what do i do?

[yosupman]

I used to attend the latin mass before I got married.  Not exclusively, but most of the time.  I've been married almost 6 years now and my first child is ready for kindergarden.  My wife and I have attended the most conserative NO church in town.  Sunday mass is somewhat reverent (at least father says a good mass).  But I attended the 8th grade graduation mass last night and I was appaled.  People were loud before mass, the 8th grade graudation girls looked like models on a runway.  The school wins awards year after year.  But  I'm very concerned about the purity of my children.  Also I'm concerned that the other parents and kids do not have my values.  The pastor is good, but the kids could undermine everything.  We have a latin parish 15 miles outside town.  I'm thinking abut talking with my wife about sending our son there in a year.  Eventually we'd have to sell our house in town and move to where the school is to make things easier. 

My wife was not raised in the latin mass.  I converted as a young adult pretty much right into the latin mass.   My wife prays  with me, and even prays the novus ordo divine office.  My wife is modest, but doesn't wear the super long dresses and little house on the prairie garb.  I think she is worried if we attend she'll have to have 10 kids and where burlap.  (sorry for the exagerations).  any suggestions on helping my wife to get on board here to start attending the latin mass some?

Thanks,

Michael

[Anastasia]

Did you go to a parish near you and try it out? Because honestly, the TLMs where absolutely every woman looks 19th century Mormon are few and far between. Some women will, but parishes tend to have at least a few women who have fashion sense. I think if she gave it a try, she'd see that the stereotypes are not 100 percent true. Honestly, we can be fun!
I know what you mean about the graduation Masses, though. The diocesan Catholic school in the town my parents live does much the same; little daily Masses are fairly reverent, but whenever they feel they need to " put on a big show", they do all kinds of crazy stuff.

[CollegeCatholic]

My wife was not raised in the latin mass.  I converted as a young adult pretty much right into the latin mass.   My wife prays  with me, and even prays the novus ordo divine office.  My wife is modest, but doesn't wear the super long dresses and little house on the prairie garb.  I think she is worried if we attend she'll have to have 10 kids and where burlap.  (sorry for the exagerations).  any suggestions on helping my wife to get on board here to start attending the latin mass some?

Tell her as long as she dresses modestly, the other old bitties can mind their own beeswax.  For as much as some trads don't like America, they are rather prone to adopt early American (lack of) "fashion."

God never said faithful Catholics have to look like boring, plain Protestants.  And, your family size is between yourselves, God, and your priest. 

Basically, ignore the old morons.  Worst case happens is some trads with a stick up their butt give her some dirty looks. 

If she prays the NO Divine Office.. that's good.  You should (slowly) try to bump her on over to the traditional office.    It's way better!     But you know her better.

[OCLittleFlower]

Many people in this world have no fashion sense.  They would have no fashion sense even if they did not make modesty a priority.   If they dressed immodestly, they'd be on People of Walmart.

You can have style and be modest.  Style and modesty are two issues, not one.

[yosupman]

Did you go to a parish near you and try it out? Because honestly, the TLMs where absolutely every woman looks 19th century Mormon are few and far between. Some women will, but parishes tend to have at least a few women who have fashion sense. I think if she gave it a try, she'd see that the stereotypes are not 100 percent true. Honestly, we can be fun!
I know what you mean about the graduation Masses, though. The diocesan Catholic school in the town my parents live does much the same; little daily Masses are fairly reverent, but whenever they feel they need to " put on a big show", they do all kinds of crazy stuff.

We do have a parish near me.  We really haven't tried it out.  I'm going to take my family tomorrow.  The thing I guess I've avoided is that even though we attend the parish with the most convervative priest, I bet that 90% of the parishoners use contraception.  How many are consecrated to Mary?  Going to the school mass really showed me what kind of parents send their kids.  Parents that don't respect our Lords presence in the Eucharist.

I'm going to at least take my wife maybe every other Sunday for a while.  We'll go from there.

[gloriamaria]

Be careful not to isolate your wife. She could become bitter, like me! I'm at one of those chapels. I feel like I have to have my kids change clothes before the other (trad) kids come to play. And no, not immodest, the kids are just wearing "play clothes". Someone once warned me, "Bloom where you're planted." I wish I had listened. I wish we had stayed where we were, and while maintaining our modesty, we might have perhaps helped others. Being off in Trad land, and isolated, has done nothing to help our faith. I guess it remains to be seen if it has helped the children. A few are nearly adults. I guess time will tell. Sorry not to be very hopeful. I just think you should take everything into consideration.

[yosupman]

I will never isolate my wife.  She is my best friend

[JayneK]

Here is a recent thread on CAF where a woman with similar concerns to your wife's wrote in for advice.  Perhaps reading it will give you some ideas.http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=665550

[MRose]

Did you go to a parish near you and try it out? Because honestly, the TLMs where absolutely every woman looks 19th century Mormon are few and far between. Some women will, but parishes tend to have at least a few women who have fashion sense. I think if she gave it a try, she'd see that the stereotypes are not 100 percent true. Honestly, we can be fun!
I know what you mean about the graduation Masses, though. The diocesan Catholic school in the town my parents live does much the same; little daily Masses are fairly reverent, but whenever they feel they need to " put on a big show", they do all kinds of crazy stuff.

We do have a parish near me.  We really haven't tried it out.  I'm going to take my family tomorrow.  The thing I guess I've avoided is that even though we attend the parish with the most convervative priest, I bet that 90% of the parishoners use contraception.  How many are consecrated to Mary?  Going to the school mass really showed me what kind of parents send their kids.  Parents that don't respect our Lords presence in the Eucharist.

I'm going to at least take my wife maybe every other Sunday for a while.  We'll go from there.

How was Mass today? (I mean, subjectively speaking, for your wife & family - Mass is Mass, of course!)

My situation bears some similarity to yours. Prayers for you!

[three_emcees_and_onedeacon]

I had a similar scenario.... I was raised for 20-odd years in the SSPX, wife was born and bred NO...

We were married in an FSSP church, and after 3 years of going to both forms, are now solely traditional, I let my wife come to her senses, on her own. And she did.

She's now a traditional wife and mother, and I don't think her faith would be as strong had I stifled her and refused to go to Novus Ordo, she really came to her own conclusions, especially for the sake of our kids. The lack of reverence and theological moral relativism in NFP and abortion were the kickers.

Deo Gratias.