothing wrong with spending some time with a non-Catholic lady and exposing her to the Faith, and giving it a try. Just don't mix it up with passion and kissing and the mixed message of accepting the Faith via sensual bait. That is real bad. Chaste discussion good. Making out bad. People are severely deluded if they think that they can change a person after they are in a relationship, or that mixing passion and Faith are a good thing. Chances are way against you. You may end up with an unhappy marriage, a divorce, confused kids, or you losing your faith. Just don't play that game. Keep it clean, and keep the relationship at arm's length while you discuss the Faith. Even if someone converts, you still need to be spotless in your conduct before the marriage day. One of the best ways to kill the message of Christ with a potential convert or new convert is to show that His teachings have very little influence in your life. In this case you are not raising the other person, but you are lowering yourself to the lowest common denominator. You may set that person on a worse path than if you just never met them.
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: February 25, 2012, 08:45:AM by Scriptorium »
|
Logged
|
Behold, I am coming soon. I bring with me the recompense I will give to each according to his deeds. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Blessed are they who wash their robes so as to have the right to the Tree of Life and enter the city through its gates.
~ Rv 22:12-14
|
|
|
Graham
Member
Gender:
Personality type: INTP
Posts: 842
|
|
« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2012, 09:49:AM » |
|
I was seeing a non-Catholic girl over December and January. I told her that we couldn't continue dating because our beliefs were too different. And I said we could be friends. She shot back defensively that she was never interested in me as a friend and never would be. I was like, "so you just want my body?" Man, I must have an awful personality if girls just want to have sex with me and nothing else! It's an odd 'role reversal' out there for Catholic men dating non-Catholic women, since they're the ones after sex, and we're the ones after love.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Warrenton
Member
Gender:
Personality type: manic
Posts: 1,235
|
|
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2012, 12:35:PM » |
|
Vetus, any more input would be appreciated. On a more personal note, I want a wife with the same Faith and position of the Church that I have. I am just a fallen man, and having a spouse, a best friend who could help me, keep me in check, and help me spiritually is a must. Vetus is absolutely right. Don't do it if you don't have to. If there is a non Catholic girl you fancy, be fair to yourself and her and bring the issue up after the first couple of dates, or, at about the time you are ready to start holding hands and kissing goodnight. If the young lady is Orthodox, you could explore a little farther, but you should speak to your respective priests early on. Marriage is hard enough in this day and age. There will be times when the only thing that will carry you both through is your devotion to the covenant you made before God. For a traditional Catholic, I would say marrying a non Catholic would be something on the order of getting married and then taking a year deployment at sea. It's on that order of magnitude for your happiness. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
I have loved the habitation of thy house, and the place where thy honour dwelleth
|
|
|
LoneWolfRadTrad
Sheepdog in wolf's clothing
Member
Gender:
Location: Living in the New World Order/Anti-Christendom but not of the New World Order/Anti-Christendom
Personality type: A sinister kid, the boy with the broken halo... :P usually accused of being a comedic/outgoing/charming/laid back guy. Too laid back in the eyes of most, they wouldn't believe I have a temper. You'd have to do alot to get me angry.
Posts: 1,729
Too often seeing red.
|
|
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2012, 12:43:PM » |
|
I was seeing a non-Catholic girl over December and January. I told her that we couldn't continue dating because our beliefs were too different. And I said we could be friends. She shot back defensively that she was never interested in me as a friend and never would be. I was like, "so you just want my body?" Man, I must have an awful personality if girls just want to have sex with me and nothing else! It's an odd 'role reversal' out there for Catholic men dating non-Catholic women, since they're the ones after sex, and we're the ones after love.
Ditto. If you can't count your spouse as one of your best friends, it won't function well. And won't be very fun. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
When you go up to receive communion, you're literally at the foot of the cross. Standing at all creation's center, the saints gather around. Martyrs, heroes staring into your very being. They lived AND died for Christ... can we say the same of ourselves? What are WE doing to further God's will in this life? Skipping Mass for our careers? Our education? Voting for heads of state, that don't recognize the source of all authority and power? They won't matter on your deathbed (or whatever end we meet).
So... why waste time with this modern world's nonsense? We have our own civilization: CHRISTENDOM. We must restore it whilst the modern world commits societal suicide.
Its naive and idealistic to believe government for man by man can succeed. Restore Christendom in our hearts and homes! Communities aren't that far off, its a numbers game.
"Accursed is the man that puts his trust in man" Book of Jeremiah Chapter XVII, verse 5.
|
|
|
|
Jenn
|
|
« Reply #14 on: February 25, 2012, 12:59:PM » |
|
I was seeing a non-Catholic girl over December and January. I told her that we couldn't continue dating because our beliefs were too different. And I said we could be friends. She shot back defensively that she was never interested in me as a friend and never would be. I was like, "so you just want my body?" Man, I must have an awful personality if girls just want to have sex with me and nothing else! It's an odd 'role reversal' out there for Catholic men dating non-Catholic women, since they're the ones after sex, and we're the ones after love.
Maybe I'm missing something, but why would you assume that a girl who says that she wasn't interested in you as a friend means she just wants sex? Did it occur to you that she meant she wasn't interested in you as a platonic friend, but that her interest in you was on a romantic level? I don't know about you, but I never dated men to have "friendships". The goal in mind was a relationship leading to marriage. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Disclaimer: The opinions, ideas and conclusions put forth in this post do not necessarily represent the views of the Fish Eaters owner nor those of its sponsors, staff or other constituents.
|
|
|
|
|
Vetus Ordo
Member
Gender:
Personality type: Sinner
Posts: 18,069
|
|
« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2012, 01:50:PM » |
|
I was seeing a non-Catholic girl over December and January. I told her that we couldn't continue dating because our beliefs were too different. And I said we could be friends. She shot back defensively that she was never interested in me as a friend and never would be. I was like, "so you just want my body?" Man, I must have an awful personality if girls just want to have sex with me and nothing else! It's an odd 'role reversal' out there for Catholic men dating non-Catholic women, since they're the ones after sex, and we're the ones after love.
Maybe I'm missing something, but why would you assume that a girl who says that she wasn't interested in you as a friend means she just wants sex? Did it occur to you that she meant she wasn't interested in you as a platonic friend, but that her interest in you was on a romantic level? I don't know about you, but I never dated men to have "friendships". The goal in mind was a relationship leading to marriage. Jenn is correct. Not wanting you "as a friend" doesn't mean she wants sex alone but that she only sees you in a romantic light. That's quite the compliment and Graham, as a man, knows it perfectly well. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
|
|
|
Richard C
Blue Fish
Gender:
Location: The Land of Pleasant Living
Posts: 1,894
Leo volo essem
|
|
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2012, 02:29:PM » |
|
For dating (with marriage as the goal), that is. At least people in the NO can be more easily converted but I would think that it would be very difficult to get a Protestant to be convinced of the traditional Catholic faith.
Does anyone have some real-life experience to share?
I found dating a Protestant to be a lonely experience. The relationship lasted almost 3 years and the wall between us only grew higher. The more I grew into my Catholic Faith the more distance it put between myself and her. Why would you want your two most important relationships to pull against one another? Conversely, with my fiancee (TheresaW, here) it feels like we're always on the same page and I love it. We grew to love the EF Mass together and our faith keeps growing together in a complementary way, almost like we're two halves of the same person. That's what I'd want for anyone. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Tradition cannot be inherited, and if you want it you must obtain it by great labor." -- T.S. Eliot "The Catholic Church is the only thing which saves a man from the degrading slavery of being a child of his age." -- G. K. Chesterton "The Catholic priest is simultaneously the victim offered on the altar. All the older, traditional ceremonies of the Roman Rite underscore this foundational dimension of the Mass. If we don’t see that relationship of priest, altar, and victim in every Holy Mass, then the way Mass has been celebrated has failed. If we don’t look for that relationship, then we are not really Catholic. Mass is Calvary." -- Fr. John Zuhlsdorf Member of the Confraternity of the Holy Rosary: http://rosaryconfraternity.org/ |
|
|
Scriptorium
Aimed to Please
Member
Gender:
Posts: 5,659
In medio stat virtus
|
|
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2012, 05:10:PM » |
|
... almost like we're two halves of the same person. ...
Sorry, I couldn't resist.   [Aristophanes' myth] |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Behold, I am coming soon. I bring with me the recompense I will give to each according to his deeds. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Blessed are they who wash their robes so as to have the right to the Tree of Life and enter the city through its gates.
~ Rv 22:12-14
|
|
|
Parmandur
Member
Gender:
Posts: 3,504
|
|
« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2012, 05:37:PM » |
|
More on topic, it depends. I've seen people make real, deep conversions from dating committed Catholics. It happens. I don't say I'd recommend it, but limiting the dating pool to Catholics or even Christians is not necessary. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
JayneK
Gold Fish
Gender: 
Personality type: INTJ
Posts: 14,590
|
|
« Reply #19 on: February 25, 2012, 05:41:PM » |
|
I was Protestant when my husband started dating me. When the relationship got serious we started attending each other's churches and I could see that being Catholic was better.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
ADORABLE Saviour, consider my many wants, and grant me those graces which Thou knowest I stand in need of to do Thy will in all things.
|
|
|
|
