kayla_veronica
Mrs. Mith
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Stay with us, O Lord. (Luke 24:29)
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« on: May 25, 2012, 10:37:AM » |
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One of my old high school friends is having a a baby out of wedlock and I was wondering if there was anything problematic about attending her baby shower?
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May the most holy, most sacred, most adorable,
most incomprehensible and ineffable Name of God
be forever praised, blessed, loved, adored
and glorified in Heaven, on earth,
and under the earth,
by all the creatures of God,
and by the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ,
in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar.
Amen.
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Aragon
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« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2012, 10:50:AM » |
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You're celebrating the new baby not the woman's fornication so I don't see what would be problematic about it. But, of course, if you're having doubts then ask a priest.
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Remember Dear Christian, you have but one soul to save, One God to love and serve, One eternity to expect. Death will come soon, judgement will follow, and then, Heaven or Hell forever.
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Sondaar
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God is my erns
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« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2012, 10:59:AM » |
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I would attend. The fact that she's having the child and celebrating its birth instead of aborting it is something good in itself, even if its the circumstances are not great.
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"I open this synagogue in the name of Jesus Christ" Paul Kruger's opening speech when opening a synagogue in Johannesburg 1896.
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yablabo
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« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2012, 11:34:AM » |
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One of my old high school friends is having a a baby out of wedlock and I was wondering if there was anything problematic about attending her baby shower?
If you think that you'll be giving scandal by the offerings of material support to a woman in her condition, then best not to go. I have had to go through this will all of my younger siblings (they're all having illegitimate children this year; in fact, the first one was born just yesterday morning). I have given gifts to my sister who just had her son yesterday in secret, but I certainly would not attend what I knew would be the celebration of a very evil and violent act against her son, meaning her baby shower. It's emotionally hard, but I'm not going to stand in line and praise my siblings on their pregnancies along with their friends who see nothing wrong with illicit sexual affairs. I think that would be, in fact, very scandalous. -- Nicole |
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newyorkcatholic
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terrena despicere
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« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2012, 11:50:AM » |
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One of my old high school friends is having a a baby out of wedlock and I was wondering if there was anything problematic about attending her baby shower?
If you think that you'll be giving scandal by the offerings of material support to a woman in her condition, then best not to go. I have had to go through this will all of my younger siblings (they're all having illegitimate children this year; in fact, the first one was born just yesterday morning). I have given gifts to my sister who just had her son yesterday in secret, but I certainly would not attend what I knew would be the celebration of a very evil and violent act against her son, meaning her baby shower. It's emotionally hard, but I'm not going to stand in line and praise my siblings on their pregnancies along with their friends who see nothing wrong with illicit sexual affairs. I think that would be, in fact, very scandalous. -- Nicole Why is the baby shower an evil and violent act against anyone? Anyway, a baby shower is about showing support for a woman who is going to raise her child, and especially about helping with the material needs of the child. It has nothing to do with how the child was conceived! If you can't separate the two, blame God who allows children to be conceived out of wedlock. |
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One human thought alone is worth more than the entire world, hence God alone is worthy of it. -- St. John of the Cross
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IrishCowboy
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« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2012, 12:25:PM » |
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It's emotionally hard, but I'm not going to stand in line and praise my siblings on their pregnancies along with their friends who see nothing wrong with illicit sexual affairs. I think that would be, in fact, very scandalous.
True. It has nothing to do with how the child was conceived!
False. If you can't separate the two, blame God who allows children to be conceived out of wedlock.
Not only false, but actually rather disturbing. I believe these matters should be handled on a case-by-case basis. As someone already said, there is the fact that she is having the child and not aborting it. That counts for something. There is also the consideration of potential damage to your friendship, which may be your friend's best shot at conversion. Ultimately, though, let's face it. Baby showers are as much about celebrating the motherhood and pregnancy as they are about getting baby gifts for afterwards. Since that pregnancy was (presumably) started with an intentional immoral act, you can't condone it or celebrate it. It's tough, since the child is innocent. Give her a gift if you want to help out with the material needs at some point. Considering that there aren't family ties to respect or solidarity to show (like if it was a case of rape or something), my opinion is: take a stand and graciously decline. |
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Quod facimus in vita resonat in aeternam.
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StrictCatholicGirl
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« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2012, 12:41:PM » |
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If it's bothering you, you can send her a gift and not attend the shower. Since it's just an old friend from high school ... it's easier to get out of.
Personally I have no qualms attending baby showers for unwed mothers. I was an unwed mother myself. I needed the baby stuff and, yes, we all celebrated. I was happy my family and friends supported me and I was thrilled that I was going to be a mother.
In fact, I just thought of this... our local pro-life pregnancy center throws "baby showers" where only the gift donors attend... there are refreshments and games.... just like a real baby shower only no mother is there. The gifts are later distributed to the clients and many of them are unwed.
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« Last Edit: May 25, 2012, 12:54:PM by StrictCatholicGirl »
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"We are afraid of God's surprises." -- Pope Francis
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Vetus Ordo
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« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2012, 01:11:PM » |
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It depends. Monogamous concubinage was for a long time a conventional and respectable social custom, even in the Christian world. This was illustrated by a canon of a Spanish synod of 400 decreeing that, so long as a man was faithful to his concubine as if she were a wife, their relationship constituted no bar to communion. At Rome, early in the third century, Pope Callistus, a freedman, had recognised unions between emancipated ladies of high birth and men of low social rank, to whom legal marriage was impossible.
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"THE LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 26:1)
"And we, too, being called by His will in Christ Jesus, are not justified by ourselves, nor by our own wisdom, or understanding, or godliness, or works which we have wrought in holiness of heart; but by that faith through which, from the beginning, Almighty God has justified all men; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." — Clement, bishop of Rome
"I love truth," says he, "and not sects. I am sometimes a peripatetic, a stoic, or an academician, and often none of them; but—always a Christian. To philosophise is to love wisdom; and the true wisdom is Jesus Christ. Let us read the historians, the poets, and the philosophers; but let us have in our hearts the gospel of Jesus Christ, in which alone is perfect wisdom and perfect happiness." — Petrarch
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Phillipus Iacobus
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« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2012, 02:08:PM » |
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It depends. Monogamous concubinage was for a long time a conventional and respectable social custom, even in the Christian world. This was illustrated by a canon of a Spanish synod of 400 decreeing that, so long as a man was faithful to his concubine as if she were a wife, their relationship constituted no bar to communion. At Rome, early in the third century, Pope Callistus, a freedman, had recognised unions between emancipated ladies of high birth and men of low social rank, to whom legal marriage was impossible.
Both of these examples are from quite some time ago. |
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The_Harlequin_King
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« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2012, 02:11:PM » |
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It depends. Monogamous concubinage was for a long time a conventional and respectable social custom, even in the Christian world. This was illustrated by a canon of a Spanish synod of 400 decreeing that, so long as a man was faithful to his concubine as if she were a wife, their relationship constituted no bar to communion. At Rome, early in the third century, Pope Callistus, a freedman, had recognised unions between emancipated ladies of high birth and men of low social rank, to whom legal marriage was impossible.
Both of these examples are from quite some time ago. America is like the fourth Rome, right? |
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Please read and subscribe to my blog: Modern Medievalism. Applying old-world solutions to new-world problems.  Praying for the dead is important. PM me if you need a cantor for the Requiem Mass of a deceased friend or family member. Have cassock and surplice, will travel. (Will also do weddings for a reasonable price.) |
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