Hate Your Husband? (or Your Wife?) You probably expect too much.

[cgraye]

Yes, but you're also 20.  Give it a few years.  Also, the number of conservative, marriageable girls increases with age (up until a certain point).  Most people are still goofing around in college at 20, and society has given us this weird idea that one MUST go to college and one must wait to marry.

Well, I'm 31 and none of them have shown up yet, so I declare shenanigans on this nonsense.

[Walty]

Yes, but you're also 20.  Give it a few years.  Also, the number of conservative, marriageable girls increases with age (up until a certain point).  Most people are still goofing around in college at 20, and society has given us this weird idea that one MUST go to college and one must wait to marry.

Well, I'm 31 and none of them have shown up yet, so I declare shenanigans on this nonsense.

I'm not saying that it is foolproof and works everywhere and every time, but it's far and away the best approach out there.  You wouldn't have any more success if you were more worried about girls, went way out of your way to try and force things, or spent all your time working on figuring out how to nab a wife.

The women that you do meet, I guarantee, respect you so much more for having your crap together and not being the dude who's whining about not having a girlfriend or wife.

[JoeVoxxPop]

Seek first the Kingdom of God and ALL things will be added. Which one of you being evil would give his son a stone when he asked for a loaf of bread?
If you willfully push for the perfect mate instead of walking in faith on the matter you are asking for trouble. Im not saying you cannot consciously court someone, but Im saying if you react to impatience, concupiscence and vanity instead of  God you cannot but choose a mismatch. BUT that being said some mismatches can get repaired by the graces of the Marriage sacrament. It seems to me many "mixed" marriages happen because of this lack of patience, and then the Lord has to patch things up as best is possible.

[Phillipus Iacobus]

Voxx when you say mixed do you mean religion? Race?

[JoeVoxxPop]

Voxx when you say mixed do you mean religion? Race?

yes religion. And mixed race marriages should not be entered into lightly...but that is not as problematic.

[cgraye]

I'm not saying that it is foolproof and works everywhere and every time, but it's far and away the best approach out there.

And I'm saying it's the worst.  The only way this pays off is by luck.

You wouldn't have any more success if you were more worried about girls, went way out of your way to try and force things, or spent all your time working on figuring out how to nab a wife.

There's a difference between trying to find a spouse and forcing it.  If I do nothing, I will never find a wife, because I would literally never be in a place with single women unless I made a specific effort to do so.

The women that you do meet, I guarantee, respect you so much more for having your crap together and not being the dude who's whining about not having a girlfriend or wife.

Yeah, they don't care.

[Walty]

I'm not saying that it is foolproof and works everywhere and every time, but it's far and away the best approach out there.

And I'm saying it's the worst.  The only way this pays off is by luck.

You wouldn't have any more success if you were more worried about girls, went way out of your way to try and force things, or spent all your time working on figuring out how to nab a wife.

There's a difference between trying to find a spouse and forcing it.  If I do nothing, I will never find a wife, because I would literally never be in a place with single women unless I made a specific effort to do so.

The women that you do meet, I guarantee, respect you so much more for having your crap together and not being the dude who's whining about not having a girlfriend or wife.

Yeah, they don't care.

Obviously you have to do more than nothing.  If you meet someone worth dating, then you make the move on her.  You put yourself in positions to meet women who will make good wives.  My point is that, above and beyond these steps, everything else will just make a guy look desperate, as will whining about not finding a wife/girlfriend.

[cgraye]

Obviously you have to do more than nothing.  If you meet someone worth dating, then you make the move on her.  You put yourself in positions to meet women who will make good wives.  My point is that, above and beyond these steps, everything else will just make a guy look desperate, as will whining about not finding a wife/girlfriend.

Above and beyond those steps?  What else is above and beyond going where the women are and asking them out?  That's the maximum level of effort you could possibly put forth toward finding a wife, except for mail order bride.

[Walty]

Obviously you have to do more than nothing.  If you meet someone worth dating, then you make the move on her.  You put yourself in positions to meet women who will make good wives.  My point is that, above and beyond these steps, everything else will just make a guy look desperate, as will whining about not finding a wife/girlfriend.

Above and beyond those steps?  What else is above and beyond going where the women are and asking them out?  That's the maximum level of effort you could possibly put forth toward finding a wife, except for mail order bride.

There's a difference between having hobbies and pursuing the hobbies themselves while having a look out for ladies and doing things for the sole purpose of finding ladies.  I think that the amount of effort put into finding a woman is inversely related to the amount of success one finds.

[cgraye]

There's a difference between having hobbies and pursuing the hobbies themselves while having a look out for ladies and doing things for the sole purpose of finding ladies.  I think that the amount of effort put into finding a woman is inversely related to the amount of success one finds.

If that were the case, I would have gotten infinity women between the ages of 20 and 24.

And anyway, what if your hobbies don't involve other people?